


Don't Get too Close (It's dark inside)

by ToTheStarsWriting



Series: Hiding Under my Skin [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Background Relationships, Bisexual Clary Fray, Bisexual Simon Lewis, Canon-Typical Downworlder Racism, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Developing Relationship, Discrimination, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Female Alec, Female Magnus, Friendship, High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane, Out and Proud, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus, Shadowhunter Alec, Warlock Alec, alec is out, and unashamed, downworlder discrimination, fem Malec, for most of our characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:13:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 56,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheStarsWriting/pseuds/ToTheStarsWriting
Summary: Ten years ago Alexandra Lightwood woke up to find her whole life turned upside down. The pain she’d been feeling for days had finally stopped, but in its place it left behind a magic she didn’t want, and a mark she was sure she’d never be able to hide. Terrified of what her family might do, she ran away from home, sure that whatever waited out on the streets couldn’t be worse than what she was leaving behind.It was by sheer luck that she happened to eventually be found by Luke Garroway. Through him, Alec met Dot, the woman who would become both her teacher and her guardian, and she met the small, fierce little girl who would eventually become her best friend.In the years that have passed, Alec’s learned to control her magic, and she’s made herself a life and a home here. Maybe it wasn’t the one she’d expected to have, but it was hers.Only now, things are happening that threaten to tear that life apart. Her old life is crashing into her new, and Alec’s going to have to make some hard choices on who she can and can’t trust.(Don't have to read previous story to read this)
Relationships: Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Jocelyn Fairchild/Luke Garroway, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland, mostly in the future
Series: Hiding Under my Skin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697266
Comments: 113
Kudos: 317





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the summary, you don't have to read the last story if you don't want to, though obviously I'd love if you did. That story is just how child Alec woke, found out she was a warlock, and how she got connected to the Fray family. This story takes place ten years after that, when Alec is just shy of twenty-one. She's been living in the shop with Dot, playing the part of 'cousin' to anyone who asks. In that time, Alec has learned about being a warlock and about being a mundane. She even went to high school!
> 
> But now Clary's birthday is here, and life is changing.

There were very few things in life worth honestly caring about. Alec Lightwood had discovered that truth at a very young age and it was one she’d never forgotten. Caring about things only led to people using them against you. Be they family, friend, or enemy, people weren’t above taking what was important to you and using it as leverage to get you to do what they wanted.

By the time Alec had left home at the age of ten, that mindset had been hammered in deep enough that there was no getting rid of it. Not even spending the next ten years living with people who not only consistently tried to give her _frivolous things_ , but who also tried to get her to care about a whole multitude of things that she’d really rather not.

Like, currently, some party that one of her best friends – and biggest annoyances in life – was trying to convince her to go to.

Clary Fray let out a heavy sigh as she flopped back against Alec’s small bedroom desk without a single care for the books and paperwork that were sitting there. “Come _on_ , Alec! It’s just _one_ party, that’s all!”

From her spot where she was stretched out on the bed, Alec gave her friend her single most unimpressed look. Which, she’d been told, was pretty damn intimidating. It was usually enough to cow their other friend, Simon, into listening. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to work all that well on Clary. She was either mostly immune to them by now or just too stubborn to heed the warning. “It’s never _just a party_ with you, Fray. And get your ass off my paperwork.”

“Quit being such an old lady,” Clary shot back. She got up off the papers, though, and even took a second to smooth them out.

If Alec had thought her friend was going to let it go, she was quickly proved wrong.

Once she was upright, Clary put her hands on her hips and grinned over at her without a single ounce of shame. “It’s my eighteenth birthday. You _have_ to come out with me. It’s like, tradition for best friends to celebrate together!”

“Is that supposed to make me care?”

Clary laughed openly at her, far too used to Alec’s dry sarcasm to be even a little bothered by it. She also apparently took that comment as some sort of acquiesce because she headed over to the armoire that had replaced Alec’s dresser a few years back. “Let’s see if we can find you something to wear that does more for your body than your usual stuff.” She turned and shot Alec a wink. “Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll find yourself a pretty girl.”

A few years ago, a comment like that would’ve sent Alec into a tailspin of panic and self-loathing. It’d taken Clary coming out as bisexual, plus a few conversations with Dot, Luke, and then Clary and Simon both, for Alec to finally reach the place she was at today where she was comfortable with who she was. She wasn’t going to pride parades or anything like that – though Clary insisted they were going to go to the one this year if she had to drag Alec there by her hair – but Alec wasn’t ashamed of her sexuality. She was gay. Other people could just deal with it.

No, it wasn’t the comment about the ‘pretty girl’ that threw Alec. It was the mocking remark about her clothes.

She looked down at the outfit she was wearing and scowled. What was wrong with it? It wasn’t like she was wearing anything strange. Just black jeans and a black t-shirt. The color was probably what annoyed Clary the most. She hated that Alec’s wardrobe wasn’t more _colorful_.

“I dress just fine,” Alec said pointedly. She shifted around until she was laying back on her bed, the picture of bored disdain. It was a look that Clary often told her she did way, way too well. There was a reason Alec’s nickname through school had been _Ice Queen_. Or, when she’d pissed someone off enough, _Ice Bitch_.

Clary rolled her eyes for what had to be the millionth time since they’d come in here. “Come on, Alec. It’s just one night. One night where you stop being such a brat for a while and come out to have some fun. We’re even going to go watch Simon perform, first. When was the last time you came to watch one of Simon’s gigs, huh?”

Thinking of that was enough to have Alec grimacing. It’d actually been quite a while. Something she felt sort of bad about. Simon was a good performer with a beautiful singing voice. Alec liked to listen to him – she did. She also liked going to support him. No matter that she’d never openly admit it. Hers and Simon’s friendship was built on snark, teasing, fake glares that most people didn’t realize were fake, and a protectiveness that almost rivaled the one Alec felt for Clary. At least Clary had picked up pretty well on the fighting techniques Alec had taught her over the years. Simon refused to learn more often than not.

“I’m gonna be working during his gig.” Which Alec actually did feel bad about. She’d missed the past couple of them, and she’d wanted to be able to go to this one. But one thing she’d discovered about growing up in the mundane world was that money was a sort of necessity if one wanted anything. She had a rent to pay, and bills, and none of those happened without some sort of income.

It was only thanks to Luke and Dot that Alec had the job she had. They were the ones who’d signed her up at the local gym as a teenager so she could get some sparring partners that were actually a challenge for her. Then – and Alec was still convinced Dot used a little magic to fudge some papers or whatever – a year after Alec graduated High School, she’d ended up with the job of teaching one of the martial arts classes. The one for kids.

Clary liked to laugh about it, but she’d come in sometimes to assist and help Alec demonstrate some moves.

The job was easy, the kids were fun, and the pay was enough for Alec to actually afford a place that wasn’t too far from Jocelyn’s. Close enough to come over if necessary, far enough away that she could _stretch her wings_ , as Dot put it. The apartment was tiny, with the kitchen and living room one open, smushed together space, and her bedroom just large enough for the armoire, desk, and bed to fit without much space for anything else. Including walking around.

Usually her classes were in the morning, but she’d agreed to help cover in a women’s self-defense class tonight and it was happening right during Simon’s gig.

Clary brushed off her excuse. “All the more reason you should come to the afterparty!”

She wasn’t going to let this go. Which, okay, Alec couldn’t blame her. It _was_ her birthday. But Alec knew what time her self-defense class was going to let out and she knew the kind of mood it was going to put her in. “Can we do it tomorrow night? This class runs pretty late and I have no idea when I’m actually going to finish.”

Clary stuck her head out of the armoire long enough to flash Alec a huge grin. In that moment, Alec knew – she’d been played. “Oh, good idea! I’ll just pick you out something for tomorrow, and then we can meet up for lunch tomorrow afternoon and make a day of it!” Then she ducked back inside and went back to rifling through Alec’s clothes like they were her own. “Why do you have nothing good to wear in here? I know Dot buys you things! I’ve seen the shopping bags before!”

Still rolling her eyes at the absolute _brat_ , Alec sighed. “Dot buys me things I actually want to wear. Just because you don’t approve of them doesn’t mean they’re not good. Now will you quit picking at my clothes? Don’t you have somewhere you’re supposed to be right now anyway, Fray?”

“Not for another hour yet. There’s plenty of time to get there!”

The slight hitch in Clary’s voice had Alec’s eyes cutting over toward her. Today Clary was going to interview at the Brooklyn Academy of Art and show off her portfolio. She’d been prepping for it for what felt like months now.

In a move that might’ve surprised people, Alec softened her voice just a little. “You nervous?”

Clary didn’t try to deny it. She let out a soft sigh, and then she was stepping away from the armoire and over to the bed. Alec was far too used to it to flinch when the younger girl dropped down onto the bed with her. She just adjusted herself a little so that there was space for Clary to lay stretched out beside her. The two lay on their backs, staring up at the ceiling that they’d painted to look like a starry night when Alec moved in.

“What if they don’t like my stuff?” Clary asked quietly.

As much as she might try and play it off as nothing, Alec knew this was important to her. This was what Clary wanted with her mundane life – the life of an artist. It was what she’d been hoping to do for so long now it was hard for Alec to picture her doing anything else. And yet…

Alec knew that Jocelyn had plans for Clary once she hit eighteen and all the protections started to wear off. Plans to tell her the truth about who she was, about what the world was, and then present her with options. Would Clary still want to be an artist once she found out about the Shadow World? Would she stay out here with Alec and everyone else who mattered to her? Or would she and Jocelyn go back to the Institute and leave the rest of them behind?

Pushing away the fears that had been living with her ever since Alec realized that Jocelyn intended to tell her daughter the truth, Alec focused on the here and now. It was the only way she could keep going. “I think they’d be stupid to not like your stuff.”

Clary slid her hand over and caught Alec’s pinkie with her own. “Thanks, Alec.”

CXCX

While Alec was working her night shift, blissfully unaware of what was going on outside of the gym, everything else in her life seemed to go to hell all at once. It wasn’t until she was done with her shift, cleaned up, and gathering her things that she finally opened her phone and found all the missed calls. Message after message were waiting for her. Each one was worse than the last.

There were texts from Simon, who couldn’t find Clary anywhere. Texts from Dot that said _J missing, lay low_. One missed call from Clary that had a cheerful voicemail with Simon’s band playing in the background. And then a missed call from Simon just two minutes ago.

Alec swore roundly and grabbed her leather jacket from her locker. She was yanking it on while she hit the call button and shoved her phone between shoulder and ear.

Two rings later Simon was answering with a loud “ _Alec!_ ”

“Simon – what the hell is going on? What do you mean, Clary’s missing?” Alec didn’t bother wasting time with pleasantries or anything like that. Not when Clary was _missing_.

“ _I don’t know what the hell’s going on. We were working on the van down by that club – Pandemonium? And then Clary kind of, I don’t even know, she went a little weird. She was talking to the air and insisting someone was there. Then she chased them into the club. I went in with her, but now I can’t find her anywhere and she’s not answering her phone or anything like that and I…_ ”

Oh, Jesus. Alec took a second to closer her eyes and try to breathe. The instant Simon said that Clary was talking to the air, she knew. She knew what had to have happened. At least somewhat. The protections were wearing off far faster than any of them had thought they would. Clary was seeing the Shadow World.

That only made the fact that Simon couldn’t find her all the more important. Add in Dot’s message and this was really, _really_ bad.

Why did things like this have to happen on the night she wasn’t around? If she hadn’t had to work, she would’ve been there with Clary!

There wasn’t any time for recriminations. Alec gathered herself as best as she could and reached for the hardest parts of herself. The parts that she’d learned as a little girl and hadn’t really had to use in a long time. “Simon.” Alec packed every ounce of authority into that single word. She let it bleed into every part of her. It hardened her voice, straightened her spine, and gave her a sharp, purposeful walk as she made her way out of the gym. “I’m on my way to you, okay? Pandemonium isn’t that far from the gym. Stay put – _don’t_ go anywhere. I’ll find you when I get there.”

“ _Oh, God, thank you so much, Alec_.”

“Just hold tight, I’m on my way.”

The phone was shoved into her pocket, and her bag was strapped down to the back of her motorcycle. The urge to portal directly there was strong, but Dot had advised staying low, and for them that meant minimizing magic. Alec prayed as she climbed on her bike for Clary to just hold on, to please be okay. _Please, please, please be okay_.

CXCX

In no time at all Alec was at Pandemonium. Simon’s van was right out front, just like he’d said it was, and Alec parked her bike next to it.

Getting inside the club was easy. They weren’t usually Alec’s thing; she didn’t like the crowds or the amount of people who felt the need to try and talk to her. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t get in. Though, if it were up to her she’d be under glamour while searching in here.

As she felt the wards of the club wash over her, she realized that glamour might not be as much help as she thought it was. There were some mundanes in here, sure, but everywhere Alec looked she could see tons of different Downworlders.

No Shadowhunters, though.

Alec’s stomach clenched up a little at the thought of Shadowhunters being in here. Of them finding Clary. They were the only people Alec could think of that she’d be talking to. Warlocks didn’t glamour themselves invisible to mundanes. They typically just put up the glamour that hid the parts of them that were _different_. The same way Alec hid her own warlock mark. For Clary to have been talking to someone that Simon hadn’t seen, it had to be a Shadowhunter, and the only reason they’d be in a place like this that Alec could think of was to hunt a demon.

Her magic wasn’t sensing anything. Then again, with all the magic in the air it was no wonder.

Stretching up a little on the tips of her boots, Alec ran her eyes around the room, trying to spot any sign of bright red hair.

She couldn’t see any signs of Clary anywhere. But, as she looked, she saw something else that had her stopping for just a minute. Alec’s eyes caught on a woman across the dance floor and she swore she felt her mouth go dry. The woman stood out even amongst the unique clientele this place seemed to have. Eyes were drawn to her – how could they _not_ be? She was _gorgeous_.

Tall, maybe as tall as Alec or even _taller_ in those platform heels she was wearing. Her pants were tight at the waist and loose down the leg, and they were sparkling in the light. They had a light gray flat stone shape pattern ringed in a darker gray, all of it sparkling, and it was all held together by a what looked like silver chain swirled from ankle to waist in a figure eight pattern, over and over, on the outside of each leg. Through it, Alec could see hints of golden tanned skin.

The silver chain went up from the hip to wrap twice around the woman’s waist in more swirling figure eights, connecting to a silky black top that had three-quarter sleeves, and a thin black mesh strip right up the middle of her chest. Four elaborate silver straps went across the mesh, starting large at the bottom and ending in one small one at the top, right under her chin. Fringed shoulder pads were decorated with spikes at least a hand tall.

The woman’s hair was shaved on the sides and long on the top and back, gelled up into a perfect coif, streaks of silver and glittered threaded through. It matched the big square silver earrings that sparkled at her ears as well as the silver and black eyeliner.

She was a vision, and _oh_ , Alec _wanted_.

The hard jostle of a body into hers jolted Alec out of that brief moment of fantasy. Breaking away from the vision that woman made wasn’t easy. But Alec forced herself to turn away and start looking for Clary once more. She cursed herself as she began to move again. She wasn’t here right now to check out women! No matter how beautiful they were

Alec went from one end of the club to the next in an effort to find her friend. Not once did she catch sight of her, though she thought she did at one point. But it was just some other carrot-top woman who’d grinned at Alec’s attention and sent her a wink. _Gross._

While Alec couldn’t see Clary anywhere – and felt her panic growing with each moment she didn’t spot the girl – she _did_ finally catch sight of Simon over near the bar. They were too far apart for Alec to be able to shout to him. She groaned and began to make her way once more through the writhing mob of dancers.

She’d barely made it halfway across when someone dared enough to reach in past the others and cop a feel of her ass as she went past. The touch made Alec jump and had her spinning, a glare already on her face, only to collide with someone else in the process. The move almost sent the two of them down to the ground. It was only Alec’s quick reflexes, and a hand out for the other person, that kept them both from tumbling.

Alec looked up with an apology already on her lips only to find that, oh sweet _Raziel_ , she’d run right into the gorgeous goddess she’d been staring at earlier. _By the angel_! She was so not equipped for this.

The woman looked mildly annoyed for one split second, dark purple lips slipping into a slightly exaggerated pout, but then she blinked almost like she was surprised. Her eyes went wide, running over Alec from head to toe and back again. By the time they reached her face once more, any annoyance was gone. In its place was a suggestive smirk that was unfairly attractive. “Well now, _hello_ there.”

“I’m so sorry,” Alec blurted out. She was so grateful she didn’t actually start to stutter. She already heard enough from Clary about what a _disaster gay_ she was. She really didn’t need to go around proving the girl right. “I was just, I thought I saw my friend and I wasn’t, um, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The woman’s smile grew even more. She slid forward a little, hips moving somehow with the beat even with that small step, and leaned that much more into Alec’s space. One hand came up to lay on Alec’s bicep. Alec looked down at the dark purple nails, the silver rings, and then back up at the woman, whose smirk had only grown. “Oh trust me, it’s not a problem, darling. Not _at all_. Maybe I can keep you company while you wait for your friend?”

Hopefully the lighting in the club would keep the woman from seeing the color that flooded Alec’s cheeks. “I, ah, I mean, you don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense. Who would I be to turn down the company of a beautiful woman?” The hand on Alec’s arm gave a pat and then slid down, lingering for as long as possible before breaking away.

Whatever stammering nonsense of an answer Alec might’ve given was something they would thankfully never have to hear. Just over the woman’s shoulder, Alec caught sight of Simon once more, and all at once she was reminded of just why she was here. _Dammit, now is not the time to be flirting with beautiful women!_ She gave the gorgeous woman an apologetic look and gestured off into the crowd. “I uh, sorry, my friend’s right over there. I just…”

She almost tripped right into someone else, just barely catching herself. Cheeks flaming, Alec gave up on any semblance of dignity and turned to hurry off in the direction she’d just seen Simon.

She caught up to him at the edge of the bar where he was making his way over to the club’s entrance. “Simon!”

“Alec!” His whole face lit up at the sight of her. He froze, not caring about the others who bumped into him, and waited for her to catch up. “Man, am I glad to see you. I’ve been looking all over this place and I can’t find Clary anywhere!”

There was no way Alec could let on to Simon just how worried _she_ was. It would only serve to make him more panicked. They didn’t need that. Alec’s job was to watch out for these two and do her best to keep them safe. Not just Clary, but Simon, too. Sometimes that meant keeping things from either one of them that they might not appreciate. But it was one of those rare instances where Alec fully subscribed to the belief of _what they don’t know won’t hurt them._

“Calm down, Si.” Alec caught hold of his shoulder as soon as she reached him, giving him a comforting squeeze. Then she used that hold to turn him toward the exit and start steering him that direction. “I didn’t see her anywhere in here, either, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Where would she have gone? She wouldn’t just up and leave Maureen and I like that!” Simon insisted. He looked up at her in a pleading sort of way, like he wanted her reassurance that he was right, or maybe that he was wrong and didn’t have to worry.

Alec tugged a little on his shirt to get him out of the way of someone as they went out the door. The gesture barely even registered to either of them; she was far too used to ‘nerd wrangling’ to pay it any mind. “Who knows? Maybe Jocelyn called about something important. Or… maybe she met someone and sort of, lost track of the world around her. That happens sometimes.” Not that Alec would usually suggest that to Simon of all people. She wasn’t _cruel_.

The way he crumpled a little made Alec regret saying it. The words did the trick, though. Simon got too focused on the hurt he felt at the idea of Clary hooking up with someone else that he didn’t really focus on the improbability of it. “You think so?” he asked quietly.

Alec steeled herself so that her fear and guilt didn’t show through. “Wouldn’t be the first time. She’s eighteen, Si. What better way to celebrate your eighteenth than some random hookup?”

It was clear those words hurt even more, but she had to give Simon credit. He didn’t let it get him down too long. Though the humor was clearly forced, he offered her a teasing smile and tried to joke a little. “Is that what _you_ did?”

Alec rolled her eyes at him. She gave his shoulder a firm push, finally letting go of him now that the van was right in front of them. “Please. I don’t have time for things like that.”

“Come on, Alec! You’re a hot girl,” Simon gestured vaguely towards Alec’s body. He opened up the back of the van, reaching in to grab the coat that was sitting there. One of which was his; the other lying there looked like Clary’s. “I’m sure there are plenty of good-looking girls out there who’d love to take you home.”

A small sneer twisted Alec’s lips. At the same time, her eyes were caught on Clary’s jacket.

She had to work to make sure her movements were as casual as possible so that Simon wouldn’t suspect anything was off when Alec strolled up to the open back doors. She twisted herself around and sat down, right in front of the jacket and beside Simon’s legs. Then she made herself look forward toward the club. Not back toward the coat. “Yeah, right.”

As she’d expected, Simon twisted around to sit down beside her. Still, she _hadn’t_ expected the way he bumped their shoulders together, or the chiding look that he shot her. “What? I may not be into you, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind. Trust me – you’re _hot_.”

“I’m a taller than most guys I know, have more muscles than people think a girl should have, and I dress I in lot of leather,” Alec said dryly. She slanted a look over at Simon. “Trust me, I come off as _scary_ more often than I do _hot_.”

“Well, I mean, okay so you’re pretty scary sometimes. I have a healthy amount of fear for you which is totally equaled out by my love for you, so it works out great. But, I’m sure there’s some girl out there somewhere who’s gonna find all that really hot, and who’ll take the time to notice the softer, nice girl you are underneath.”

The honesty behind Simon’s words had a soft smile curving Alec’s lips. For a brief moment she found herself flashing on to the girl back in the club. The way she’d looked at Alec, the clear heat in her gaze afterward. She hadn’t seemed the least bit put off by Alec’s looks. Though, she hadn’t seen her without her jacket on. While Alec didn’t really have that much definition to her muscles, she had some, and that seemed to be a quick turnoff for some people.

Sighing, Alec shook her head. There was no point in thinking about a woman she was never going to see again. Especially not on a night like tonight when there were too many other important things going on.

Alec reached over to clap her hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Thanks, Si.”

The touch made him smile and relax a little more. It also had the added benefit of that, when Alec dropped her hand down, she was able to snag Clary’s jacket and drag it a little closer to the middle of them. There, she could keep her hand on it for a moment and discreetly extend just a little magic to try and see what she could find.

Whatever Simon said next was lost as Alec stretched out her magic and followed it down the trail between item and owner. It took a moment, and she met brief resistance, but her close ties to Clary – and a little boost of angelic power to help things along – got her through.

When Alec finally saw where it was that Clary was, she dropped the connection out of pure shock.

 _Raziel_. The _Institute_. Clary was at _the Institute_.

She’d been able to sense that the girl had been injured, but also that she was healing. What’d she’d seen had showed Clary sleeping. On her neck was a brand new iratze. Her very first rune, likely given without her knowledge if she was still sleeping. That had to mean some sort of demon attack. Alec cursed herself even more for not having been around when Clary was apparently attacked by fucking _demons_ of all things, but she also sent up a prayer of gratitude to Raziel for making sure she was okay.

This changed so many things. No, it changed _everything_. What Alec could do, what was going to happen next. Clary being there meant she was going to learn about everything now. No more secrets.

Was Jocelyn with her? Alec hadn’t seen her, but then again she’d barely held the connection. What had happened after Clary left the club? Did she go home? Did the Shadowhunter she’d run into here take her back to the Institute? Had a demon attacked her in the club? Dot’s message earlier had said _J missing_. Maybe that meant Jocelyn was with Clary.

So many questions and no real way to get any answers.

Alec needed to go. She needed to go to Jocelyn’s and see if anyone was there, see if Dot was around, or maybe call Luke to get some answers. That meant she had to get away from Simon first, though.

It took all of Alec’s acting skills to keep all of those thoughts from showing on her face. She had to hold tight to her control and hope that Simon saw nothing amiss when she smiled at him and said, “Why don’t you go on home, Simon? I’m sure we’ll hear from Clary soon enough. It’s late, though, and your Mom’s probably wondering where you are.”

The guilt Alec was feeling only grew strong when Simon just nodded and accepted her words. _Trusting_ her.

The two parted with a hug and a promise to talk the next day. Then, Alec waited only long enough for Simon to pull away before she got on her bike and sped out of there and off toward Jocelyn’s.

Throughout the whole drive over there Alec’s mind raced through all the possibilities of what could be happening and what this all might mean. For Clary, for Jocelyn, Dot, Luke. Her. Far too many questions were cropping up with little answers to any of them. Just thinking of them had her speeding up a little more.

By the time she got to Jocelyn’s, her mind was racing. What she found only made it worse.

Smoke. Fire.

The building was _on fire_.

Firetrucks were there on the scene putting out the blaze. Alec parked across the street and stared up in horror at the clouds of smoke and the flashing lights of the trucks as men and women fought to put out the fire.

She was just about to grab for her phone when she caught sight of a cop car and a familiar dark head amongst the crowd.

Alec straightened up and put her fingers to her lips, letting out a sharp whistle, followed by a cry of “Luke!”

More than one head turned her way. Alec couldn’t hide right now. Not if she wanted to be able to talk to Luke without making him look insane for talking to thin air. So she sat on her bike and tried to ignore the feeling of being exposed when multiple heads turned her way. Luke straightened up at the sight of her and immediately set off in her direction.

“Thank God you’re okay,” Luke breathed out as soon as he was close enough to be heard. “I tried calling but you didn’t answer.”

He came right up and pulled Alec into a tight hug. One that she briefly let herself lean in against for a moment. When they drew apart, however, she straightened herself back up, one hand resting on the handlebar of her bike while the rest of her turned toward Luke. “What in the angel’s name _happened_ here, Luke?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to find out. Best as I can tell, the blaze is only in the apartment. But it looks like someone broke in downstairs, too. They had the fire mostly put out until a brief flare-up happened. They’ve got it under control now. I won’t be able to go in and take a look at things until they’re done, though, which means tomorrow afternoon at the earliest.”

“Have you heard anything from Dot? Jocelyn?”

“Not yet. I had a few Circle members at the station earlier, though.” Luke’s eyes flashed with a hint of green at that. He was clearly worried and scared, just like she was. “It’s not looking good. You seen Clary?”

Alec shook her head. Before he could slump too much, she added on “I know where she is, though.” It hurt to see the way he lit up a little at that. He wasn’t going to like what she had to say next. “Simon called me and said Clary was talking to thin air, and then after they went inside the club chasing after this invisible person, she vanished and wasn’t even answering her phone. So, I tracked her. She’s at the Institute.”

A brief look of pain flashed over Luke’s face. Yet, he also closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh of relief. “She’s safe, then.”

“Is she really?” Alec couldn’t help but ask.

“Safer than she is out here, kiddo. The Circle members at the station, the apartment burning down, no word from Jocelyn or Dot – Clary’s better protected at an Institute full of Shadowhunters than she would be out here with us.” He let out another deep breath and then turned to look back across the street. For a moment Luke looked so much older than his years. His eyes, his bearing, even his voice, all spoke of someone who’d been through so much more than most people ever could imagine. “We have to assume the worst.”

“Valentine’s back, and he has Jocelyn.”

Her words had Luke’s head whipping back around. At his shocked look, Alec snorted.

“What, you didn’t think I’d figure that out?” she asked, sarcasm heavy on her words. “It wasn’t hard, Luke. I knew Jocelyn was hiding out from someone big. Who else in the Shadow World would she go to this much effort to hide from? I know my history. I’ve even got a pretty good guess what it is she’s hiding from him, too. Or, what _things_ she’s hiding.”

One of Luke’s hands shot out to cover her mouth. “Some things are better kept quiet, Alec.” When he was sure she’d stay quiet, he drew it away. “We didn’t keep it from you because we didn’t trust you. I told Joce we could. But, the less you knew the safer we figured you’d be.”

“And the less chance I might get captured and spill the beans.” Her words had him giving her a pained look, mouth open as if to protest, and she quickly waved him off. “I’m not arguing it. It’s smart. It’s just unfortunate for you guys that you didn’t take in someone stupid. I figured all this out ages ago. However, none of that’s important now. What’s important is that Dot’s in the wind doing something, Jocelyn’s nowhere to be seen, and Clary’s with the Shadowhunters.”

Whatever look was on Alec’s face had Luke standing up straighter. He narrowed his eyes at her with that parental look that he couldn’t quite seem to kick. Though it’d been Dot that had taken Alec in, Luke had never stopped looking out for her or caring for her like some sort of surrogate father. “Now wait just a minute. Alec, you need to stay out of this.”

 _Excuse me?_ Alec shot him an incredulous look. “Not fucking likely, Luke.”

“Don’t swear at me,” Luke said firmly. “If Clary’s at the Institute like you say, she’s in the safest place possible right now. We don’t know where Jocelyn or Dot are, or what might happen to you if you go looking for them. You need to find somewhere and lay low for a little while till we’re sure things are a bit more safe.”

“I’m not hiding!” As if that were even an option! “I’m not abandoning them.”

“At what risk to yourself?” Taking a step closer, Luke lowered his voice to one so soft she had to strain to hear. “This is a giant mess you need to stay out of. The Circle is dangerous enough, but even the Shadowhunters Clary’s around now… that can put you at one hell of a risk, kiddo.”

She knew what he meant. It was the same fear that was already eating away at Alec’s insides like acid. That didn’t mean she had to let it rule her, though. Sometimes there were more important things than fear. “I can’t walk away,” Alec said softly. She lifted both hands to spread them out, palms up. “I can’t.” Other words were locked in her throat. Ones that Alec wanted to say, yet couldn’t force out.

Judging by the way Luke’s expression gentled, she didn’t have to say them for him to understand. He took a step forward and pulled her into one more hug. Alec hugged him back, taking just a moment to rest with her face against his chest, a height she hadn’t been at for years now. With his arms around her it felt almost like she was a kid again.

“You check in with me, okay?” Luke murmured. He pressed a kiss against the crown of her head. “I don’t need both my daughters dropping off the face of the earth on me.”

 _Oh._ Alec sucked in a sharp breath. He’d never called her that before. The feeling had sort of been there between them for quite a while. Luke, in so many ways, was always going to be a sort of hero for her. The one who’d come back and found her in that park, convinced her he was trustworthy, taken her home, and then done everything possible over the next ten years to make sure she’d never had cause to doubt that trust.

Closing her eyes tight, Alec gave him an extra squeeze. “I will.”

When they pulled apart, she was grateful he didn’t say anything about how she turned away or the hand she brought up to quickly wipe off her cheeks. She had to clear her voice to speak, and even then there was a gruff layer there that she’d deny to her dying day. “I’ll, uh, I’ll call you once I know something.”

“You better. Don’t make me hunt you down.”

The playful threat drew a smile out of Alec. She flashed that grin and then brought her helmet up.

When she rode away, Luke was still there on the sidewalk watching her go.


	2. Chapter 2

It took well into the night and part of the next morning for Alec to finally be able to pin down Dot. The woman was keeping herself from being tracked pretty well, but Alec kept getting little glimpses, faint hints of a direction that would then change sides of the city completely. The best Alec could figure, Dot was portaling all over New York. Likely looking for Jocelyn or Clary.

The fact that her shielding wavered enough for Alec to track her was just a bit concerning.

Alec shamelessly turned her bike into an alley and used a portal to catch up to Dot. Thank the angel she did, too. She’d no sooner come out the other side and turned onto the street than she saw Dot getting ready to duck into a different alley, likely to portal once more.

In a move that would no doubt have Luke gritting his teeth and reminding Alec about _traffic laws_ , the young warlock whipped around one car and then another to get there quicker.

Either Dot sensed her magic, or she heard the familiar roar. Either way, she turned to look and caught sight of Alec in just enough time to step back so that Alec could pull into the alley. When Alec parked, Dot rushed forward, one hand already extended toward her. “What are you doing here? I told you to lay low, Alec! This isn’t laying low!”

“Hello to you too, Dot,” Alec said dryly. She pulled her helmet off, shaking her hair out behind her. Then she hung the helmet on the bike while she shot a look up at her friend. “What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?”

As she pushed up to her feet, swinging her leg over the bike to stand on solid ground, she took a moment to wave toward the entrance of the alley. A pulse of magic made sure no one would be able to see, hear, or track them while they were in here.

That done, it left Alec free to turn her glare back toward Dot. The woman looked exhausted. The bags under her eyes held the bruised look of too much work and not enough sleep. None of that even touched on how her magic felt. Now that Alec was close enough to sense it properly, her worry tripled. “Look at you. Your magic is _seriously_ depleted. Are you trying to make yourself as easy a target as possible?”

“I’m trying to find Clary!” Dot snapped at her.

“And you’re not just tracking her because…?”

“Because wherever she is, she’s shielded! I can’t get past it. Every time I try, the warding boots me back out.”

Her words had Alec pausing. That was… huh. Definitely something worth thinking about. _Later_. When life was a little less crazy. For now, Alec had to focus on the more important things.

She was about to tell Dot that she’d found Clary, and where she was, when the other woman squared up and gave her a chiding look. “Alec, I told you to lay low. There’s so much going on right now, it’s not safe for you to just be running around like normal.”

“Like that was ever going to happen,” Alec said, shaking her head. She moved to stand at Dot’s side and leaned back against the brick wall. “What happened?”

With a sigh, Dot moved to join her, leaning against the wall right at Alec’s side. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back until it was resting against the brick. Like this, Alec could really see just how tired the other woman was.

That was how Dot stayed as she explained to Alec everything that had happened. Clary rushing home, what she saw at the club – which matched up with some of what Alec had figured out – how she’d come rushing home afterward, and then the call from Magnus to warn them the Circle found them. Wiping at her face, Dot slumped just a little more. “We got Clary through a portal to Luke, and then Jocelyn and I tried to hold off the Circle members.”

They did _what_? “Why the hell didn’t you two go with her? If there was enough time to get her through a portal, there was enough time for you two to get out!”

Dot huffed out a breath and shook her head. She didn’t even call Alec out on snapping at her. Exhausted and frustrated, all she could do was agree. “I know, I know. But Jocelyn insisted they’d be safer apart, and I couldn’t just leave her alone. So we sent Clary to where she’d be safe.”

“And you two?” The message had said Jocelyn was missing. Dot was still here – thank the Angel – but things must not have gone the best if Jocelyn was gone.

“I don’t know. I tried to hold them off, but they managed to throw me out the window. If it weren’t for the protection spell on the necklace you gave me…” She paused, looking down and away. It meant she missed the pained look that flashed over Alec’s face at just how close she’d come to losing a woman who was like family to her. Then Dot sighed, and she looked back up at Alec. “As it was, I had to call Catarina. She got me out of there and healed enough to be okay. By the time I got back to the apartment, the whole place was up in flames and Jocelyn was gone. I checked in with Luke after and he said Clary never made it to him. I’ve been trying to track her signal all around the city ever since then.”

“She’s at the Institute.”

Those four words had Dot’s eyes going wide. She twisted herself to better look up at Alec, who looked a little like she was regretting just blurting that out. “What?”

“I’ve kept a low-level tracking spell on her for ages. She’s at the Institute.”

Dot slumped a little. “Oh, thank God.”

“Not really sure He had anything to do with it,” Alec said dryly. When Dot smacked her arm and glared, a grin curved Alec’s lips. Questions were already building in Dot’s eyes. Alec could see it. She hurried to try and give her the answers first. “Simon called me, said that Clary went missing at the club. I went to look for her, and when I didn’t find her there, I tracked her. She’s at the Institute. She had an iratze on her neck, but she’s okay.”

“You tracked her,” Dot said slowly, waiting for Alec’s nod before continuing. “To the Institute?”

“Yes.”

For a moment the other woman just stared at her. Then, to Alec’s confusion, she was smiling and shaking her head. It sounded like she mumbled something like “…gnus is gonna love this…” but then she was giving her head another shake, and her eyes were bright with humor when she looked up at Alec. “Okay, well. That changes things around, and it makes it a lot easier. With Clary there, she’s probably safer than anywhere out here right now. Jocelyn…” A brief flash of pain wiped away any humor on Dot’s face. “There’s nothing we can do for Jocelyn right now. Either she got out and she’s hiding, or she took the potion I left with her. In either case, they won’t be able to get anything out of her, and if she’s hiding I don’t want to lead anyone to her.”

“What potion did you give her?” Alec asked curiously.

A waved hand was her only answer. “Doesn’t matter. What matters right now is _you_.” She abruptly looked up once more and her eyes were dark with worry all over again. “Anyone who looks into Clary’s life is going to find you. They might come after you.”

“Yeah, Luke suggested the same thing.” Not that Alec was allowing herself to be worried about it. She’d defend herself if anyone came after her. There was no way she’d let any Circle members take her in. Especially not with who – or better yet, _what_ – she was.

“We need to go to ground somewhere. Figure out what our next step should be.”

That was probably a good idea. Somewhere that Dot could rest, heal up a little, and they could get the chance to talk a bit more. Maybe if they had a little time to wrap their brains around all of this, they might be able to put their heads together and come up with some sort of plan. Something that they could do. Because whenever Clary woke up, she was going to try and find them. Alec had no doubt about that. And when she did, they needed to be prepared.

“We could go to my place,” Alec suggested. Her place was well warded. At the moment, it was probably the safest place she knew of.

Dot shook her head, though. “No. If they found us past our wards at the apartment, we can’t trust they didn’t find yours. No, we need to go to Magnus. She’s the only person I know that’s strong enough to help keep us hidden. At least for a day or two.”

Years and years in Dot’s care meant this wasn’t the first time Alec had heard that name. She’d known it even before she’d known Dot. Over the past ten years Dot had done her best to try and convince Alec more than once to let her tell Magnus about her beyond just having a new student. She always insisted that if there was anyone who would be able to help her with the unique quirks that came with Alec’s powers and physiology, it’d be their High Warlock.

Up until now, Alec had always insisted that she didn’t need anyone else’s help. Dot was enough help for her.

Clearly, that wasn’t the case anymore. Dot was tired, Alec had never gone up against the Circle before, and their whole life had been turned upside-down. Maybe it was finally time to let someone else step in and help.

* * *

Accepting that they needed help didn’t mean it was any easier for Alec to go and do it. Even more so when the person they were going to see someone who would have a better chance than most at figuring out who Alec really was. If this Magnus person remembered Shadowhunters coming to her a decade ago asking for help in finding a missing girl, there was a chance she might match that up to Alec. More so once she looked at Alec’s face.

Alec wasn’t blind to her looks. Despite not seeing the physical appeal in them, she could still look at herself and see traces of her mother or her sister there. Anyone who knew her family likely would be able to easily place her as one of them. There wasn’t a lot Alec could do to hide that, either. Or, well, there _was_ , she just wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to do it…. And even if she did, there was no guarantee it would be enough of a distraction to work.

She weighed her options carefully on the drive over to where Dot had said the woman lived. Since Magnus wasn’t answering her phone, they were driving over to see her.

Alec could go a couple different ways here. She could go in as she was and hope for the best. Maybe the High Warlock wouldn’t recognize her, and they could just get her help and then leave without anyone being any the wiser. Two, she could be honest the way Dot seemed to insist she could be, and hope that it wasn’t some giant mistake. Or, option three, Alec could pull off her glamour around someone for the first time since she’d learned how to put it up and let that work to hide her.

The most logical option in Alec’s brain was to use her warlock mark as a way to hide her heritage. It was still the same size it’d always been---her left eye, ear, and the left side of her neck were still that same deep, dark black. It would definitely draw attention away from the rest of her face. If Alec left that out, there was a much better chance that she wouldn’t be recognized.

But…

Alec had kept her glamour up almost constantly since she’d learned how to do it. Not just around others but in private as well. She didn’t like looking at that part of herself. Didn’t like being confronted with the physical manifestation of the changes she’d undergone. More than that, her mark always left Alec feeling like she was more demon than human, and it put a twisting, sick feeling down low in her stomach. She was marked with what looked very much like demon skin. Seeing it terrified her.

By the time the two of them arrived at the building Dot had directed her to, Alec still hadn’t made up her mind.

Even as Dot got off the back of the motorcycle, Alec stayed where she was, her mind caught up in a loop.

Dot realized almost instantly that there was something bothering her. Alec was just sitting there, helmet still on, looking up at the building with what would be an expression of pure fear if the helmet wasn’t blocking it.

Reaching out, Dot curled her hand over Alec’s arm, making the younger woman jump. “What is it?” Dot asked gently.

Biting her lip, Alec hesitated, not sure what to say or do. What was the right choice?

The hand on her arm gave a squeeze that drew her focus back to her friend. “Alec?”

“I don’t…” Alec hesitated. How did she say this? She gripped tighter to the handles for a moment. Hard enough to make her knuckles strain a little from the pressure. “What if she recognizes me?”

The question was asked so softly it was a wonder Dot even heard her. Yet, she clearly did. She took a step toward Alec, and the worried lines on her face softened into something a whole lot gentler. It reminded Alec of the look she wore sometimes when Alec had still been young and nightmares plagued her nights. She didn’t outright dismiss Alec’s fears or treat them like they were foolish. Instead, Dot brought her other hand up, cupping the side of the helmet the same way she would Alec’s face. “I trust her. She’d never betray your secret, sweetheart.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” Alec whispered, though it was hard to keep admitting this fear. This was the closest she’d come to showing weakness around people. Dot wasn’t just _people_ , though. She was one of Alec’s closest friends. Hell, she was almost like family. And she’d seen Alec through a whole lot worse.

Dot smiled at her. “Yes, I can be.”

The idea of going up there as she was and letting this Magnus woman see her, potentially see this part of her, was terrifying. Alec had spent so long hiding from that part of herself. The few that knew the truth never really brought it up. They treated her just like Alec. Not like a Shadowhunter. Not like a freak.

 _This isn’t about you_ , she reminded herself. This was about Clary, and Jocelyn, and the Circle. Right now, those things were far more important. What was her own secret in the face of those ones?

Reminding herself of that helped. Resolve straightened Alec’s spine. It gave her the courage to reach up and take her helmet off, and to rise to stand at Dot’s side. She didn’t have to say anything—Dot could see the decision written all over her face.

Together, the two women made their way toward the front of the building.

Dot walked right up to the buzzer and pressed her palm against the side of it, completely ignoring the button. Instead, she held her hand there and pushed out a bit of magic, and the door just gave a quiet buzz and opened. Dot grinned at Alec’s surprised look. “Magnus has some pretty intricate wards on her building. No one gets in here without her knowing about it. Normally I’d just portal right in upstairs, but…” she trailed not, not saying what they both knew. She was too drained for that right now. “Either way, she’s got a system set up for those who know her to come and visit without disturbing her. A little magic to verify who I am, and we can go right on up.”

Alec nodded at the idea of it. She could already sort of see how that might be done, even, and resolved to think about it later. For the moment, she followed after Dot as they went through the lobby and into the elevator.

Their ride went all the way up to the top floor. The penthouse suite. Of course that was where the woman lived. Why wouldn’t the High Warlock live in a penthouse suite? Alec was a bit more surprised she didn’t live in a classier looking building.

When the doors opened and let them out into the hallway, Dot made straight for the set of double black doors just up ahead. She had no hesitation in going right up and knocking.

Alec followed slower, her earlier reluctance coming back to her. Was this really a good idea? Just, walking in there like this and letting the woman make whatever assumptions she might? _There’s every chance she won’t make the connection_ , Alec reminded herself. Unfortunately, she didn’t believe herself. Between her mother’s Trueblood looks that clearly showed in Alec’s face, coloring, and hair, and then her name, the chances that this woman might not make the connection were pretty small. Especially if she was as good as Dot claimed she was.

Over and over Alec reminded herself that this wasn’t about her. She was doing this for Clary. For _Clary_. It helped keep her going, and it helped to keep her from running away when the doors opened.

Alec forgot all about her fears for a moment as the gorgeous goddess from the club the other night was revealed at the door, a bright yet annoyed look on her face. “Dorthea! Well now, this is quite the surprise. I wasn’t expecting you.” And then her eyes drifted away from Dot and back to where Alec was still standing beside her, and Alec got to watch up close as the woman’s eyes went wide. Then all at once her whole face lit up with an expression of pure delight. “If it isn’t my leather Cinderella!”

Blessed Angel, _this_ was Magnus??

She looked even more beautiful than the last time Alec had seen her. In tight black high waisted pants with black suspenders over a dark red shirt, and paired with an even darker red jacket that was detailed in black lace, she was a vision. Her hair was in what looked almost like a short, curly mohawk with hints of red in the curls. Standing there with the late morning light behind her, and a drink in her hand, she was a vision. One that had Alec slightly tongue-tied.

Not so much Dot. She turned around to shoot Alec a curious look. “Leather Cinderella?”

Color flooded Alec’s cheeks. “ _Dorthea_ ,” she hissed back venomously.

Magnus ignored the byplay between them and just kept smiling as she let her eyes run over Alec – and, yes, all the leather she was wearing. Between the chaps, jacket, and gloves she usually wore while riding, she was definitely wearing a lot of it. “Oh, yes. She fell right into my arms, and then dashed off without even leaving her name,” Magnus explained. The smirk she wore was only partially hidden by her glass when she lifted it to take a drink. “Terribly rude, if you ask me. Though I’m quite happy to see that rectified now.”

Her expectant look had Alec swallowing back what would’ve no doubt been a rather embarrassing stutter. “You didn’t exactly give me your name, either.”

The way that Magnus grinned at that relaxed Alec a little more even as it set butterflies twisting through her stomach. “You’re quite right. Where _have_ my manners gone?” She took a step forward and held her hand out to Alec, waiting for her to take it before she bowed down and actually _kissed the back of Alec’s hand_. “Magnus Bane, at your service.”

Alec knew she was blushing – she just _knew_ it! – and Dot was going to give her so much hell for it later. But what else could Alec do? She looked down into those sparkling eyes and knew she was screwed. “I, ah, I’m Alec.” The sound of Dot clearing her throat beside them reminded Alec that they weren’t alone, and they were also here with a purpose. One that was kind of important. Her flush deepened and she quickly drew her hand back. “Um, we actually had a reason for coming here today.”

A fake pout touched Magnus’ lips. She drew her hand back in and pressed it over her heart. “Ah, straight to business. Well then, come in, come in. I find it better not to discuss business in the hallway. Less chance of nosey neighbors listening in.”

“Magnus, you don’t have any neighbors on this floor, nosey or otherwise,” Dot pointed out. Still, she followed Magnus in, though not without shooting Alec a wink behind the woman’s back.

The glare Alec gave back was murderous.

Dot didn’t hesitate to use her magic to shut the door behind them once they were inside. Then she turned and looked right at Magnus to bluntly declare, “Magnus, I hate to do this, but we need your help.”

The casual use of magic had clearly caught Magnus’ attention. She watched it happen with only a raised eyebrow to mark it. Then her focus was on gesturing them further into the rather fancy looking loft. Everywhere Alec looked, there were dark woods, blacks and reds, and some rather interesting pieces of furniture, along with very few knickknacks. Her home didn’t really feel like a _home_. More like an office. It didn’t really suit what Alec had seen of Magnus so far.

While Alec was looking around, Magnus had walked up to a comfortable looking dark blue chair. With an elegant spin, she sank smoothly down in it, one leg crossing over the other. “What is it you think I can do for you, Dorthea?”

“You could start by not calling me Dorthea,” Dot said dryly. The way she waved her hand afterward made it clear she didn’t expect that to be listened to, though. Grabbing hold of Alec’s arm, Dot brought her forward to the couch nearest Magnus and tugged her down to sit with her. Then Dot looked right at Magnus and leaned forward, arms resting on her thighs. “You were right – the Circle’s back. They took Jocelyn, and Clary was attacked. She’s at the Institute.”

If she expected her words to be a surprise, she was disappointed. Not even a flutter passed over Magnus’ face. If anything, she looked _bored_.

“Yes, yes, I’ve been made aware of that,” Magnus said with an absent wave of her drink. “I fail to see what it is you think I’m going to be able to do about it.”

Huffing a little, Dot shook her head, her hands twitching nervously against one another. “No, I don’t… I’m sorry. I don’t want you to do anything about that. Really. You’ve already done so much, Magnus. What I was hoping you might be able to do is help with a place for us to stay, just for a night, so we can recover a little bit. I don’t trust going to Alec’s place, and right now…” She sighed a little and spread her hands out while letting her magic pulse weakly under her skin. “I wouldn’t have enough magic to stand up against much of anything, really.”

Some of the coolness had faded off of Magnus’ face. She was looking at Dot with a little more concern. Enough for Alec to see that she honestly did care underneath the mask she was wearing. “You’ve almost depleted yourself, darling. Are you all right?”

“I spent a lot of time portaling around the city to try and figure out where Clary went.”

“You should be more careful. If anyone were to come across you right now, you’d be an easy target. And if Circle members are afoot, that’s not something any of us can afford to be.”

“Which is why we’re trying to find somewhere to lay low for a little while. I didn’t know where else to go for help with that,” Dot said softly. She drew her hands back in and clasped them together.

For a moment Alec felt kind of like an outsider sitting and watching these two talk. It was clear they had a friendship that spanned quite a few years. One that was close enough that they were able to have part of this conversation without actually saying words. Alec knew she was missing a few things. Things that were private between them.

After a long moment of silent communication Magnus turned her attention back to Alec. Having those sharp eyes pinning her in place was almost enough to have Alec wanting to squirm. She kept still – barely.

“And what about you, pretty girl? What’s your role in all this?” Magnus asked curiously.

Dot answered before Alec could. “She’s my student.”

“Is that so?”

The slight twist to that question, the way that Magnus’ eyes ran over her – not appreciating, this time, but assessing, calculating – told Alec all she needed to know. She might not have the silent language that these two had to speak to one another with, but she knew how to read some body language, and she knew without even having to ask that Magnus had figured it out. The one thing that Alec had been afraid of, and Magnus had done it. She knew exactly who Alec was.

Now Alec had to decide – did she let Magnus think she was just a Shadowhunter, or did she let her know that she was something more?

The decision that had been nagging at her throughout the whole trip was one she made in a split second as her and Magnus met eyes. Alec took a breath and gave away the secret she’d sworn to keep when she’d settled into her new life.

Some things were better done with actions than with words. Alec lifted one hand and flicked her middle finger against her thumb, twisting her hand as she went. A small ball of magic formed to life in her palm. At the same time, she used her magic to press against her rune from the inside, something that she’d never even told Dot she could do, and she dissolved the Shadowhunter glamour that kept her runes hidden. The magical one still hid her mark. But now her runes were on as clear display as the magic in her hand.

If the situation hadn’t been so dangerous it might’ve been funny to watch the way that Magnus’ eyes went wide. Her drink was set down with a hard thump on the arm of her chair. “Oh, _my_.”

“You see why it’s important we find somewhere to hide?” Dot said, leaning in a little more again. Her tone was much more earnest now.

Magnus wasn’t listening to her, though. She was still staring at Alec. “You’re Alexandra Lightwood.”

That was a name that Alec hadn’t heard in a long time. Though she knew Magnus wasn’t actually asking, she still said, “Yes, I am.” It felt good to be able to admit it out loud. To acknowledge the part of herself she’d had to keep hidden for so long. Though Alec didn’t regret the life she had, knowing that it was safer than the one she would’ve had if she’d stayed, she missed being able to be that part of herself. To be _all_ of herself.

“And you’re a warlock. How…”

“We don’t know.” Alec looked over at Dot here, and then back to Magnus. She banished the magic from her hand. There was no more need for it. With her hands free, though, it left her folding them sort of awkwardly in her lap. This wasn’t an easy subject for her, and she really didn’t want to have to spill out her life story. But they needed Magnus’ help. “I woke up one night when I was ten and almost tore apart my room at the Institute with my magic. It… wasn’t pleasant.”

Magnus blinked a few times like she was trying to process what Alec was saying. Sitting back in her seat, she stared, one hand coming up so that she could stroke a painted nail against her chin. “No, I imagine it wasn’t. For your powers to be suppressed like that…”

“Either someone did it, or for some reason the angel blood overpowered the demon blood for a while,” Alec filled in. The first was more likely, she knew. But the second… the second explained the way the magic and mark had burned into her that night. How her body had felt like it was burning into ash. Though it didn’t explain how she’d managed to survive with both inside her for _that_ long.

Quiet fell over the room for the next few minutes. The air was heavy with what they’d just put out into it. What Dot had asked, it’d just become so much more. It wasn’t just a simple matter of hiding two warlocks. This was hiding a warlock and the very type of person that the Circle might love to get their hands on. A Shadowhunter who survived having demon blood? It was supposed to be impossible. Valentine with all his experiments had never been able to manage it. Yet here Alec was, living proof that it could happen. If the wrong person got their hands on her, it could spell danger for the whole of the Shadow world.

All at once Magnus spoke again, startling the other two. Her voice was much more professional sounding. She’d lost the flirty, casual edge to it. “I’ve had a few reports today of problems with warlocks. Some that appear to have gone missing, and one who was attacked by Circle members but saved by a werewolf. I was already planning on getting the warlocks together in a fully warded safehouse. I can take you both there with me.”

“We don’t need somewhere to permanently hide. Or even long term,” Alec said. She wasn’t going to get stuck in some house behind wards where she couldn’t get out. Not when there was every chance that Clary was going to call her as soon as she was awake. She had to be there for the girl. Even if Clary hated her once she found out the truth. Alec still had to try and be there for her.

The way that Magnus was looking at her said that she’d caught there was more to this than Alec was saying. Yet she didn’t press on it. She just nodded. “I’ll take you out myself when you’re ready to go.”

Dot reached over to catch Alec’s hand in hers. At the same time, she smiled broadly at Magnus. “Thank you, Magnus. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, darling.” A smirk lit up Magnus’ face once more. She picked up her glass again and winked at them over the top of it. “I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn – I’m just doing my job.”


	3. Chapter 3

To Alec’s surprise, they didn’t stay there at the loft while Magnus did whatever it was she needed to do. Instead, Magnus sent out a slew of fire letters and then portaled them directly to the club where Alec had first met her. It was empty, of course, being midday. Walking through it felt so strange. Without the bright lights and pulsing music and all those bodies writhing around one another it gave the place a much weirder feel.

Magnus looked over at Alec once the portal closed and she winked at the girl. “Look, the sight of our first date.”

Though a small part of Alec still felt off kilter at such a beautiful woman flirting with her, this wasn’t exactly Alec’s first time dealing with flirting. Nor was it her first time around such a bold personality. Instead of blushing, as Magnus likely expected, Alec arched one eyebrow at her. “Ambitious, are we? You didn’t even buy me a drink.”

The delighted way that Magnus lit up at Alec’s teasing made it well worth fighting back her natural shyness. While Magnus had flustered her so far – and Alec had no doubt she would continue to do so for quite some time – it wasn’t in Alec’s nature to just be passive. She might not be experienced at flirting but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to talk at all. Her humor just didn’t usually go over all that well with other people.

A snap of Magnus’ fingers had a drink floating in the air in front of Alec. At Alec’s dry look, the woman just grinned. “To the start of a much better second date, yes?”

“I still haven’t agreed that the first one even happened,” Alec pointed out. “Besides, I think we’re a little crowded for a second date.” That didn’t stop her from reaching out to take the drink, though. She wasn’t really a drinker, but she didn’t mind the warm burn of alcohol now and again. Dot had never held to things like current legal drinking ages. Alec had been drinking wine and other things with her at dinner or late at night for years now. Besides, if there was ever a time to start drinking, now was it.

Off to the side Dot gave a soft huff. “Oh, don’t mind me. I can go curl up and nap somewhere if you two want a little _alone time_.”

One thing that people probably didn’t realize at first glance was that Dot was a shameless meddler. She was also a giant _brat_. When Alec tried to glare at her, the woman just grinned, and Magnus’ own grin grew wider in response. “What a lovely idea, Dorthea! My wards are still up here, so we’re quite safe. You’re more than welcome to make use of the couch in my office. Once the other warlocks start showing up, I’ll send Alec or someone to come and wake you.”

 _Don’t you dare leave me here,_ Alec wanted to snap at her friend. For all that she was having fun flirting with Magnus it didn’t mean she was ready to be alone with the woman.

Dot smiled brightly like she couldn’t see Alec plotting murder with her eyes. “I think I’ll take you up on that, Magnus. Thanks.” Then she gave a little wave and walked away.

Oh, Alec was going to get her back for this. She was _so_ going to get her back for this! How, she wasn’t quite sure yet, but she would. Somehow.

Magnus turned around before Dot was even halfway across the room. She took a step to bring her that much closer into Alec’s space, and her expression shifted from teasing to just a bit sultry. Even without the extra glitter she’d had on before, or the pulsing lights and that club atmosphere around her, there was an air of something beautiful to her. Something ethereal. Like she really was the goddess Alec had first thought of her as. It was easy to picture her sitting up on her throne taking tribute from all the people come to worship her. To picture herself there as well…

The train of her thoughts had Alec ducking her head a little and trying to hide her blush by taking a drink from whatever it was Magnus had conjured up for her.

She regretted it almost instantly. The drink was so much stronger than what she usually preferred.

Her grimace must’ve been noticeable. Magnus’ lips quirked upward, and her eyes pinched up with her barely repressed smile. “Not a fan?”

“I usually prefer something that couldn’t double as gasoline for my bike,” Alec said dryly. A second later she realized that was a little more rude than she probably should have been.

Luckily, Magnus didn’t seem all that bothered by it. In fact, she tilted her head back and laughed out loud. “Well, we’ll just have to find something you do like.” Reaching out, she curled her hand in Alec’s arm and gave her a tug in the direction of the bar. This close, and with the heels she wore, it put her at about the same height as Alec, maybe an inch shorter. “Come on. I’ll make you something to drink and you can tell me a little about yourself. I’d love to hear what it was like to grow up with Dorthea as a teacher. I’ve never actually met a student of hers. Is she a good teacher? I always pictured her as the sort of laid-back kind.” Magnus’ grin turned a bit devilish. She tilted her face up toward Alec a little. “She was a hippie back in the sixties, you know.”

The thought of Dot as a hippie…really wasn’t that big of a leap. Alec could see it. Her own smile grew a little as she pictured Dot in the outfits and such she’d learned about during history class. Mundane high school might’ve been mostly boring, and weird, but it’d left her with some random useful things. She just hadn’t ever thought this would be one of them. “I can see that.”

When they got to the bar, Magnus gestured for Alec to take a seat and then hopped up onto the bar and spun her legs around until she could drop down on the other side. She folded her arms on top the bar and leaned on them so that she was right up in Alec’s space. “All right, before we get into any of those stories, let’s see if we can find out your drink. Do you have any favorites?”

Alec thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. She slipped down onto the stool, which had a nice little bonus of making her just a bit shorter than Magnus. It meant she could look up at her and enjoy that bright face turned her way. “Not really. I like a good wine now and again. Um, Dot makes this cinnamon and apple drink sometimes, but I don’t know what goes in it.”

“I know exactly the drink you’re talking about, and you have excellent taste, darling.” The words were accompanied by a wink. “We’ll start there and branch out a little, see if we can find the one that’s just right. In the meantime – stories! I feel like I got all your dirty secrets right up front, but none of the good stuff.”

“The _good stuff_?”

Magnus reached back to grab a few bottles from behind her, and then a couple glasses from under the bar. She looked up at Alec and her eyes twinkled a little with just a faint hint of magic. “Oh yes. I want to hear all about life as Alexandra. What you do, how on earth Dot has kept you hidden from me all these years. If you’re single. You know – the important things.”

The urge to laugh was tickling at Alec’s throat. She’d never met someone who was quite so brazen as Magnus was. In a strange sort of way, it was refreshing. There was no doubt in Alec’s mind that Magnus was both flirting with her _and_ probing for information all at the same time. She just happened to combine the two rather well. She also managed to put Alec a little more at ease while she did it.

What harm would come of telling Magnus a few simple things? The biggest secret Alec had was already out there. It wasn’t like she carried any other deep, dark secrets. At least, not her own. And from the sounds of things Magnus was more than aware of those ones, too.

The idea of talking to someone who already knew her secrets was kind of… invigorating.

“I’m not really anything exciting,” Alec said, reaching out to set down her previous drink a little way away on the bar. She drew her arm back in and shifted around to get more comfortable on the bar stool. “I mostly spend my time at home or wherever Clary and Simon drag me to. I work a few mornings each week teaching a children’s martial arts class, and then usually I do some sparring afterward with some of the adults. Other than that, my life is pretty boring.”

“You teach martial arts to children? I thought only the nephilim were after making child soldiers.” Magnus looked surprised by the idea. She was adding a few different things to a metal shaker, watching Alec more than she was watching what she was doing, a skill that Alec was trying not to be impressed by.

Alec shrugged one shoulder. Bringing her arms up, she folded them on the bar and rested her weight there while she watched Magnus work. “They’re not training the way Shadowhunters do. I’m not teaching them to kill anything. It’s more about form, technique, and discipline. Most of the kids in my class are troubled kids. The ones who need an outlet, or some kind of sense of structure or control over themselves or their lives. Learning martial arts does that.”

Clearly that wasn’t quite what Magnus had expected as an answer. She gave a soft, thoughtful hum while she shook together whatever drink it was she was making for Alec.

The air seemed a little charged with a different feeling; one that hadn’t been there moments ago. Alec wasn’t quite sure what it was. Only that it had Magnus looking at her in a way that was a bit more _real_ than the previous looks.

Then it all melted away as the woman finished making a drink. She lit up as she poured the bright yellow mixture into the glass and then garnished it with a cherry. “There, try this!”

What it was she’d made wasn’t… bad. There was a hint of something orange, and a bit of what Alec was pretty sure was white wine. She tilted her head and hummed a little while rolling the flavor around on her tongue. “Interesting,” was the final verdict.

It didn’t deter Magnus. “Good thing we’ve got time and plenty of alcohol,” she said teasingly. “Now, I’ll go about making the next drink. _You_ , start telling me those stories we were talking about. I want all the gossip on Dot as a teacher.”

They were moving back onto safer ground now. Though Alec didn’t understand what had happened, she knew something about her job had gotten to Magnus, at least a little. What, she wasn’t sure. But she had no problem going with the subject change. Talking about Dot was easy. “I could tell you about the time that she tried to teach me how to summon clothes actually onto my body instead of just to me and didn’t realize just how quickly I’d picked it up. Or how long I played her.”

Alec grinned while Magnus started to laugh, the sound low and just a bit husky, sending shivers down Alec’s spine. “Yes, please,” Magnus said easily.

Still grinning, Alec shamelessly threw her friend under the bus. She’d consider it repayment for the way Dot had deliberately abandoned her out here.

* * *

Spending time with Magnus was easier than Alec had expected it to be. They spent quite a while just talking with one another and sipping off the multitude of cocktails that Magnus had made. Alec had eventually been forced to stop the other woman when seven different drinks sat on the bar top. In the end, they took turns sharing them, and continued their stories.

For the most part they stuck to pretty normal things. Work, both hers as an instructor and Magnus as High Warlock, and stories about Dot or their other friends. Alec got to hear about Catarina, who Dot talked about often enough, and Ragnor.

But not once did Magnus bring up the giant elephant in the room. Alec put up with it for almost an hour. At that point, her natural bluntness won out, and she fixed Magnus with a steady stare across the bar. “Why haven’t you asked me any questions about who I am?”

“I know who you are,” Magnus said easily, shrugging one shoulder. She was leaning forward again, one arm on the bar, hand on the opposite elbow, and her other hand holding some purple smoky drink in front of her lips.

Alec sat and stared for a moment, sure there was more. There _had_ to be more. Knowing who and _what_ she was – it couldn’t be just that simple.

When it was clear that Alec was still waiting, that she was going to keep waiting, Magnus lowered her drink down and set it on the bar. Then she reached out and startled Alec by taking hold of one of her hands. Alec stared down at it for a moment, taking in the differences in an absent sort of way. Her hand was so much larger than Magnus’. The both of them bore scars on their knuckles, even one along the side of Magnus’ thumb, but whereas Magnus’ hand still looked strong yet delicate, Alec’s just looked… sturdy.

Her gaze was drawn back upward when Magnus cleared her throat. Alec found herself captivated by the dark eyes that locked right on hers. There wasn’t any teasing on Magnus’ face in that moment. No jokes, no smirk, just a seriousness that seemed so strangely out of place for a conversation between two people who barely knew one another.

“I know who you are,” Magnus repeated. Her words were sure and steady, not a hint of teasing or doubt anywhere in them. “Or, at least, I’m learning. Maybe I don’t have the best history with one part of you but that doesn’t mean I’m going to have trouble with _you,_ Alexandra _._ We’re not responsible for the sins of those who made us.” The way Magnus said those words – _we’re, us –_ made it clear she meant more than just Alec’s Shadowhunter side.

In a way, she almost looked like was telling herself almost as much as she was telling Alec.

Alec couldn’t bring herself to keep staring at Magnus’ so-serious eyes. Instead, she dropped her own gaze back down to their hands once more. For a moment she just let herself stare, taking in all the little things. The warmth of Magnus’ skin, the clearly manicured and painted nails, the jewelry, all of it making her shine against the plainness of Alec’s simple pale hand.

It was easier to speak when she was looking down like that. She didn’t have to see whatever look crossed Magnus’ face when she did. “I’ve spent most of my life hiding from that part of myself. Knowing that if people knew...” She cut herself off there. It hurt, to think of all those nights she’d laid in her bed and thought about what would happen if a Shadowhunter ever found her. What she would do. What _they_ would do.

Abruptly she realized that this was awfully heavy conversation to be dumping on someone she’d pretty much just met. Blush colored Alec’s cheeks, and she tried to draw her hand back. “I’m sorry. You and I barely know one another, and here I am, unloading my insecurities on you.”

Magnus curled her fingers in so that Alec couldn’t tug her hand away. The gesture had Alec sneaking a look upwards. She found Magnus watching her with a faint smile. “I don’t mind. I imagine things are a little bit terrifying right now, and from what I’ve seen so far, you seem more like the type to worry about others. Not yourself.”

That was… unsettlingly accurate. Alec looked down and away, which only served to make Magnus chuckle at her.

Alec was saved from having to figure out a reply by the feel of a few warlocks arriving just outside the building’s wards. The two women drew their hands back from one another at the same time. Magnus used one hand and a small flare of magic to get rid of the row of drinks. “Back to business, I suppose,” she said easily. The same expression of amusement that she’d worn when Alec and Dot had first showed up at her door – a mask that Alec hadn’t realized at the time was a mask – was drawn back over her features.

By the time Magnus straightened up from the bar, she was back to being the High Warlock once more.

“Why don’t you go wake up our dearest Dot?” Magnus suggested. “I believe I have a few new guests to greet, and a portal to get ready to make.”

Alec recognized a dismissal when she saw one. Maybe it was one they both needed, too. The time for whatever weird flirting thing they’d been sharing was over. Now it was time to get back to the important things – the Circle coming, warlocks at risk, and a whole other slew of problems waiting to come banging on their door.

Still, when Alec pushed up from her seat she felt a small pang of disappointment for the loss of the easy, comfortable air that had wrapped around them. For a minute she’d felt sort of like any other girl in a bar, lucky enough to be talking to the prettiest girl around.

* * *

The night got busier and busier from that moment on. Alec didn’t see much of Magnus. Not when she was too busy trying to cope with their change in circumstances. Within two hours enough warlocks had showed up that Magnus finally opened up the portal and started to send them through. Alec and Dot were amongst some of the first to go.

Alec wasn’t sure what she was expecting when they came out the other side. Dot apparently knew, which was how she was able to lead them through, along with a group of warlocks who’d all joined hands to stay connected with them. From the sounds of it, Dot was going to go back and forth a few times to lead people over. There was no portal travel without someone knowing where they were going. That was one of the first things Dot had taught her about a portal. Never go in without either a destination in mind, or a firm grip on someone who did.

Unfortunately, that meant that she pretty much had to abandon Alec there with a group of warlocks who had no idea who she was, in a house she’d never been in.

It wasn’t exactly Alec’s idea of a good time.

“The place has about fifteen different bedrooms,” Dot told them before she went back. “Not enough for us all, but a lot easier for us to ward. We’ll see about getting organized as soon as we get everyone here. For now, just spread out and make yourselves at home. You guys know Magnus won’t mind.”

With that, she was gone, and Alec was left standing with seven other warlocks. All of whom seemed to know one another in some way or another. And none of them looked relaxed at the idea of seeing Alec.

 _At least I put my glamour back on,_ Alec thought to herself. Just the thought of what these people might think if she’d showed up here with runes on her skin was almost enough to have her snorting. She had a feeling they either wouldn’t be here at all, or she’d be dead. Neither option was a good one.

No matter Magnus’ pretty words back at the bar, there wasn’t any doubt in Alec’s mind that blood _did_ matter. At least in this. While yes, it wasn’t fair to judge a warlock on their demon parent, having a parent who was a Shadowhunter was something she doubted many warlocks would be able to look past. Or forgive.

Instead of trying to force herself on a group of people who were obviously close, and just as obviously worried, Alec chose instead to retreat a little. Dot had said they could make themselves at home here. Alec chose to do that by slipping away to the nearby hallway, trying to ignore the curious looks that were directed at her.

As soon as she was out of sight of everyone it was a little easier to breathe. Though not entirely. Alec was surprised to find that some of the tightness in her chest wasn’t just coming from her nerves. Nor was the strange tingling she was starting to feel on her skin.

The sensation wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t pleasant, either. A low-grade annoyance Alec could ignore if she had to. Though what it was, she wasn’t quite sure.

It only took a minute of actually thinking about it for Alec to understand.

 _The wards_. Magnus had warded this place so it wouldn’t be found. With the fact that they were hiding from the Circle it wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility for some of those wards to be against Shadowhunters in general.

Wards could be oddly specific in some ways, requiring an exact thing to ward against to be effective, but in other ways they were also decidedly _vague_ with loopholes to trip you up if you weren’t careful.

If Magnus added a ward specific against nephilim, that’s what it would keep out. Beings with a mix of human and angel blood. But a being who had the blood of humans, angels, _and_ demons? That wasn’t something it was prepared to deal with. Which meant Alec was left with a tingling, itching sensation like little needle pricks against her skin almost like a sunburn gone bad, but nothing else. It was warm and aching, yet nothing she couldn’t deal with.

Alec looked around as she moved off into what was clearly a dining room of some sort. Through there was the kitchen, but also another hallway. One that took her to a wide sitting room area full of books. The perfect place to come and kill a little time. She’d said to make themselves at home, after all. Surely she wouldn’t mind if Alec took some time to read through one or two of her books?

There were so many to choose from. In the end, Alec snagged a couple at random. Then she ducked over to the furthest corner of the room, tugging a chair over there by the window as she went, and curled herself up in it. Dot would come and find her once she was able to stick around. For now, Alec was content to entertain herself for a little while with books.

For a little while Alec tried to lose herself in the words of what was clearly a warlock far, far before her time. Any other day and the book would’ve sucked Alec in. It seemed to be about warlock history, and it was one that Alec hadn’t ever read before. But her mind was too stuck on everything else to really be able to focus on what was in front of her. Though she stared at the pages, her mind kept drifting over everything that had happened and everything they needed to do.

Honestly, more than anything else what Alec needed was a chance to go spar for a little while. Burn out the energy that was coursing through her. She didn’t do well with inactivity. Whether that was just a part of who she was or, as Dot liked to tease, her inner Shadowhunter coming out, she wasn’t quite sure. She just knew that she needed to do something at some point or else she might scream.

It didn’t help that people were slowly but surely filling the room around her. Most of them kept their distance, thankfully, but they still watched. Alec was a newcomer to them, and they were cautious. Especially the ones with kids.

By the time the room was mostly full Alec had pretty much given up all hope of being able to read the book. What little attention she’d paid it before was gone now underneath the discomfort of having more than one person staring at her. Plus, the prickling on her skin was getting worse, and the room was getting warmer as people filed in.

Even more eyes turned Alec’s way when she pushed up out of the chair and put the books away. Alec kept her body calm and controlled as she strolled out of the room like there wasn’t a single eye on her.

She didn’t let that pose down until she’d made her way down the hall and back toward the kitchen. Thank the angel, there was no one in there. That meant Alec was free to take a moment and just _breathe_.

Had this been the right choice, coming here? Should she have stayed out there and waited around for Clary?

No, Dot needed this, and she wouldn’t have come without Alec. She needed to rest, and they needed somewhere to hide until they knew what was going on. Even if they weren’t mixed up in the thick of everything it’d still be a good idea to hide. Magnus wasn’t wrong in trying to get the warlocks holed up in one place for safety.

The sound of the door opening broke Alec out of her thoughts. She straightened up from where she’d been slumped against the counter just in time to watch as Magnus herself came strolling in.

Each time Alec saw the woman it struck her all over again just how casually gorgeous she was. Though logically Alec knew it had to take time to do makeup and hair like that, it gave her an almost effortless look that was as stunning as it was appealing.

Magnus’ eyebrows went up and a smile lit her face the instant she caught sight of Alec. “Hiding out in the kitchen now, are we?” she asked teasingly.

Rolling her eyes, Alec crossed her arms over her chest. More to try and ease the prickling around her hands than anything else. It was starting to amp up a little, probably in response to Magnus arriving and sealing the wards. “I’m not that fond of large crowds,” she admitted.

“Mm, shame. I’ve always enjoyed them, myself. Though there’s something to be said for a more… intimate setting.” Shamelessly, Magnus winked at her.

Something about the over-the-top flirting had Alec wanting to laugh a little. She’d never met someone quite so brazen in their flirting. Yet, at the same time, she also got the feeling she could tell Magnus _no_ and the woman would stop. An idea that Alec found… different. Nice.

She wasn’t all that surprised when Magnus came over to lean back against the counter with her. Though it wasn’t entirely fair that the woman made her slouch look so much more alluring than Alec’s slightly military style pose.

When Alec tilted her head to look at Magnus’ face, she was surprised to find that Magnus had her brows drawn down and her lips pursed in an expression of concern.

“What?”

“Are you all right?” Magnus asked. “You seem a little, off.” Reaching out, Magnus laid just her fingers on Alec’s arm. Not expecting the touch, Alec couldn’t keep the pained hiss behind her teeth. That prickling really felt like a sunburn in that moment. Magnus’ touch _hurt_.

Her response had Magnus yanking her fingers back like they’d been burned.

A second later, Alec realized it wasn’t just her response that had done it – apparently, her thought was more than just a metaphor.

“What on earth?” Magnus swore, cradling her hand for a moment and staring at Alec with wide eyes. Her fingers uncurled a little, and Alec was stunned to see the tips of them were actually red. As if she really had been burned just by touching Alec. “Your skin… _what’s wrong_?”

Those last two words came out sharper than the rest. Like Magnus moved from stunned and concerned to alert in an instant.

Alec looked at Magnus’ hand with wide eyes. “I didn’t… I don’t know.” She drew on her magic a little and sighed as it relieved some of the sharp prickling feeling off of her skin. For the moment she chose to ignore that and instead held fingers wrapped in blue towards Magnus’ hand. “May I?”

“Only if you tell me what’s going on.”

“I wasn’t lying. I don’t know, not exactly. Not for sure.” At the dry, flat look Magnus gave her, Alec sighed. “Can I heal your hand, first? I really am sorry about this.”

For a moment Alec wasn’t sure Magnus would let her. Then the other woman was extending her hand Alec’s way. With a sigh of relief, Alec reached out and ran healing magic over Magnus’ fingers. When she pulled away the skin looked as good as new.

Magnus didn’t even look. She kept her eyes on Alec’s face while she drew her hand back. “You said you don’t know _exactly_. So, what do you _suspect_? Because I touched your skin earlier, and while you’re hot, darling, it wasn’t exactly literal before.” All at once Magnus went completely still. The way her eyes narrowed down on Alec was kind of disconcerting. As was the brief golden flash that showed there. “ _Lilith_. The _wards_.”

A weak smile curved Alec’s lips. She shrugged one shoulder and held her hands out in a gesture meant to convey that Magnus’ guess was as good as hers.

It didn’t work to placate Magnus in the least bit. If anything, her eyes just flashed all over again, and she reached out to the nearest node on the wall almost instantly. Alec watched with awe as Magnus moved through the node to access the intricate wards that had been wrapped around the building. A moment later, one of her hands reached out Alec’s way. “Give me your hand so I can steal a bit of blood to let the wards know you’re safe to be here.”

“I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with the idea of giving up a bit of my blood,” Alec said. Yet she still went turned a little toward the other woman and put her hand in Magnus’. She trusted her, though she wasn’t quite sure why. They hadn’t known one another long enough for that.

Magnus gave an abrupt, surprising snort, eyes still focused off on the depths of the wards that only she could see. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you perhaps hoping to suffer stoically the entire time you were here? So sorry to have burst those plans, sweetheart.”

The sarcasm rolled easily off Alec’s skin. Most of her attention was turned internal at that moment. As soon as Magnus touched her finger, the change Alec felt was immediate. The prickling sensation was gone from her skin, and for the first time since she’d come here it felt like she could finally relax. Gone was the heat and pressure she’d barely even noticed was there until now. The absence of it made her realize just how badly it’d all been pressing down on her.

Once more, her reaction didn’t go unnoticed.

When Alec opened her eyes again, she found that Magnus was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest and a slightly annoyed look on her face. Her hip was pressed against the counter now so that her whole body was turned toward Alec. “Were you just planning on silently suffering the entire time you were here?”

What could Alec really say to that? She shrugged a little; defensive without really being sure why she should be. “I figured out pretty quickly what was likely causing it, though I couldn’t be sure. Since I didn’t think you’d exactly trust giving me open access to come and go like that, I didn’t really see a point in saying anything. Having a ward up like you did was smart.”

“There are always ways around things like that. And you’ve done nothing so far to earn my distrust.”

“I haven’t done anything to earn it, either,” Alec pointed out.

Magnus waved that off like it was little consequence. “Either way, I wouldn’t allow anyone to stay in my care and suffer the entire time they were here.” Another flash of gold went through Magnus’ eyes. “You thought I’d make you leave.”

Okay, yeah, the way Magnus was able to read her so easily was a bit disconcerting. Alec wasn’t used to anyone being able to read her like that. Or paying enough attention to try. Clary was always pretty good at taking up the spotlight in whatever room she was in, and Alec had always been content to allow her that rather than try to seek it out for herself.

“What’s half a warlock compared to a whole house of them?” Alec asked honestly.

A pained look crossed Magnus’ features that Alec didn’t quite understand. What Alec had said was logical. It made the most sense. Her discomfort factored against the safety of the entire warlock community here in New York? There was no contest. Alec had been taught all her life to protect people. This was what she knew.

While Alec continued to watch Magnus with just a hint of confusion, the other woman only seemed to get sadder. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Much as I would love to sit here and delve into the absolutely atrocious self-worth issues I’m seeing, perhaps tonight isn’t the night for it.” That said, Magnus pushed away from the counter, and all signs of sorrow were washed off her face. “Dorthea has claimed a room down at the end of the hall for you two, last door on the left. I’m sure you’ll find her there. I told her if I saw you, I’d send you along.”

“Thank you, Magnus.” The words weren’t just gratitude for her allowing them to stay, or for sending her Dot’s way. They were for so much more, and the both of them knew that.

“Think nothing of it,” Magnus said, waving her hand airily. She blew a kiss Alec’s way and tossed a “I’ll see you later!” over her shoulder, and she was gone, leaving Alec staring after her and shaking her head.


	4. Chapter 4

Finding Dot was easy enough thanks to Magnus’ directions. The room that the other woman had picked out for the two of them had one large queen bed in it, a dresser, and space for their suitcases that Dot had seemingly summoned for them. Neither one had any issues climbing into that big bed to share. It wasn’t the first time they’d slept in the same bed together. Though usually it involved more talking, some drinking, and neither one being sober enough to think about moving afterward. They’d often pulled out a laptop and then fell asleep watching some movie or other.

That night, Alec didn’t sleep as well as she would have if she’d been at home, not even with Dot at her back. Too many things were going on in her brain for her to really shut down entirely. But she managed to get a few hours off and on.

When morning finally did roll around, she was up before Dot – another common thing. Though Alec could laze in bed with the best of them, her preference was to get up, go for a run, do some exercise of some sort, and have breakfast. Not that it meant she was a morning person of any sort. She was barely alive before the second cup of coffee. But the routine of it was one thing that helped her control the energy, both magical and angelic, that sometimes built up.

There wasn’t any opportunity for that this morning. Not only couldn’t Alec leave where she was, she didn’t want to try and find somewhere to do a private workout and risk other people coming in on her. Probably not the best sort of impression to make on people.

Instead, she sought out a shower, happily sighing under the amazing heat and water pressure. Then she summoned some simple clothes and threw them on, a pair of dark jeans, a tank top, and a deep blue hoodie as well as some boots. Once she was dressed, she took her brush and went to sit down at the foot of the bed, towel in her lap, to start brushing out her hair.

She wasn’t that surprised when Dot woke up once she started. Nor that the woman announced her presence by sitting up and sleepily saying, “You’re going to get weird tangles like that. Give me the brush.”

They’d discovered once when Alec was exhausted and too tired to really care for herself – a bit of magic training gone wrong that had left her drained and practically comatose – that not only did Alec like having her hair brushed, she often relaxed under it. Since then, Dot had frequently come in during her morning routine or post shower and taken the brush.

Handing it over now was easy. Alec did so, shifting around a little as she did until she was more settled. The towel was passed back as well. A second later Alec could hear as Dot shifted, laying the towel in her lap, and then she reached out and began the gentle process of brushing out Alec’s hair, starting from the bottom and working her way up.

“I’m really glad you decided to come with me,” Dot said after a few quiet moments.

Alec shrugged one shoulder. “I wasn’t going to just abandon you. Besides, where else was I supposed to go?”

“Have you thought at all about what we should do next?”

“I haven’t _stopped_ thinking about it.” It was most of what was on Alec’s mind. She needed to try and figure out the smart move here. Not just what her emotions said, which was that she needed to be around Clary to help keep her safe, but what the _smart_ thing to do was. “We have no idea how to find Jocelyn, or what to do if we did. Luke’s as safe as he can make himself. You and I are safe here, at least for now. And Clary’s with the Shadowhunters.”

“She’s going to try and find us at some point. She’ll want answers.”

Closing her eyes, Alec let out a low sigh. “Yeah.”

The brush rose a little higher in Alec’s hair. It gave a small tug at a tangle that pulled her head back just a little. But Dot’s touch stayed gentle, as did her voice. “She’ll forgive us. We were only doing what Jocelyn wanted.”

Thinking of Clary’s reaction wasn’t what Alec wanted to do. She’d already played that scenario out so many times in her head. Not just in the past thirty-six hours, but many times over the years. Alec had tried to think of all the different ways that her young friend might react once she found out her entire life and all the people around her had been a part of a great big lie. One thing Clary absolutely hated was liars. She preferred honesty, even if it was painful.

Alec tried not to sigh again. This was going to be difficult. And it was going to hurt – of that she had no doubt. Clary had a right to her anger, too. They’d all lied to her for so long. Maybe it hadn’t been their choice to start the lie, but it’d been theirs to continue to perpetrate it over and over through the years. At any time Alec could’ve taken her aside and explained the truth to her. Given her the kind of honesty she deserved.

“Alec. She’s going to understand. You, especially. She understood when you weren’t ready to come out yet, and she was there to support you when you did. She’s going to understand why you kept this quiet, too.”

Unable to help it, Alec huffed out a breath that was a bit too pained to be a laugh. “I think announcing I’m gay and announcing I’m a warlock don’t exactly match up, Dot.”

“They’re both parts of who you are,” Dot said firmly. “Parts of you that you were born with, and that you can’t change. She’ll understand.”

As much as Alec wanted to hope it’d turn out that way, she wasn’t sure it would.

Dot finished brushing her hair in silence, and then she braided it quickly, snapping a ponytail around the end. When they were done, Alec headed down to go find coffee while Dot went to get a shower of her own.

Warlocks were already gathered in the kitchen and dining room. There were two women sitting huddled together with a young girl at the table, who looked no older than four or five. The women were both blond, with warm smiles for the child, whose complexion more matched the golden color of Magnus’. The girl looked up at Alec’s entrance, while one of the women pulled her a little closer and gave Alec a suspicious look. The other woman rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Ignore my wife, please,” she said easily. Then, to Alec’s surprise, she held out one hand. “My name is Lulu, and this is my wife Penny, and our daughter Minerva. Or, Min or Minnie for short.”

“I like Min,” the girl announced proudly.

Alec took a step forward and shook Lulu’s hand, though it was Min that she smiled at. “It’s a pleasure to meet you guys. I’m Alec.”

“Are you new?” Min asked. With the fearlessness of most kids she didn’t hesitate to address what the others would’ve likely only thought about. “I’ve never seen you before.”

The look on Alec’s face softened. She could feel it happen, and she couldn’t help it. Kids were always a soft spot of hers. With the two women watching on, Alec squatted down beside the table, putting her at just the perfect height to fold her arms on top of it and rest her chin on them. It put her more at Min’s level so she wasn’t towering over her. “I’m sort of new. My friend, Dot, she raised me around here, but we never really saw a lot of people.”

The mention of Dot’s name had Min lighting up. “I know Ms. Dot! She comes over sometimes and teaches cool things at school. Mama says I can even go next year!”

Alec spent a few minutes squatting there listening to Min talk all about the small warlock school that her mothers were going to take her to. Alec knew it existed. She also knew that sometimes Dot went there and helped out a little. Where it was located, _that_ was something that Alec _didn’t_ know. Only once had Dot offered to take her there back when Alec had been with them for just about a year. The young girl had vehemently declined. She hadn’t wanted to go anywhere that Clary couldn’t go. How would she watch over her from so far away?

“It sounds like you’re ready to go,” Alec said when Min paused for breath. “I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun and make plenty of friends.”

“She’s pretty good at that,” Penny said. Her stern, worried expression had melted into something softer now. Like Alec had passed some sort of test.

In her years as teaching Alec had learned that quite a few adults softened up to her once they saw her interact with kids. Her size was often intimidating to people. Seeing her around kids tended to puzzle a lot of people for some reason or another, but it almost always made them a little nicer to her.

Another voice joined their conversation, drawing their attention over to the kitchen door. “That she is.” Catarina Loss was grinning as she came into the room with a large mug of coffee cradled in her hands.

Alec took one look at it and swore she felt herself starting to drool. Her want must’ve shone through in her eyes because Catarina laughed, eyes warm and teasing, and snapped a mug up right in front of Alec. When Alec practically fell on it, Catarina shook her head, though her smile never faded. “Another coffee lover, I see.” She lifted her mug up in a cheers gesture that Alec easily returned.

“You wanna sit with us and have some breakfast, Ms. Alec?” Min asked suddenly.

Alec shot a look up at Penny and Lulu first, waiting for their nods, before she smiled at Min and said, “I’d like that, thank you.”

Breakfast was brought out to them a minute later by another warlock, one that Alec didn’t know this time. It was a whole platter of freshly baked muffins that were set in the middle of the table with promises of more coming out soon. Alec, who’d taken the chair at Lulu’s side, helped herself to one, though most of her focus was on her coffee.

Across from her, Catarina was doing the same thing. “I can’t get through my day without coffee,” she said, easily picking their conversation back up.

“I can imagine. You’re a nurse at the hospital, right?” Alec asked. She was pretty sure that Dot had mentioned that was where Catarina was working now.

The other woman smiled at her. “That’s right. Which is where I would be right now if Magnus hadn’t threatened to kidnap me straight from the hospital.”

Lulu grinned while Penny laughed. “That sounds like her,” Lulu said fondly.

Catarina rolled her eyes. The way she smiled as she did made her affection for Magnus clear, though. And judging from what Alec remembered hearing about her and Magnus, these two had been friends for quite the long time.

“What about you?” Catarina asked abruptly. She rested her elbows on the table and brought her mug up to her mouth so she could drink while watching Alec. “I’m pretty sure the last I heard, Dot said you were teaching at some gym?”

A hint of color touched Alec’s cheeks at the idea that they spent any time talking about her. She hadn’t expected that. Magnus hadn’t really known about her beyond knowing that Dot had a student. Yet Catarina seemed to know actual facts about her. “Uh, yeah,” Alec finally answered, once she realized she’d just sort of been staring. She tried to shrug one shoulder as casually as possible. Having so much attention on her wasn’t something she was comfortable with. Not like this, at least. “I teach martial arts to kids. Luckily, I don’t have any classes right now. Not till Monday, at least.”

By that point she’d be out of here. There wasn’t any reason that she should have to stay through the whole weekend. Though hopefully by that point Clary had contacted her and maybe, if Alec were lucky, she’d be able to be out helping her friend. She’d have to find someone to cover for her classes if that were the case. Or resign entirely.

That last option was the most logical, yet it was the one Alec wanted to do the least. She enjoyed her work and she enjoyed the kids. But, it was all going to depend on what happened with Clary.

Thinking about her brought to mind the fact that Alec had left her phone back in the bedroom in her coat. A flick of her fingers brought it to her palm. Cradling her phone with one hand and her mug with the other, she unlocked it and found a whole slew of messages waiting for her.

It would seem while she’d been asleep Clary had finally woken up. There were seven missed calls from her, twelve from Simon, and even two from Luke. Alec stared down at it and felt the little knot in her stomach that had been sitting there since this all started begin to grow a little more. Worry, fear, guilt. It was a nauseating mix.

“Alec?” Catarina’s concerned thoughts broke through Alec’s inner monologue. She looked up to find the other woman watching her, brows furrowed down. “Is everything all right?”

Alec had to clear her throat twice just to find her voice. “Oh, um, it’s all right. I just have a few things I need to go take care of. If you’ll excuse me.”

In an instant she was up out of her chair and taking off down the hallway. Alec ignored everyone she passed. She didn’t care about them right now. All her attention was on her phone.

The instant she was in the bedroom her and Dot had slept in, she shut the door and then opened up her voicemail. Despite the multiple calls, there were only two voicemails. One of them was Simon, and it was short and to the point. “ _Where are you, Alec? I tracked Clary’s phone. You’re not gonna believe this! She’s at this creepy looking abandoned church. I’ll call you when I talk to her. Or, you know, call me when you get this. Whatever happens first_.”

The next message was from Clary. Just the sound of her voice, how cracked and panicked it was, had Alec sitting down heavily on the edge of the bed.

“ _Alec! Oh, God, I hope you’re all right. I’ve been trying to reach you and you keep not answering. I don’t know what’s going on, or what to say. Everything’s going crazy here. Simon says he can’t get a hold of you either, and I can’t find Dot, and Mom’s missing, and I just… please, if you get this, please call me. Please be okay._ ”

Alec closed her eyes against the pain that hit her square in the chest. It was like someone had punched her and knocked all the wind out of her. She couldn’t catch her breath, and her heart was aching, clamped down under a vice. The voicemail ended, and Alec took a moment to just sit there staring down at her phone.

This wasn’t what she’d wanted to happen. Clary sounded so fucking scared! Alec needed… she needed to get to her. Fast. Only, how? If she was still with the other Shadowhunters, there was no way they’d let Alec in the Institute to see her, and that was the last place Alec wanted to go anyway. She had no desire to be in there and see the home she’d left behind. Not knowing how much it would hurt to stand there and be a stranger to people she’d once run with, trained with. Had been destined to _lead_ one day.

What was she supposed to do here?

So much of Alec insisted that she needed to at least call Clary. Soothe her down. But what would she say?

Sitting back against the head of the bed, Alec stretched her legs out and stared up at the ceiling. Whatever she was going to say, she needed to figure it out. Fast. She couldn’t just leave Clary hanging like this.

Alec’s finger hovered over her friend’s name for a long moment before she finally forced herself to hit call.

The phone rang. And rang.

And rang.

When Clary didn’t answer, Alec clenched her hand around the mug she was still holding. She had to fight to make sure her voice was as steady as she could make it when the ringing stopped and the phone kicked her over to voicemail. “Hey, Carrot,” Alec said. She cleared her throat, forcing away the last bit of hoarseness. “Sorry I missed all your calls. I just… you’re right, there’s so much going on right now. So many things I want to talk to you about. Um… don’t worry about Dot. She’s here with me. We’re both safe. Just, I guess it’s your turn. You call me when you get this.”

After a moment of awkward silence, not quite sure if what she’d said was right or _enough_ , Alec finally hit the end call button.

Alec dropped her phone down onto the bed and then brought her hand up to her face and rubbed at it until she was seeing little sparks behind her eyes. Well, that had been fucking awkward. Though that was kind of to be expected when both her and Clary were trying to talk to the other one without actually giving away anything. Clary likely had no idea that Alec knew anything about the Shadow World. She wasn’t going to try and give it all away in her voicemail. Meanwhile, Alec couldn’t let on that she knew because it wasn’t fair to Clary to get into that in _voicemails_ instead of face to face.

“Fucking hell,” Alec swore lowly. She didn’t often use those kinds of words, but at the moment they fit.

She needed to figure out her shit, fast, so that the next time Clary called her back, she’d be ready. For whatever kind of conversation they had.

* * *

Most of Alec’s day was spent hiding back in the bedroom. She summoned herself some books to look through, and a few notebooks to jot things down in. Lately she’d been entertaining the thought of maybe doing some college courses. Or, well, Clary and Simon had been pushing her to do it, insisting she was so much smarter than she gave herself credit for. That she could be more than just an instructor.

Mostly she’d pulled up some class ideas just to shut those two up. Not because she was actually interested or anything. Her life wasn’t ever going to be meant for some normal mundane thing. _This_ right here had always had the potential to get in her way. Still, looking through some of the books she’d gained, plus some of the websites on her laptop, which she’d also summoned to her, kept her from sitting and brooding while she waited for Clary to call back.

It was late in the afternoon, running closer to dinner, when Dot finally came and sought her out.

She rapped against the door before opening it. At the sight of Alec curled up in bed, she smiled. “Why am I not surprised to find you surrounded by books and papers?”

Alec raised one eyebrow. What else was she supposed to do here?

Chuckling, Dot shook her head. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t give me that look. You could’ve come out and socialized.” When that only made Alec snort, her opinion on _that_ clear, Dot laughed again. “Which is exactly why I didn’t come back here and bug you. But a little birdie let me know you only had coffee at breakfast, and you didn’t come out for lunch. So, time to come out and eat some dinner.”

“I’m not really that hungry.” Alec tried to dismiss her. She really wasn’t. Usually when upset or anything else like that, her appetite was one of the first things to go, and she knew Dot knew that.

Just like she knew that Dot wouldn’t let her get away with that excuse. Despite how little Alec ate when she was feeling out of sorts, Dot didn’t let her skip too many meals.

Apparently, she had someone else on her side this time, too, and wasn’t afraid to use them.

“Cat and Magnus both insisted I bring you out. When Cat let me know you hadn’t eaten breakfast, and none of us could remember seeing you emerge for food at any point, Cat said I could either go get you or she’d come get you herself. And trust me, that’s the last thing you want. She’ll drag you out by your hair if she has to. Or bring food in here and feed you herself.”

The mental image of Catarina coming here to force feed her had Alec cringing a little. She definitely didn’t want that to happen. “Fine.”

“Good!” Dot didn’t give her a chance to make any excuses or anything like that. She waved her hand, sending all of Alec’s things into a neat little pile at the foot of the bed, and then pushed off the doorframe. “Let’s go!”

There wasn’t any real choice after that. Alec could either go with her or get dragged down there by one or multiple warlocks who apparently had a _thing_ about making sure that people ate? Alec wondered if that was just some sort of strange warlock trait or if that was just the type of people she seemed to be unlucky enough to surround herself with.

When Dot and Alec made it to the dining room, it was much larger than it had been before, and two tables were in there instead of one. Both were almost completely full of both people _and_ food. Alec found herself dragged down to some of the only empty seats left. Of course, because Dot was having way too much fun with the idea of Magnus and Alec flirting, she pushed so that Alec slid into the seat right next to Magnus, leaving Dot to take the seat next to her.

Alec may or may not have kicked her friend under the table. Hard.

Catarina, who was right across from Alec, gave her an appraising look as she sat down. It was kind of a stark contrast to the smile she’d worn the last time Alec had seen her. Enough of one to have Alec meeting her look with a bewildered one of her own.

“Oh.” Catarina wrinkled her nose up as if she’d just smelled something disgusting. “You’re one of _those_ , aren’t you?”

Instant panic hit Alec’s gut. Had she done something to give herself away? Something to tell what she was? She wanted to double check her skin, make sure her glamour hadn’t slipped to show off the runes there.

Thankfully, Dot spoke up before Alec’s panic could grow any worse. She laughed, the sound already easing Alec some, and grinned over at Catarina. “Oh, you’ve got _no_ idea. I was terrified the day she moved out because I know how bad she can get. Anything goes on, she starts doing anything else, and food is always the first thing she forgets about.”

 _Oh_. That’s what they were talking about?

Alec relaxed so much she almost slumped down in her seat. However, now that she knew what was going on, she turned to shoot a glare at Dot. “I know how to feed myself.” Immediately she turned back to Catarina and Magnus. “Don’t listen to her. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself.”

“You just don’t always remember to use those capabilities,” Dot shot back.

A dry “Ladies” from Magnus stopped whatever argument might’ve happened next. Both Dot and Alec turned to find their host watching them with amusement. “As entertaining as you two no doubt are, perhaps we might actually enjoy our food now instead of arguing about enjoying it?”

While Alec flushed, Dot grinned and a few others laughed.

After that a few moments were lost as everyone began to dish up all the food that was laid out for them. Alec looked around the room as they all did. It felt sort of strange to be in a place so full of warlocks. To look around and see all these people who were like her in some way. People who were _different_. Once, being here would’ve been terrifying for Alec. Her training had taught her not to trust warlocks. Or any Downworlder, really. Her own experience had taught her better.

There were all types of warlocks here, too. Skin tone ranged from the darkness of Catarina’s skin to the lightness of Alec’s, with every color in between, and some that weren’t typically seen on humans. People had horns, scales, fangs, claws. Alec even saw a few tails and what looked like a small pair of firefly wings. The people here were _comfortable_ in ways they couldn’t usually be. There was no one around to see but other warlocks. They could just _be_ without fear of being judged.

Alec swallowed down the lump in her throat. She dropped her eyes to her plate and tried not to let her envy show. What she wouldn’t give to be able to do the same. To be somewhere that she was free to be herself without any fear of what might happen.

She couldn’t show off her marks. Not her warlock one, and not her runes. Her runes would only terrify the people here. And her mark? Well, to be honest, it was likely that her mark would terrify them, too. The patchiness of it, the way the black of some skin blended in with the paleness of the rest of her skin, it was like a bad patchwork doll. Like someone had taken two beings and shoved them together in bits and pieces. In a sense, wasn’t that what she was? A patchwork human made up of three different races. Part of them all and belonging to none.

The brush of a foot over her calf had Alec jumping. She looked up, only to find Catarina and Dot watching her curiously, their worry only barely hidden.

Magnus, however, was smiling softly at her. She used her fork to gesture toward Alec’s surprisingly full plate of food. “You should try some, darling. I’ll warn you that Catarina isn’t above sitting there and feeding you herself if she feels you’re not eating enough.”

“As if you’re any better,” Catarina immediately shot back. She shook her head and sent a dry look Alec’s way. “Don’t let her High Warlock persona fool you. Everyone knows Magnus is a bigger mother hen than anyone else out there. It’s why she makes such a good High Warlock. Even if it makes her a bit of a pain in the ass friend sometimes.”

Tilting her head up so that her nose was held almost primly up in the air, Magnus gave a little huff. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The fact that her foot was still quietly running along Alec’s calf, and the way she looked down at Alec’s plate before looking back at her, gave silent lie to those words.

Alec smothered her smile behind a bite of what turned out to be an extremely delicious eggplant parmesan.

* * *

Dinner was a laidback affair. One that had Alec relaxing despite herself. As Magnus and Catarina tried to outdo one another with stories, slowly but surely drawing the attention of the whole dining room, everyone was laughing and having a good time. It was enough to distract Alec’s mind, at least for a little while, from the things waiting for them outside this place and the phone call she still hadn’t gotten.

If Magnus didn’t really remove her foot from Alec’s space until the meal was done, well, no one had to know that that was what she was smiling from.

It wasn’t until the meal was done, and Magnus had excused herself, along with a few other people, that some very distinct whispers caught Alec’s attention.

“Did you hear?” someone at the nearby table said. “Magnus got word from the Shadowhunters. I guess they want to meet with her about some necklace.”

Every inch of Alec went tense at that. She turned to look at Dot, who had a slightly chagrined look on her face. Thankfully, she didn’t make Alec ask, nor did she try and pretend she didn’t know what was going on. “Shadowhunters sent Magnus a fire message earlier. They figured out it was Magnus who took Clary’s memories and they want to make a trade – an item of Magnus’ that the Institute has for Clary’s memories.”

“She’s going to _meet with her_?” Alec asked, jaw dropping just a little. “And you, what? Weren’t going to tell me?”

“There was no point in telling you,” Dot hurried to say. But Alec was already pushing up from her chair, food and drink forgotten. Dot hurried to reach out and grab her arm, trying to hold her in place. “Alec, please. It’s not a good idea for you to go out there right now – you _know_ that.”

Alec held still, looking down at her friend with a hard expression that set those watching back a little. Even Catarina was surprised to see Alec direct that look Dot’s way when they’d been so friendly through dinner.

“The whole plan was to come here, rest, and then go find her, and you expect me to stay here when Magnus is meeting up with her?” Alec demanded.

“Alec…”

“I don’t care how safe you think it is or isn’t. I’m going to go see her, even if I have to portal myself out of here. And you damn well knew I would, which was why you kept this from me.” Alec’s expression hardened even more. “What was your plan, to wait till she was gone and then tell me? Or until she came back?”

The silence that surrounded them at that was answer enough.

Giving a tug, Alec broke free from Dot’s grip. “That wasn’t your decision to make. I can protect myself, and I can damn well protect _her_.” That sad, she spun and marched away, never seeing the way that Dot sank a little behind her.

With a quick feel of the air it took no time at all for Alec to find where Magnus had gone. The woman was in the living room with a few more of the warlocks nearby. She was making herself a drink at a small drink cart off to the side of the room. Wasting no time, Alec marched right up to her. She didn’t bother beating around the bush. “I’ve heard you’re going to meet up with Clary and the Shadowhunters.”

The other woman didn’t even look up from where she was pouring her drink into a glass. “Yes, I am.”

“Take me with you.”

Now that got a reaction out of her. Magnus froze, drink lifted in front of her lips, and shot Alec a surprised look over the top of the glass. “Excuse me? You want me to take you _with me_? To meet the Shadowhunters? I would’ve thought that was the last place you’d want to be.”

“You’d think,” Alec said, shrugging a little as she did. “But I can’t stay here and hide. Clary…”

The expression on Magnus’ face softened a little. “I’ll look out for your friend, my dear.”

“No, it’s not that. I know you would. You’ve already done so much to take care of her in the past. It’s more… Clary’s a bit, stubborn.” One corner of Alec’s mouth curved up. She couldn’t quite resist the urge to snort. “Pigheaded is a word her mom liked to use. She has this tendency to tunnel in on something she wants and sort of forget the world around her. Sometimes that’s a good thing, it means she gets things done. But sometimes it’s not so good, either, when she fails to think of what her actions do to the people around her.”

“You want to make sure she’s truly safe with the Shadowhunters.”

“I want to make sure she knows that they aren’t her only option, and that she’s not blinded to what they say or do by the need to find her Mom.” Alec’s words were straightforward and honest. “I also want to make sure she’s not going in and being her usual self and doing all sorts of things that are going to get her in trouble. She’s not the type of person to take to the Clave rule all that well. She won’t know how to treat the Institute Head, or what kind of things they’re going to expect of her. Jocelyn left her in no way prepared at all for something like this, and that could end up getting her killed. Especially once they find out who she really is.”

“And you think a short meeting with her can help you fix all that?”

“I think if I can just talk to her, I might be able to help her.” And that was all Alec wanted. She just wanted to help Clary. Even if Clary was furious with her, even if she ended up hating Alec for all the years of lies and secrets, the only thing Alec wanted was for her to be safe.

Magnus smiled a little at her. “You’re a good friend, Alexandra.”

Even as Magnus said it, Alec was shaking her head. “No, I’m not. If I was, I would’ve told her all of this years and ago and damn what her mother wanted. But I can do my best to try and make up for that.” That was all she wanted to do. She owed Clary that much.

“All right.” Lifting her drink, Magnus watched Alec for a moment like she was looking for something. Then she nodded her head and repeated “All right. But if I’m taking you with me, I need to trust that you’re going to behave yourself. Allow _me_ to deal with the Shadowhunters. Whatever is between you and Clary is just that – between you two. But the Shadowhunters are there for business with me. I’d like to keep it that way.”

Though the words might’ve sounded harsh or condescending to anyone else, to Alec, she was able to hear the message underneath that. The protection that Magnus was covering up with a lofty command.

She nodded, grateful and unafraid to let Magnus see that. Her “Thank you” was for more than just allowing her to come. The way that Magnus’ eyes warmed a little made it clear she understood that.

* * *

When it came time to go, Alec couldn’t help but feel nervous. This wasn’t the setting she’d wanted to meet up with Clary in. But, Clary hadn’t called her back all day long, and she hadn’t answered Alec’s second attempt at a call, and Alec just needed to… she just needed to see her. Talk to her. Find out that she really was okay. Even if they had to do it in front of an audience. All the other things Alec had told Magnus were true, all the reasons she’d wanted to see Clary. But there was a large part of her that really just needed more than anything to see her friend alive and well.

Before they left, Alec made a point to go down to the bedroom and change. According to Magnus, they were going to a rave and “As adorable as your baggy sweater look is, that’s really not _rave_ clothes, darling. Right now, the last thing we want is for you to stand any more than you already do.”

Right. Okay. Alec could do that. She could make herself look a little different if it meant people didn’t pay as much attention to her. Though she found it hard to believe that they wouldn’t already be drawing the attention of everyone around them with Magnus right there. She had the kind of presence that just stole the show.

But, at least Alec could try and dress less homely. Despite what Clary liked to say, Alec did know how to dress, and she was self-aware enough to be able to dress up at least a little for a club. She’d watched Dot and even Clary go often enough over the years.

Alec traded out her jeans for a pair of her favorite leather pants. A bit thicker than most, more for riding than for any kind of dancing, but Dot had insisted they did wonderful things for her ass, and so, okay, maybe Alec wanted to look a little _good_ as well. She was going out with Magnus to this thing, and it might not be a date or anything like that despite how often Magnus kept making ‘date’ jokes, but there wasn’t anything wrong in wanting to draw the attention of a pretty girl. Or a goddess.

For a top Alec kept it kind of simple. While she was a bit more endowed than some women, and definitely more so than Clary – much to the younger girl’s dismay – she had enough to get by with. But Alec pushed herself into a sports bra simply because, flirting or no, pretty girl or no, there was a very real risk of fighting here and the last thing she wanted was to be caught having to fight in a pushup bra or something equally uncomfortable. So she went the route of a sports bra, and over that pulled on a simple blue tank top.

For shoes, she tugged on a pair of boots with only a little heel. No need to really make herself taller than she already was.

The outfit was boring, a bit plain, and could probably use some sort of sparkle. Especially if she was going to be standing at Magnus’ side. Still, it looked good on her and she’d be able to fight in it. Those were the two things that mattered.

Alec couldn’t quite resist giving a little wave as she looked herself over in the mirror, though. With that small bit of magic, a few pieces of jewelry appeared. The black lightly studded collar around her neck that Luke had given her for Christmas once, a few beaded bracelets that were from Clary.

Alec gave herself one last look over and nodded. Better. She snagged her leather jacket as she left the bedroom and pulled it on as she went.

She felt sort of stupid strutting through the house looking like that. When she reached the main room where Magnus was waiting for her, the reaction she got the instant Magnus’ eyes landed on her made it all definitely worth it. Magnus had turned at the sound of her footsteps, mouth already open to say something, and froze completely when she caught sight of Alec. Mouth open and all.

Just like the first time they’d met, Magnus’ eyes ran over Alec from head to toe and back again.

While she looked Alec over, Alec returned the favor. How could she not? As was seemingly normal for Magnus, she looked absolutely _stunning_ in what should’ve been completely normal clothes.

Dark velvet boots with a high wedge heel, black pants with gold buttons, a floral tank top that covered little more than a bra, and a sheer black shirt over it. She’d paired it with big gold and pink teardrop earrings and red and pink stones in her rings. Once again, her mohawk was done in big thick curls. Next to her, Alec felt so very plain.

Not that it seemed her companion agreed.

“You, my dear, are a vision,” Magnus murmured. “Absolutely stunning. Leather is definitely a good look for you. And your shirt – you added _color_. Dark color – but color!”

“I was wearing a blue sweater earlier,” Alec pointed out.

A smile curved Magnus’ lips. “Indeed you were. But Dorthea warned me about your penchant for black. Though I have to admit, if it’s all like this, I doubt I’d mind.” With a wink, Magnus turned a little toward the wall and crooked her elbow, holding it out Alec’s way. “Shall we? I’m quite ready to be the envy of the ball.”

Alec moved to stand at Magnus’ side. After a second, she slid her hand into the curve of the other woman’s elbow, smiling a little as she did. It was hard not to smile around Magnus. “I thought we were going to a rave, not a ball?”

“So long as it has you, it matters not what you call it. I’ll enjoy it either way.”

Magnus lifted her free hand up to call up a portal. Holding a little tighter to her, Alec shook her head, laughing. “That was terrible,” she teased.

“Ah,” Magnus tilted her head and winked up at Alec. “But you laughed. To see that smile on your face was quite worth it.”

Together, the two stepped through the portal, Alec still laughing as they went.


	5. Chapter 5

Between one step and the next they went from the living room of the safehouse to the side of a loud, packed room. Alec had to fight back an almost immediate wince. The music was loud, lights were flashing, and there were more people packed into this small space than there had been at Pandemonium. At least, it felt like that.

All of Alec’s senses went on high alert. How was she supposed to keep any of them safe here? There was no way she’d be able to sense any kind of trouble coming. Not with as many people as there were.

“Deep breath, my dear,” Magnus said, patting at Alec’s hand, which was still held on Magnus’ elbow. Then, leaving her hand over Alec’s, she began to walk them through the room and over toward a set of tables and chairs. “Come on. Let’s go have a seat and wait for our guests to arrive.”

Navigating through the party was a lot easier with Magnus than it’d ever been with Clary. Magnus had the kind of presence that seemed to encourage people to move for her. Or, the magic to help her along. When Alec went with Clary it was up to Alec to pave a way through the crowd. Though Clary wasn’t afraid to just bulldoze her way through, she was tiny enough that it didn’t often work, and she’d end up knocked over or threatening to fight someone. They’d found a few unique ways around that once or twice.

Thinking of that had Alec laughing softly to herself.

Magnus tugged her down into a chair when they reached the seating area. She took the one right at Alec’s side, even scooting in a little so that they were hip to hip. There was a smile already on her face when Alec looked down at her. “What’s so funny?” Magnus asked, one eyebrow up.

She realized that Magnus had likely heard her laughing. Reminded of that, Alec flashed a wide, bright grin, not noticing the slightly dazed look it put on Magnus’ face. “I was thinking about how much easier it is to walk through crowds with you than it is with Clary. We had to get creative a time or two to get through different crowds. And if we got separated, she was extremely hard to find since she’s like, a full head or more shorter than everyone else.”

“I can only imagine,” Magnus said.

Alec leaned back a little in her seat, not realizing that she still had hold of Magnus’ arm. Her fingers absently stroked at the material of Magnus’ shirt as she kept talking. She remembered one night at the fair when she’d briefly lost not just Clary but Simon as well.

That memory made her smile grow, and she didn’t hesitate to share the story. “One day, me, Simon, and Clary all went to the fair for a while. We spent a few hours doing rides, eating bad food, all that kind of stuff. Clary was kind of offended to find out I’d never been, so she insisted on taking me. It was… fun. But it got dark, and it was getting late, and I was ready to go home. Only, when I turned to talk to them, I couldn’t find them anywhere.”

Simon and Clary had been only sixteen at the time, just two short years ago, and Alec had maybe – definitely – panicked a little.

“I called out to them, looked all around the games, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. It was so crowded there was no way I was going to be able to see them. I was just about to break down and track them when I heard my name called.” Alec’s grin grew wide again at the memory. She leaned in a bit more, compensating for the sudden blast of louder music, and Magnus leaned in with her, smiling as she watched Alec’s face. “I turned around and found Clary sticking _full body_ up above everyone else. She was riding on Simon’s shoulders just so I’d be able to spot them. Not so that she could find _me_ , because as she pointed out, I kind of stood out. But she said she didn’t want me to not see her and freak out.”

Magnus tilted her head back, laughing openly at her. Alec didn’t mind. She liked watching the way Magnus’ face lit up with her laughter.

“I would bet she put you through quite a lot over the years,” Magnus said, still smiling. “She always seemed like quite the spitfire when her mother brought her by.”

Thinking of all the things that they’d gotten into, all the moments that made up their history together, softened Alec’s smile while at the same time giving it a sort of pained edge. Were those the only memories she was going to carry of her friend? Was Clary even going to want anything to do with her after this?

Thinking of all that had Alec’s thoughts shifting from happy to dark. She didn’t notice the concerned way that Magnus glanced at her. Despite the levity of the previous moment, Alec found herself getting sucked down into darker thoughts. It was hard not to worry about these things no matter how much she tried to tell herself not to.

In an effort to at least _appear_ relaxed, Alec kept her body slouched down in the seat and turned slightly toward Magnus, still stroking absently at her arm. It was a pose that would look calm and controlled to anyone who was watching them. They wouldn’t be able to see just how twisted up Alec felt inside.

No one, that is, except Magnus. She’d watched the change happen, and she continued to show that unnerving ability to read Alec better than most. “You need to relax, darling.”

“I am relaxed,” Alec insisted. They both knew what a lie _that_ was.

“I’m going to think you aren’t enjoying my company at least a little bit.”

Alec rolled her head a little toward the side so she could give Magnus her most unimpressed look. As if Magnus wasn’t aware of just how painfully obvious Alec had made her enjoyment of Magnus’ company so far. “Yes, you’re right,” Alec said in a voice as flat and bored as she could make it. “I absolutely hate your company. You win. How’d you figure it out?”

Amusement twinkled merrily in Magnus’ eyes. She looked up through her lashes at Alec and chuckled a little. “A girl likes a little reassurance now and again. One can’t just _assume_ things.”

A warm, teasing light entered Alec’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure I’m much clearer in the future.”

“Mm, see that you are.” Tossing her head back, Magnus looked fully up at her, not even trying to hide her blinding grin. “I like this talk of the future, though. Does that mean we can count this as our third date?”

“What is with you and counting dates?”

Magnus shrugged casually. “I go after what I want.”

Their conversation cut off abruptly when Alec felt the arrival of their guests. All of a sudden she could feel them – feel _Clary_. She could sense the shifting of the wards around her that, until that moment, Alec hadn’t even noticed Magnus had put up. Then she felt the presence she’d come to recognize and run from.

Nephilim.

Every inch of Alec’s body locked down. Instinct was telling her to get up, run, get the hell out of there before she was seen. Only sheer determination kept her in place. That, and the presence of the woman beside her, who reached over and put her hand on top of Alec’s once more, pressing it in tight against Magnus’ arm. She didn’t let Alec draw away. She kept her there even as a blond Shadowhunter became visible, breaking through the crowd with Clary at his side.

When Magnus rose, she drew Alec with her, keeping her close. And, Alec noticed, on the side furthest away from the Shadowhunter. A fact with Alec felt sort of embarrassed for appreciating.

However, Alec paid no mind to the Shadowhunter. He looked just the same as the rest of them, really. All of her focus was on her friend. Watching as Clary walked up to them, and as her eyes caught on Alec. The way they went wide, the shock that was there followed quickly by relief, and how she instantly stepped away from the blond to rush forward, dodging the hand he tried to grab her with.

Alec let go of Magnus for a moment so she could open both her arms and catch Clary up close when the other girl reached her. Feeling the weight of Clary in her arms soothed something in Alec that had been aching ever since this all started.

“Oh my God, Alec, you’re okay!” Clary breathed out against her neck.

Closing her eyes, Alec let herself just hold on for a moment more, trusting their safety to the warlock still standing at her side. She kept her arms tight around Clary and held her in close. “Clary.”

Their hug lasted only a moment. Less time than Alec wanted, yet likely more than was safe at the moment. They were far too exposed for a proper greeting.

Clary was the one to draw back, and she looked up at Alec with so much _trust_ it made Alec’s chest ache. “I’m so glad you’re okay! I tried to get a hold of you but I wasn’t getting any answer.”

“I called you back,” Alec felt compelled to point out.

Brows furrowing down, Clary looked over to her left to where Magnus was still standing, then back to the blond behind her, and then at Alec again. Her confusion was clear. “What’s going on, Alec? What’re you doing here?”

This was it. Time to get this started. There was no more hiding from her mistakes. Alec took a step back, not the least bit surprised when Magnus reached out to take hold of her arm this time. Seeing the way Clary’s eyes widened had the guilt in Alec’s stomach growing worse. Yet Alec’s voice was still steady when she finally spoke. “I came with a friend. Once I heard she was coming to meet you, I insisted she bring me with her.”

Magnus easily took her cue from that. She adjusted her hold on Alec, turning in toward her the slightest bit while also putting herself forward just enough to be a presence between Alec and the blond. The smile she gave Clary was bright and full of warmth. “Clary Fairchild. You’ve grown into a beautiful woman.”

It took a second for Clary to make the switch. Her focus kept straying to Alec. After a second, she gave her head a shake and turned back to Magnus, clearly drawing her focus back to where it needed to be. “Magnus Bane.” Taking a deep breath, Clary drew on her own shields, her face and voice going just a bit harder. “So you’re the one who stole my memories.”

The sheer _attitude_ in that had Alec shooting her friend a glare. She would’ve said something, reminded Clary of the respect she knew the girl had, only to get cut off before she could by a squeeze against her arm from Magnus.

Smiling, Magnus lifted her free hand and held up one finger. “At your mother’s request. She knew the risk.”

Clary looked over at Alec, expecting her to say something, maybe? But Alec just stayed silent. For this part, at least, she needed to let Magnus handle things. The woman had insisted that she deal with the Shadowhunter. And Magnus was turned toward him now, smirk in place as she said, “Show me the jewelry, Shadowhunter.”

The guy held the necklace up, only to pull it back at the last second. “Give Clary back her memories, and you get the jewelry.”

As those two spoke, Alec focused back on Clary. She didn’t need to listen to Magnus and this guy debate the necklace or its authenticity. Alec had no idea why it was even so important to Magnus. Alec’s focus here was for Clary and Clary alone. Seeing the ache on her face, the shadows under her eyes, seeing her with runes on her skin… it hurt, in ways Alec hadn’t been prepared for.

“Clary.” Though Alec’s voice was soft, it still got Clary’s attention. Brought her focus from Magnus over to Alec. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry all this is happening. I never wanted this for you.”

“You knew.” The words weren’t a question. They came out sounding more like an accusation. It was all she said, yet the words were like a slap. When Clary deliberately shifted herself so that she was more toward the Shadowhunter, more toward Magnus, it _hurt_. Alec had to fight to hold it in and pay attention to what was in front of her.

Apparently the other two had reached some sort of accord. Clary lifted her chin and glared at Magnus. “Now it’s your turn to pay up,” Clary said, her tone sharp.

Curling her fingers around the necklace, Magnus drew it in and shamelessly dropped it into her pocket. “I wish I could retrieve your memories, biscuit. Truly I do. But, I no longer have them. I fed them to a memory demon for safekeeping.”

That was actually… pretty smart.

It seemed Alec was the only one who thought so, though. Clary looked devastated while the Shadowhunter’s expression had turned into a scowl. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“To protect Clary and the Cup,” Magnus said. Every inch of her, from her tone to her head tilt to the single cocked eyebrow, all of them were a silent _duh_ tacked loud and clear to the end of that sentence. “If Valentine ever captured me, he could torture Clary’s memories out of me. I was under the impression those were the last things we wanted to put into his hands.”

Some of the hardness on Clary’s face vanished under the weight of what she was trying to carry. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Alec wanted to reach out at that moment. Take Clary’s hand, grab her shoulder, anything to try and soothe the pain her friend was in. But she had a feeling her touch wouldn’t be welcome right now. Instead, she stood ramrod straight and wished she could do _something._

To her surprise, Magnus spoke up and said the one thing that Alec had been wishing to say. “Come with me, Clary. My lair can offer you protection no Shadowhunter ever could.”

“Please,” Alec blurted out. She still didn’t reach out, but she did lean in a little more. Now that she knew this was an option there was no way she could keep silent anymore. “Clary, please.”

Magnus twisted a little to open up a portal in the air right behind them. Alec didn’t look, she kept her eyes on Clary.

“Come with us, Clary,” Alec implored her. She wanted to reach out, grab hold of Clary, and drag her with them. Even just for a little while. With Clary tucked away safely at the safehouse with them they’d have time to actually build a plan and figure things out. They’d be able to talk and get all the truths out in the open between them.

She hadn’t expected for Clary to draw back and give them both a disgusted look. It cut her to the quick to see her friend looking at her that way. “No,” Clary sad flatly. “I’m not gonna run from my problems, and neither should you.”

“Is that what you think we’re doing?” Alec snapped at her. “We’re not _running_ , Clary. But there’s no shame in retreating and regrouping to fight at a better time on a different day.”

“And she’ll retreat, with _us_ ,” the Shadowhunter snapped right back at her.

Alec bristled under his tone. If he thought for one minute that Alec was going to stand there and let him talk to her like that – let him try and act like his _two days_ of knowing Clary was somehow worth more than Alec’s _ten years_ – he had another thing coming.

But even as Clary snapped out a sharp “Jace, knock it off!” which at least finally gave Alec a name for the guy, something else happened. Those senses of Alec’s alerted her to another presence. Once that wasn’t in front of them, but _behind_ them. Alec spun, magic in hand. The instant she saw the man behind them, and the Circle rune emblazoned on his neck, she flung her magic in a way she’d never let herself do before. She didn’t aim to hurt – she aimed like he was a demon. She aimed to kill.

Magnus spun at the same time that Alec threw her magic. They all watched as the man was struck and as he fell down to the ground. When Magnus caught sight of the clear Circle rune on his neck, her grip on Alec’s arm tightened. “Valentine has found us. We need to go.”

They turned back, and Alec tried one more time, holding her hand out to Clary. “Please, Clary. Come with us.”

“You come with _us_ , Alec,” Clary shot back. Her eyes darted to Magnus, then back over to Jace, before once more locking with Alec’s. There was a pleading light there. One that Alec hated herself for having to squash. Yet there was no answer she could give other than to shake her head.

When Magnus tugged Alec toward the portal, a silent sign telling her they needed to go, it hurt to turn away from Clary. To know that she had to leave her friend behind. But, Clary was clearly insistent on staying with the Shadowhunter, and that was the last place Alec could be. There was no way this Jace character was going to let a warlock tag along.

Clary reached out for one or both of them, but they moved too quickly, stepping into the portal. The last glimpse of Clary’s face was so pained, Alec knew she wasn’t ever going to forget it.

* * *

They landed on the other side of the portal with a hard thud. Alec almost closed her eyes, ready to take a moment and just _breathe_ through the ache inside her, when she felt it…

The wards were down.

A look at Magnus showed that she, too, had felt it. Her cat eyes were already on display, narrowed down in clear fury, and magic was crackling around her hands. Alec didn’t hesitate to draw her own. She leaned in close to Magnus, elbowing her, and then nodded to the left and then the right. She was grateful to see that Magnus understood what she meant, and that she trusted Alec enough to not question it. The other woman went to the right while Alec went to the left.

Alec kept her body low, easily slipping into the training that she’d never let herself stop building on. Her movements were silent as she made her way down a mostly dark hall.

Halfway through it, a sound on the left drew her attention. Alec held her breath for a second and then, after a quick look around for safety, used her magic to internally activate her runes. Speed, strength, stamina. All the battle runes that were on her body. The brief light flare was mostly hidden under clothes. Then the light was gone, and Alec was free to take a silent step forward. She reached out to push open the door.

What she found on the other side was something Alec knew she wasn’t ever going to forget.

Two warlocks lay in bed, the blood making it more than clear that they were already gone. Over them stood three Shadowhunters, one of them proudly holding up a pair of firefly wings. “These are gonna look great on the wall,” he told his buddies.

A feeling of rage boiled up in Alec like nothing she’d ever felt before. These were the types of horrors she’d heard whispers about, yet never had to face. Fears that had haunted her nightmares ever since she’d learned what it was she really was. Seeing it brought to life in front of her this way – Alec didn’t let herself stop to think about what she was doing. Nor did she think about how, until today, she’d only ever gone after demons before. In one quick move she sent a blast of magic that had the three Circle members flying back toward the walls.

One of them died on impact. The other two pushed up far too quickly, and Alec threw another magical blast at the one while ducking down under the slash of the other. She brought a ball of flaming red magic up to her hands and rolled it back and forth, carefully dividing it into two. One of them she slashed out with, feeling a sick satisfaction at how quickly it slit his throat.

Before he even hit the ground, Alec spun around to attack the other, taking great pleasure in the way he was backing up, clearly afraid.

Alec didn’t allow herself to feel any sense of mercy. She didn’t allow herself to question what she was doing, or second guess it. In that moment she was every inch the Shadowhunter that her mother and father had trained her to be. Emotions were pushed aside – they were a liability. Meaningless distractions. Alec ignored them and let herself turn her magic into a weapon until the last of the three Circle members was dead on the ground.

Even then, Alec didn’t stop. If these three were here, there were others, and she had friends to look out for.

A bit of magic brought Alec’s bow and quiver to her. She pulled an arrow and nocked it as she set out from the room, leaving behind a scene of carnage.

The next scene she came across was two more dead Shadowhunters, and Catarina standing protectively in front of a group of warlocks, most of them children. The two women caught eyes across the room. Catarina was smart enough to recognize the warrior she was seeing in that moment. She didn’t try and stop Alec or talk her down or anything like that. She just gestured off toward the other door that led out to the next hall. “Some went that way. We’ve got most of us here. The ones that…”

When Catarina’s voice trailed off, Alec knew what she wasn’t saying. “Stay here,” Alec told her, her voice hard and sharp, a clear command. “Bar the doors and ward yourselves in here. I’ll send any survivors I find this way.”

Gathering magic once more in her hand, Catarina nodded, already casting the wards around them. When Alec went past her and reached out, sending a rush of magic with the touch of their hands, it bolstered the strength Catarina had already spent and gave her enough to guarantee she’d be able to keep her group warded and safe.

That left Alec free to hunt.

Two steps out of the library found her another Circle member. She sent the arrow flying before he even had a chance to protest.

Alec checked each room as she went past, gathering six more survivors and sending them Catarina’s way. Then a crash up ahead drew her attention, and the sound of voices, one of them harsh and one of them a steady melodious sound that Alec was pretty sure she’d recognize just about anywhere now.

When she crept up to the end of the hall and into the next room, she wasn’t surprised to find Magnus and a Circle member facing off against one another. Magnus held a magic ball in her hands, ready and willing to fight, while the Circle member had his sword held high, smirking and taunting her as he went.

It was the remark about her cat eyes making a nice addition to his collection that set Alec off. She was letting another arrow fly before she’d even finished thinking about it. Magnus didn’t hesitate to follow it up with a blast of magic that finished the man off.

One corner of Alec’s mouth quirked up. Some part of _her_ slipped through the soldier she’d briefly made herself into. “Well done.”

“More like medium-rare,” Magnus called back absently. Then she spun around on her heel and was beaming brightly at Alec. “Good to see you looking hale and healthy, my dear!”

As if Magnus’ words were somehow a challenge to the universe, a sound behind Alec drew her attention and she spun, arrow already ready. Only, the person in the hall was prepared for it and they dodged, ducking under it, and then they were shoving themselves up and slamming right into her ribs with a hard kick, sending Alec flying back into the doorframe with a thud that tore a sharp cry from her throat.

Something red flashed past Alec’s face, shoving back the man who’d kicked her. Alec pushed off the wall the instant it was past. In one quick move she ducked down, sweeping up the sword off the floor, and then she pushed up to one knee while pushing the seraph blade up, right into the stomach of the Circle member. Alec held there for a moment, staring up at him as his eyes went wide with shock. Then she pushed harder, and the light in his eyes flashed and faded away.

Magnus was there the instant Alec let the sword and body drop to the ground. She caught Alec’s shoulder, keeping her from falling, and braced Alec up against her leg without hesitation. “Alexandra…”

“I’m fine,” Alec hurried to say. Though she did allow herself a moment to turn her face in against Magnus’ thigh. Just long enough to gather herself and _breathe_. However, could feel Magnus getting ready to say something and she hurried to cut her off. “You know, I was doing pretty good until someone had to distract me with really terrible meat puns.”

For a second, she wasn’t sure Magnus was going to let her get away with it. Then the woman snorted. “Excuse you? My puns are amazing.”

With Magnus’ help, Alec rose to her feet, only needing to brace on the other warlock and the wall just a little. It was easier once she was on her feet, though. The two of them leaned in shoulder to shoulder as they looked at the body of the man below them. One who had very clearly died by a seraph blade. Distantly, Alec thought to herself that she was going to have to find a way to cover that up. As well as clean off the blood that was on her hands. She didn’t need people questioning how she’d made a seraph blade work.

Alec looked down at her hands and tried not to think about it. Tried not to let herself start to feel sick. This was the first time she’d ever killed anyone human. So far, she’d only gone after demons. Even if she’d taken out a shapeshifting one, she’d still done so with the knowledge that it wasn’t an actual person. Tonight, she’d killed seven. Seven people.

Magnus turned to look around her one last time, making sure the area around them was clear. Then she turned back to Alec, taking a moment to lean up against the wall the same way Alec was and just… catch her breath.

The bright grin Magnus wore was a little surprising, though, as she reached up and pushed back one of the curls that had fallen down toward her face. She was sweating a little, and there was a cut on her left arm that was clearly bleeding, and yet she was grinning brightly at Alec. “Darling, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time.”

“What can I say?” Alec pulled her bow back over her shoulder, glamouring it as she did, and then banished her magic from her hands. “It’s a skill.”

“Indeed. Drinks, flirting, some danger and intrigue, murder. What more could one ask for in a date?”

That broke Alec enough that she couldn’t keep the smile off her lips. The guilt wasn’t gone, but Magnus’ easy teasing gave Alec the strength to push it back. At least for now. “You’re ridiculous. Do you know that?”

“It’s been said.”

“Good. Just so you’re aware.” For a second Alec let herself just look at Magnus, and she mentally debated. She wasn’t usually the bold type, but she wasn’t the shy, scared girl she’d once been, either. _I go after what I want_ , Magnus had said earlier. Maybe Alec should take her advice.

Determination straightened Alec’s spine. She closed the bit of distance between them, enjoying the way that Magnus’ eyes went wide right as Alec reached up and caught hold of her chin, keeping her in place long enough for Alec to duck her head down and press a kiss against the lips she’d been fantasizing about since the first time she’d seen them.

When they pulled back, Magnus eyes were closed, and she leaned in a little, clearly trying to chase after her. Alec couldn’t help but feel a little smug. She was smirking, she knew, and didn’t even try to stop it. Not even when Magnus finally opened her eyes back up once more.

Alec stroked her thumb over Magnus’ chin. “It’s a good thing I like ridiculous,” she murmured. Then she let go, and stepped around Magnus, heading toward the door. “Come on, we need to go gather up everyone and see who needs help.”

She heard Magnus scramble behind her, heels clacking on the floor as she rushed to catch up. “You realize this _definitely_ means we’re on date three. Also, I planned the one before, and you planned this one, so that means it’s my turn next.”

“I can’t wait.”

They reached the living room at almost the same time. Everyone had gathered there, Catarina standing with all the warlocks that were left. Alec couldn’t feel anymore around anywhere, or any other Circle members nearby. There were far fewer casualties than Alec had expected there to be, honestly. _Thank the Angel._ She’d been terrified that they were going to be too slow, or not strong enough.

However, there were three people there that Alec _hadn’t_ expected, and the sight of them was like a blow. Seeing them had Alec reeling back a little. She actually took a full step back, almost crashing into Magnus as she did.

Clary stood there, looking every inch the Shadowhunter with a rune on her neck, another one or two on her arms, and a lit seraph blade in her hand. At her side was the blond one – Jace. And then…

Isabelle.

The sight of her younger sister was harder than anything else for Alec. To see Isabelle standing so proud and tall in her sparkly silver dress, her own blade in the process of being put away, long black hair as straight and perfect as if she’d just combed it. Alec had the absent, slightly hysterical thought of wondering who on earth had combed it for her. It was even longer than Alec remembered.

Her focus was abruptly yanked away from those three when Magnus’ hand touched the back of her shoulder, jolting her to reality, and Catarina’s voice cut into the quiet with a relieved sounding “There you two are. About time you joined the rest of us.”

Turning, Alec found Catarina standing by the group of people that Alec had seen her with earlier. There were some in there she didn’t know, but some of them she recognized. Namely, the two women standing with their young daughter, who for the first time had what had to be her warlock mark out on clear display. Min was standing there with bright blue hair and her eyes fixed straight on Alec.

As soon as Min caught sight of Alec, she was bolting away from the others with a cry of “Alec!” that had Alec immediately dropping down to one knee, trying not to wince as she did, so she could catch Min the instant the girl reached her. Small arms flung around Alec’s neck while the slender body plastered up against her. “You’re okay!”

The surprise that Alec felt at that reaction had her going still for just a second. Then she pulled Min in a little closer and turned her face in, hiding against the small girl’s shoulder. “I’m fine, sweetheart. I’m okay.”

When Alec looked up again, she found that her arrival had drawn more than just the attention of the warlocks. It also had drawn the attention of the Shadowhunters. The three of them were looking at Alec with varying expressions on their faces.

Alec wasn’t the only one to notice them. Min did as well, and she immediately buried her face against Alec’s neck, clearly hiding against her new protector. Alec responded by curling her arms a little more around the small girl for a moment. Then she lowered herself back down again, twisting so that she set Min down with a clear shot toward her mothers. “Go on over to your mothers, little one. The grownups have a few things to talk about.”

“You can come with us,” Min said in that voice of children everywhere who were so convinced their words were whispers. She cast a worried look at the Shadowhunters and then turned back to Alec, chewing on her bottom lip as she did.

Smiling, Alec reached up to brush back some of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. “I’ll be fine, Min.” Alec felt a presence move up to her side and knew who it was without having to look. Her smile grew a little. “I’ve got the High Warlock of Brooklyn to look after me, after all.”

That seemed to set Min at ease a little. She gave Alec one last considering look, and then turned her face up toward Magnus in clear demand for confirmation of those words.

A low chuckle came from above Alec. She felt Magnus’ hand come to settle on the top of her head. “I’ll look after your friend, my dear. You have my word.”

That settled it. With Magnus’ promise to keep Alec safe, Min took off for her mothers, leaving Alec free to push herself up from the ground. Her earlier wince must’ve been noticed because Magnus moved now to cup her elbow and help brace her a little, though she said nothing. Alec shot her a grateful look once she was back up on her feet.

Unfortunately, rising meant that Alec had to finally turn and face the others, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. To face not only Clary, but Isabelle as well, and Jace, this strange Shadowhunter she didn’t know. Alec was going to have to face them all and answer for so many different things. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Alec straightened herself up despite the ache in her ribs. It took effort to be able to stand tall and meet their eyes. The hope in Isabelle’s – the aching betrayal growing in Clary’s.

There was a hard set to Clary’s face that Alec hadn’t seen in a long time. Not since the time they’d found Simon locked inside a dumpster outside of school. The way Clary had looked then as she’d marched up after his tormentors, the anger in her eyes and the hardness of her face, that was what she wore now as she stood in front of Alec and Magnus. It hurt Alec to see it.

It hurt even more to see it directed toward _her_.

Their stalemate was broken by Magnus. She let go of Alec’s elbow only to slide her hand into the small of Alec’s back as she leaned in a little closer. “Hello, Shadowhunters. I suppose we owe you some thanks for your help tonight.”

Feeling Magnus standing with her like this helped bolster Alec up. It gave her the strength to grip back a little of that warrior that had helped her get through things before. Maybe if she was lucky, it’d provide her the cushion necessary to get through this conversation.

Something about it seemed to have softened Clary a bit. The anger faded a little from her face while her eyes ran over Alec. Some of the remaining anger transformed into worry. “Alec.”

Briefly, Alec wondered what it was she looked like to the young girl. Standing tall, grouped with other warlocks, blood clearly on her body. The blood of the men she’d murdered tonight.

 _Don’t think of that. Don’t think about how you killed them. Don’t think about how satisfying it was_. If Alec did that, she might end up sick right here in the middle of the floor. In an absent, almost childlike way that Alec had so rarely ever allowed herself, she wished for a moment that Dot or Luke were there. The two of them always knew what to say to pull Alec out of her head.

A thought hit Alec hard then – one that she couldn’t ignore. It was strong enough to push away everything else and send her spinning, twisting to look all around her. _Dot_. Where was Dot? Alec couldn’t see her anywhere in the room, and when she reached out, she couldn’t feel her, either. Fear and guilt hit in almost equal measure. Dammit, Alec hadn’t even thought to check for her, just trusting that her friend would be okay! How could she have forgotten Dot, even for a moment? And why hadn’t the woman come to find them on her own? _Please let her be okay. Please, please let her be okay_.

Unconsciously turning away from their friends, Alec furrowed her brow, pushing her magic out further and further. She could feel the magical signature of everyone in there.

Except Dot.

A tight feeling wrapped its way around Alec’s chest. Her body went still. “Magnus.”

The other woman was there in an instant, pressing in with the hand she still had on Alec’s shoulder. “What is it?”

Though Alec lowered her voice, she knew that her words were audible to most of the room. “I can’t feel Dot.”

Tension fell over the room. Clary’s sharp “What!” was mostly ignored. Alec and Magnus looked over to the warlocks, who, one by one, shook their heads. Catarina looked pained as she added on “I haven’t seen her since the initial attack. But… she wasn’t in the bodies that we found. I didn’t see her anywhere. Or June, Mik, or Zariah.”

Oh, _Raziel_. If they couldn’t feel Dot, couldn’t find her or three others… that left only two options. Because Alec knew Dot wouldn’t have just run away. That meant either someone had taken her and left, or she was… she was…

No. NO! Alec pushed away from Magnus when she felt the crackle of her magic begin to build around her fingers. It grew and grew with the anger and pain and fear that were starting to race their way through her. Too much had happened lately – too much had happened _today_ – and Alec’s control was shakier than she liked. But with what was going on, there was nowhere that Alec could run to try and give herself the space to calm down. All she could do was move away and try to fight her magic back down while her heart was screaming to run through the building and _find Dot._

Sparks were dancing around Alec’s hands in little angry bursts. Alec could hear movement nearby, voices, but she couldn’t focus on them past the furious internal monologue that was reminding her that she had forgotten about Dot instead of being with her, helping her, keeping her _safe_. Alec drew in a deep breath in an attempt to drag back control of her magic.

She heard more shuffling and then Jace’s voice, firm and steady. “You need to stay back. She’s not in control of her magic right now.”

“Alec won’t hurt me.” That was Clary. No one did scornful quite like she did. She sounded offended at even the mere suggestion that Alec might harm her.

Magnus’ low voice came next, soothing in its easy cadence. “She might not mean to, biscuit, but sometimes it’s not always easy when we’re upset. Give her a moment.”

Alec could’ve told them it wouldn’t work. Clary was too damn stubborn to listen to anyone. Especially about things that concerned her friends. Her own safety wouldn’t be a priority in that moment, which was why Alec had always been so careful to look out for her. Someone had to.

The scoff Clary let out this time was full of annoyance and an edge of disgust. “You guys don’t know Alec like I do. I’ve known her my whole life. She’d rip her arm off before she let herself hurt me.” With no more warning than that, there was movement and a low grunt from someone – likely thanks to Clary’s elbows, she was dangerous with those – and then Alec blinked her eyes open to find that Clary was standing right there in front of her.

“Alec…”

“Don’t touch me,” Alec blurted out. She wanted to step back, move away, only she knew Clary would just follow her. Instead she had to fight to do her best and get her magic under control.

Clary gave her a bright smile like this whole thing was no big deal. Like they were in Clary’s room again talking about something simple, something stupid, and not Alec being a hair away from magically exploding. “That’s fine, I won’t. I know you don’t like being touched sometimes anyway. I can respect that.”

“Says the girl who likes to throw herself on top of me without any warning whatsoever.”

Even as Alec said the words, she smiled a little. While Clary might not have any issue climbing into bed with Alec, or dropping on top of her on the couch, or randomly jumping onto her back for a piggyback ride, she was also extremely respectful of the times when Alec wasn’t in the mood for physical contact. So much so that she’d been known to shove people out of the way who got too close when Alec was feeling that way.

Alec may have appointed herself Clary’s bodyguard all those years ago, but in her own way, Clary had given herself the position of Alec’s bodyguard right back.

The magic on Alec’s hands was going down little by little with their back-and-forth teasing. Clary must’ve noticed. Her eyes flicked down and then back up, and her grin grew a little bigger. “You love me an you know it.”

“Yeah, well, no one ever claimed I was mentally healthy,” Alec said dryly.

Her humor earned a snort from behind them. It made Clary laugh, though, which had been Alec’s intention.

As Alec’s magic finally, _finally_ , tucked its way back underneath her skin, Alec took a moment to just breathe. Breathe through the fear, the panic, all of it, and try to focus on what was important: finding Dot.

Clary smiled a little when she saw that Alec was finally calm. The anger was still there, as was the hurt, but it was tempered by the love that existed between the two girls. “There we go,” Clary said, nodding at her. “Feeling better?”

There wasn’t a chance for Alec to answer. They were cut off by Magnus, who cleared her throat to draw all their attention.

“Much as I hate to interrupt this touching moment, and truly, I do – we need to move. The lair has been compromised.” The High Warlock stepped forward and took in everyone and everything with one sweeping look. Briefly, her eyes settled on Catarina, who stood a little straighter. “Can you get them all to the secondary safehouse? Just until we ascertain what exactly the situation looks like.”

Catarina didn’t hesitate to nod. “Once you get your apartment out of here, I’ll take the others over.” Her gaze drifted away from Magnus, and to Alec’s surprise, it settled on _her_. For one second her eyes darted to Clary and then were back on Alec. “Before I go, would you let me heal you?”

“I’m fine.” The answer came out instinctively. Alec didn’t even pause to think about it.

Judging by the way that Catarina looked, she didn’t quite believe her. Nor was she all that surprised. “Suit yourself.”

“All right, everyone,” Magnus called out. She moved to the middle of the living room and planted her feet. “Those of you coming with, I suggest you hang on.”

Alec immediately reached out and caught hold of Clary’s shoulder, banishing the blood of her hands first with just a thought. Though it made her ribs ache, she drew her friend in close, and she was pleased to find that Clary let her. The younger girl even reached out to curl her arm around Alec’s waist in her own form of offering support. Together, the two held on as Magnus gathered power in her palms and, in one of the most attractive displays of power that Alec had ever seen, slammed her hands out to the sides, down, and up, grabbing hold of the apartment and everything in it – leaving behind the other warlocks – and transported them somewhere else.

The ride was much smoother than Magnus had predicted. Alec felt the magic wash over her and Clary, and then the shift in the air, in everything, until there was a small jolt and then the magic faded.

When Alec looked up she could see out the windows behind where Isabelle and Jace stood. The scenery had changed. They were clearly somewhere else now. Though clearly still in Brooklyn.

“Woah,” Clary breathed out, looking all around her. “That was _awesome_.”

Jace moved away from the wall, clearly wanting to come toward Clary, check on her. The look he shot at Alec wasn’t rude, but it wasn’t exactly filled with trust, and she felt her shoulders go back and her lip curl up just a little. Who was he to give her that kind of look? She’d done absolutely nothing to him. As far as he knew, she was just some random warlock. And if he was feeling defensive over Clary, he’d known her, what? Two days now?

Or was it just that he had a problem with Clary touching some warlock? That idea brought Alec’s glare out full force. She deliberately drew Clary in a little closer, the two of them automatically adjusting to the familiar hold, and shot her glare at Jace over the girl’s head. “Problems, Shadowhunter?”

“Oh no,” Clary interjected, not giving Jace time to answer. She pointed at him and then turned and pointed at Alec. “We’re not starting this. You are _not_ getting into a pissing match with the only guy who has given me straight answers – apparently _ever_.”

That had Alec wincing. She opened her mouth to try and defend herself, only for Clary to turn that finger back to Jace.

“And you! No matter how mad I am at her, Alec has been like a sister to me for the past ten years. So watch it.”

While Jace looked stunned, Alec felt herself wanting to smile. Just a little. This was the girl she’d always known. The angry little spitfire who stuck up for anyone she saw being treated unfairly. No matter who it meant she had to go up against. It usually helped that while Clary attacked with words, she often had Alec standing menacingly behind her. Clary probably didn’t even realize how many fights Alec had saved her from just from her sheer presence alone.

When Clary turned back to Alec once more, the look on her face wiped away any urge to smile that Alec might’ve felt. She was clearly still unhappy, and more than a little mad. But she also looked like she’d finally calmed down enough for her to actually _talk_.

As if to prove that, Clary abruptly asked “Can we talk alone somewhere? Please?”

“Use my bedroom, darling. It has the best wards in the house,” Magnus offered. She gave Alec a sly wink as she added on “No one can hear a thing that goes on in there. I’ve tested it myself. Thoroughly.”

The smirk that went with that almost had Alec blushing. If she hadn’t been so tired, she probably would have.

Clary, however, ignored the innuendo completely and nodded while she reached out to grab Alec’s wrist. “Great. Thank you.”

“No problem.” With a lazy wave of her hand, Magnus gestured off toward the far side of the room. They both heard the sound of the doors opening, telling them where to go. Clary wasted no time in dragging Alec off in that direction. What else could Alec do but follow along? She just prayed that, by the time this conversation was done with, she’d still be able to walk back out of there with her friend at her side.


	6. Chapter 6

The two of them barely made it in Magnus’ bedroom and got the door shut before Clary spun around and punched Alec’s arm. Hard.

Alec turned and glared at her. “Hey!”

“I can’t _believe_ you!”

“You’re lucky I didn’t deck you, Clary!” Alec snapped back. “I’ve barely got it all shut back off from the fight!”

Clary ignored her and waved a hand like it wasn’t important. She looked furious, fists on her hips and a glare on her face. “I can’t believe you never told me!”

Okay, so they were just going to jump right into this, then. Great. Sighing, Alec closed her eyes for a second and fought down her annoyance. One of them had to stay calm in this conversation. “It wasn’t just my secret to tell, Clary.” When she saw Clary open her mouth, fire in her eyes, Alec quickly held up a hand. “No, please. Let me say this, okay?”

She waited long enough for Clary to huff and nod, arms now crossed over her chest, to continue.

“Like I said, this wasn’t just my secret. Your mother made it very clear when I first came to stay with Dot that I wasn’t allowed to tell you anything about the Shadow World. Considering my situation, I wasn’t willing to risk anything to get myself kicked out of there. And after, even when I was sure I wouldn’t get kicked out, or that I could survive when I did, what was I supposed to do? Tell you – hey, I’ve been lying to you for years now, sorry, but here let me show you how magic and monsters are real, and pretty much your entire family is something supernatural?”

“Better than letting me find it out like this!” Clary snapped.

Dipping her head in acknowledgment of that point, Alec spread her hands out. “I know it wasn’t right, what we did. But it was the only choice I could see for myself. I knew your Mom planned on telling you when you hit eighteen. Things just… happened to stop that. But she was planning on telling you, kiddo. I promise.”

For a moment Clary just stood there glaring at her. Alec gave her the time she needed to process things. It was always better to give Clary a moment to let words sink in. If she was pushed too hard, too fast, that was when her hot-headed side would come out and get her in trouble.

After a short pause Alec got to watch as some of the anger faded off of Clary’s face. “Don’t call me kiddo,” she said, almost absently, and a relieved grin lit up Alec’s face. Seeing it, Clary rolled her eyes. Yet she also dropped down onto the bed in a much more relaxed pose than she’d been standing in before. “This is all so messed up.”

Slowly, not quite sure if it was safe yet, Alec moved over to join Clary on the edge of Magnus’ bed. “I’m sorry, Carrot.”

Sighing, Clary reached out and took hold of Alec’s hand, holding on in the space between them. They sat together in the quiet for a minute longer. Alec was content to give Clary the time she needed to process.

When Clary spoke up again, the question wasn’t what Alec had expected, though really it should’ve been. “Are you really Dot’s cousin?”

Smiling, Alec shook her head. Of course Clary would think of something like that to ask. “No. Warlocks are infertile, they can’t have kids. And most of them you’ll meet are old enough that any biological family they might’ve had are long gone.”

Clary looked up, eyebrows furrowed down. “If they’re infertile, how are there even any more warlocks out there?”

So the others hadn’t gotten that far into explaining things yet. Alec supposed that was a blessing. From what she remembered of her own lessons, Shadowhunters weren’t exactly kind in explaining this part of things.

“Human mom, demon dad,” Alec’s voice went just a little flat. It was something she didn’t like to think about. The idea that maybe this had happened to her own mother – that she’d been created from something like _that_. Yet Clary deserved answers, and Alec was going to give them to her. No more lies. “More often than not, warlocks are the product of rape. Though sometimes a demon is a shapeshifter and they can take on the appearance of whoever they want, seduce who they want. The end result is the same though. A child born half human, half demon. Which is why even the decent Shadowhunters don’t really like warlocks.”

It was no real surprise, though a bit of a reassurance, to see the way that Clary instantly looked upset and offended on her behalf. “That’s stupid! It’s not your fault how you’re born!”

Alec gave her hand a grateful squeeze. Hearing Clary’s instant defense soothed a little something inside of Alec. Made it easier to keep going. “I know. I’m just telling you how it is.” Then, without Clary having to ask, Alec started to explain her own story. “I’m a bit different than most, though, which is something I very much need you to keep within the walls of this loft. If word got out, it’d get me more than just the disgust Shadowhunters treat warlocks with. They would kill me, Clary, or lock me up and turn me into a test subject.”

Wide eyes were locked right on Alec. In them was that fierce protective light that Clary was so known for. “I won’t tell anyone. And I won’t let them lay a hand on you.”

The fact that she thought she could do anything against it had Alec giving her a small smile. Clary didn’t yet know the Clave the way Alec did. She didn’t understand what would happen. But Alec trusted her to keep this quiet. Clary wouldn’t go blabbing her secret to anyone.

With a deep breath, Alec looked off toward the door. For the second time in a couple days she was going to hand over her secrets. At least this time it was someone she knew without a single doubt she could trust. “I wasn’t born to a human family. I was born a Shadowhunter.”

“ _Woah_.”

“It’s not supposed to be possible,” Alec said, ignoring Clary’s soft outburst. “I don’t know what happened to create me, or how. Hell, until I was ten I had no idea what I even was. Not until the night that the demon blood in me grew strong enough to break free from whatever kept it suppressed. I woke up in the middle of the night with my magic there, my bedroom torn apart, and my warlock mark on clear display. I ran away that same night. I wasn’t going to stay and let them kill me.”

“They… they really would’ve killed you? But you were a kid!”

Alec shook her head. Her eyes, when they turned back toward Clary, were sad. Old and sad in ways that went beyond her twenty years. “Yes, they would. I’m not something that’s supposed to be possible to exist, Clary. Despite the fact that they all decry Valentine and his goals, none of them actually care for Downworlders. Or respect them.”

Quiet fell over the bedroom. The two sat there side by side just letting everything Alec had said soak in. There was so much more going on than Clary had likely expected. She was getting so much thrown at her – was it any wonder she was having a hard time processing it all?

“I won’t tell anyone,” Clary murmured suddenly. She looked up at Alec, and for a moment she looked a lot like the young girl she’d once been. The very same one who had looked at Alec while sitting together up on the rooftop of their building and promised her she wouldn’t tell anyone that Alec liked girls. That it was okay, and she was able to come out when she was ready, not when anyone else was.

She’d kept Alec’s secret back then. While this one was bigger, it didn’t matter. Clary had given her word, and Alec knew. She knew she could trust her.

She smiled softly at her friend. “I know you won’t.”

The smile she got in return was the easiest one that Clary had given yet.

After another moment of silence, the younger girl finally let out a sigh and rubbed at her face. “As much as I’d love to sit and talk about all this – and we’ve got so much to talk about, so many things you have to tell me – we should probably get back out there, huh?”

“Yeah, probably.” Though really, that was the last thing Alec wanted. Clary wasn’t the only one who’d had a lot happen to her in the past couple days. Today alone was enough to take ages to process. Some of which she couldn’t bring herself to talk about with her young friend, no matter that Clary was a Shadowhunter now or not. Some things she just wasn’t ready to hear. “You go on ahead. I’ll join you guys in a minute, okay?”

Clary nodded, looking at Alec with so much understanding it was almost her undoing. She leaned in, giving Alec a quick, tight hug. “I’ll go talk to the others. Take all the time you need.” With that she was gone, closing the door softly behind her as she went.

For a moment more Alec took advantage of Magnus’ hospitality. She sat there and let herself bend, just a little. The urge to flop back on the bed was almost irresistible, but she settled instead for bringing a hand up to wipe at her face and pinch the bridge of her nose.

That had been so much easier and yet so much harder than Alec had expected. The day she’d had probably hadn’t help.

Despite that, however, there was a slight lessening of the weight on Alec’s shoulders. Talking to Clary had helped. Knowing that her friend knew and understood, at least to the best of her ability, and still loved her – it meant everything. Alec could breathe a little easier now that she knew Clary wasn’t going to abandon her. That she was still there, and she still cared.

But the fear for Dot made it hard to enjoy any kind of peace. Alec wanted to be out there right now looking for her. Only, the logical side of her knew better. Dot wouldn’t have just vanished on her own. If Catarina hadn’t found her in the safehouse, or when she was evacuating everyone, there was only one logical place for her to be and there was no racing out of here to save her.

 _I’m so sorry,_ Alec thought, rubbing at her nose. _I’m sorry I was in such a hurry to go protect Clary that I forgot to help protect you. Angel, I’m so sorry, Dot. I’ll do everything I can to find you, I swear. Just, please stay alive until then. Please._

Caught up in her thoughts, Alec didn’t sense anyone coming until she heard the door open.

When she looked up, she found Magnus poking her head in. The other woman smiled as soon as Alec was looking at her, and then she pushed the door the rest of the way open and came fully into the room, using a bit of magic to shut the door behind her once more. “I hope you don’t mind my interruption.”

“It’s your bedroom,” Alec pointed out, abruptly reminded of that once more.

The grin on Magnus’ face said _she_ hadn’t forgotten that fact. Nor had she missed exactly where it was Alec was sitting. “Yes. Yes it is.”

Rolling her eyes, Alec lifted a finger and pointed it at the other woman. “No. Don’t even start.”

Magnus held both her hands up in a gesture of innocence that was completely offset by the devilish grin she was still wearing. “I’ll be good, I promise.” When Alec gave her a skeptical look, she chuckled and lowered her hands, waggling one a little in front of her for a moment. “Mostly good. How about that?”

“A bit more believable.”

“You wound me, Cinderella! Truly, you do.”

The fake offense on her face had Alec snorting. Without planning it, she found herself smiling, though. “Somehow I’m sure you’ll survive.” Abruptly Alec remembered where they were, and what should be going on, and she slid an arm around her waist while pushing up to her feet. “I’m sorry, you probably actually need your room for something. I’ll just go back out with the others and get out of your way.”

“No, no.” Magnus held one hand up with her palm out toward Alec even as she shook her head and stepped a bit closer. “I wasn’t here to throw you out, darling. I was hoping to catch you and talk with you for a moment before you go back out there.”

What? Really? “Why?”

“I know you turned down Catarina’s offer out in front of everyone else back there, but I also happen to have been with you while fighting and know that you were hit pretty hard. Not to mention how you struck your back against the door frame.” Magnus watched her with open concern, taking in the way that Alec still had her arm around her waist. “Would you let me take a look at it?”

There was no reason why Alec shouldn’t say yes. None at all. Magnus was right – she was hurt. And she hadn’t wanted to allow Catarina to heal it because she’d been feeling too raw at the moment, and because too many people were watching. But here, away from everyone, with just Magnus? The idea didn’t seem so bad.

No one was around to see them in that moment. No one watching that Alec really had to make a good impression in front of or hide her weakness from. The fact that she didn’t really think of hiding it from Magnus was kind of surprising, though.

Alec looked over at Magnus, who was waiting calmly, patiently, like it didn’t matter either way to her how Alec answered. Though, Alec knew that was a lie. She remembered how upset Magnus had been before when Alec had been hurting and hadn’t said anything.

Sighing, she nodded her head.

Which was how Alec ended up standing at the bathroom door for better lighting, her hands braced on the doorframe, jacket tossed on the bed, and her shirt drawn up and tucked into the bottom of her bra. It revealed most of her back to the other woman. To Magnus’ credit, she didn’t comment on all that exposed skin the way she likely wanted to. Though that might’ve been because she was too busy giving a pained hiss at the sight of the bruising there.

“I thought we had a talk about keeping quiet when in pain,” Magnus scolded her.

Alec tilted her head in until her forehead was resting on her hands. It eased a little of the pressure off her ribs. “I hadn’t really noticed it too much yet.”

“Hadn’t noticed it.” Magnus snapped her fingers, and then Alec felt the first waves of healing energy start to run across her back like soothing water. “You have a bruise bigger than both my hands combined, as well as…” The magic shifted a little toward the front. Magnus made a sound that was a mix between a huff and a growl. “Three cracked ribs. Yes, I can see how you _hadn’t really noticed it too much yet._ ”

The attempt to mock Alec’s tone had her smiling. She chose to focus on that instead of the rest of it. This wasn’t the first time she’d been hurt, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. Not in these current times.

Feeling her ribs snap back into place was enough to have Alec turning her head so that she could bite at her wrist. That was the only thing that kept the shout locked down inside. Sometimes healing could hurt almost as much as the injury itself.

“Sorry,” Magnus murmured behind her. “Almost done, darling. Just a little more. Some of this bruising is pretty deep.”

Alec pulled back from her wrist, only to press her forehead against the back of her hand. “It’s fine.”

The sound that Magnus made was probably closer to a coo than anything else. Her magic got a little warmer, soothing away some of the residual ache that was in the spots she’d just healed, and Alec let out a deep breath that felt like it came all the way from her toes. Her body slumped a little at the pain relief.

She was a bit surprised – and maybe just a little disappointed – when Magnus pulled her hand away once the healing was done, and used a twist of magic to tug her shirt free from her bra and bring it back down over her side. It was extremely respectful, and yet Alec wouldn’t have minded just the small touch. A brush of knuckles against skin.

“There, better?”

“Mm.” Alec released her grip on the door and turned herself and lowered her arms down. She didn’t move away from the door, though, just let herself lean back against it for a moment and look Magnus over. When she saw the tear in the other woman’s sleeve, she made a gesture with her hand. “Let me return the favor?”

A little spark of gold was there and gone again in Magnus’ eyes. Then she blinked, letting the glamour fall away completely, and Alec was so screwed. So very screwed in all the right ways.

Magnus reached up and took hold of the edges of her jacket, shrugging it off. Underneath it was the black mesh shirt, which she pulled off next, her eyes never once leaving Alec’s. It was a slow, maddening strip tease that Alec couldn’t even break away to watch when she was too caught up in that heavy stare.

It wasn’t until both jacket and over-shirt were on the ground that Alec was finally able to look away. Even then it was likely because Magnus lifted her arm a little and arched one eyebrow in a silent _well_?

When Alec looked down, the wound was almost enough to have her forgetting all about the flirtatious game. That cut had to hurt! It was longer than Alec had realized, and a bit deeper. “And you scold me about not mentioning that I’m hurt!”

“My magic stopped the bleeding,” Magnus said, shrugging her shoulder on the opposite side.

Alec shook her head. With both hands she reached out to gently hold Magnus’ arm; one hand on her elbow to keep it in place and the other hovering over top of the wound. “If you expect me to let you know when I’m hurt, I expect the same courtesy in return.”

Looking down the way she was Alec missed how the lines on Magnus’ face softened just a little at that, as well as the way she smiled oh-so-softly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Hold steady.” Alec flicked her middle finger against her thumb and _sparked_ the magic that sat inside her. She reached out, letting the blue waves run gently over the wound, assessing it first. There was no muscle damage underneath, thank the Angel, though the cut was pretty deep. She could feel where Magnus’ own magic had gone to help hold it together. She could also feel the resistance it was meeting.

The wound had been made by an angelic weapon against someone with demon blood. That wasn’t something that could be easily healed.

Luckily for them, Alec’s magic wasn’t purely demonic. She drew a little more of it from both sides of her, demonic and angelic, and watched as her magic changed from blue to a mix of blue and white.

She could hear Magnus make a soft, surprised sound. “What are you doing?”

“The wound was made by an angel blade. I’ve accidentally cut myself on one before, so I know they tend to heal slower. Magic based in demonic energy isn’t going to do as good of a job as it would against, say, a demon wound.” Alec drew a little more of the angelic side. The power she was holding changed again, the blue and white mixing together until it was a pale blue, like the summer sky. “So, I drew a little on the angelic side of my powers.”

“You can _do_ that?”

“It’s the same theory as using an iratze to heal something. They work on angelic wounds better than they do demon wounds, which is why bad ones require calling in a warlock to heal. It’s just, most Shadowhunters don’t have the ability to harness that kind of magic in their body outside of runes, and even then they have to use a stele to do it.”

The last of the wound finished knitting together. Alec smiled a little and drew her hand back, banishing the magic as she did.

When she looked up she found that Magnus was watching her with wide eyes. “But, how did you stop the angelic magic from causing even more damage?”

Confusion furrowed Alec’s brow. “Why would it cause more damage?”

“Because I’m half demon,” Magnus said slowly, a clear ‘duh’ in her tone. “I can’t carry runes the way that you can without a very, very grisly death. So, in theory, the magic from your runes should cause the same thing.”

“Uh, no?” That made no sense at all. Maybe Alec just wasn’t explaining it right. “Runes and such are like a conduit, calling up the magic that’s already in our blood that we just can’t access. The reason that those who aren’t nephilim can’t bear them is because it’s an angelic mark reaching for a type of magic your body just doesn’t have. What I’m doing isn’t trying to draw on any inner magic from you. I’m taking my own magic and using it _on_ you.”

The more that Alec spoke, the more interested Magnus looked. She opened her mouth, what looked like thousands of questions already on the tip of her tongue, only to cut herself off with a huff. “Now is not the time for this.” The words weren’t just for her. They were a reminder to the both of them. Though Magnus lifted up a finger afterward and pointed it right at Alec’s nose. “Don’t think this means you’re getting out of this conversation, though. I’m going to pin you down yet and pick your brain about this.”

Alec pushed off the door frame and, much to Magnus’ clear surprise, kissed the tip of her extended finger. “Maybe you can ask me about it on our next date.”

She walked away, smirk only growing as Magnus called out “You’re a menace, darling.” Then, lower, probably not meant for Alec to hear, “Of the very best kind.”

Hearing that was a nice little boost for Alec’s ego. To know that there was a chance that Magnus was just as affected by their flirtations as she was.

Thanks to the healing, and maybe even a bit of thanks to the flirting for helping her emotions level out a bit, Alec was much steadier when she and Magnus walked out to the main room to join the others.


	7. Chapter 7

Alec was much steadier when she and Magnus walked back out to the main room to join the others. After her conversation with Clary she felt a little more like she could breathe. It helped, knowing that her friend wasn’t mad at her. However, there was one last important person in the room to greet, and Alec thought only briefly about ignoring her. About waiting until they could be alone to do it.

Isabelle would go along with it, she knew. She’d understand that there was another Shadowhunter here that Alec didn’t know and didn’t trust.

But then Alec got out there. She took one look at Isabelle’s bright, worried eyes and any plans about being discreet were shot out the window. It only helped when Isabelle nodded at her, and she said a soft “It’s okay, he knows. At least a little,” while darting her eyes over to Jace and back. “I trust him.”

That was all Alec needed to hear. She held her arms open and braced one foot back in preparation for the impact of her baby sister, who didn’t disappoint.

In a flash Isabelle was taking off across the room and straight for Alec. Thank the Angel they’d waited until they were away from the other warlocks. That meant Alec didn’t give a damn who saw as Isabelle slammed into her and the girls hugged one another tightly as if it’d been years and not just over four months since they’d last saw one another.

During all of Alec’s time away they’d only managed a few visits as Isabelle got older. Brief moments stolen away in dark parks at nighttime. Patrols that Isabelle wasn’t supposed to be a part of – was, in fact, letting others think she was out partying or drinking or whatever else. Secret fire messages from a little sister who had refused to let her vanish after running away.

Alec held Isabelle against her and let herself draw in the comfort of holding her sister safe and sound.

“Raziel, I’ve missed you,” Isabelle said against her neck. Then she was drawing back, grasping hold of Alec’s shoulders while she looked her over from head to toe like she’d be able to suss out any injury that Alec had. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m good,” Alec said, reaching up to tuck a bit of Isabelle’s hair behind her ear. “You? Are you okay?”

Isabelle waved it off like it was no big deal. At the stern look Alec gave her, she laughed. “I’m fine. Not even a scratch on me. Judging by the bodies, I’d say you guys had all the fun before we even got here. Jace was the only one who got to do anything fun.”

For the first time Alec was able to take that name and actually place where she’d heard it before. This must be the boy that Isabelle had told her about, then. The one that Maryse and Robert had taken in not even a year after Alec’s disappearance.

On Alec’s better days, she was grateful for the fact that Isabelle had someone with her as she grew up. Someone to help her shoulder the burden of their parents expectations and disappointments.

On her worse days, a part of Alec hated him for being able to be there when she couldn’t. For getting to watch Isabelle grow up instead of being forced to only get glimpses of it here and there, or to hear it through phone calls. Had he been the one to be there after Isabelle’s first date? When she first realized she liked boys and girls? Had he held her the first time she’d cried over someone? Gone to her room at night to comfort her after a nightmare, or after another of Maryse’s ‘you’re such a disappointment’ speeches?

Jace was looking at her a lot differently now. Alec was willing to bet that he hadn’t known who she was before this. Or at least, not enough to match the name to the face. Isabelle must’ve said something to him while Alec was back in Magnus’ bedroom.

However, the look on Clary’s face reminded Alec that, while she’d announced to her that she was a Shadowhunter, she’d failed to mention that Isabelle was her sister. Judging by the way Clary was watching her now, that realization was hitting her. “Oh my God, you and Izzy are _sisters_?”

“Alec is my big sister,” Isabelle said proudly, without any hint of shame to her words. She _was_ proud of it, which was something that Alec would always be grateful for. The knowledge that her sister truly loved her no matter who or what Alec was, or what she became.

“So Maryse is your Mom?” Clary winkled her nose and looked away. “No wonder you ran away.”

Those words hit harder than Clary probably meant them to. Alec knew she was just ranting a little about Maryse – it wasn’t likely that the woman had become soft and cuddly in Alec’s time away. After one disastrous attempt, Isabelle respected Alec’s wishes and avoided talking about their parents. But still, thinking of _why_ Alec had left and how much Maryse had played a role in that, at least in Alec’s mind, hurt.

Their conversation was cut off by a surprising source.

“I get that there’s a lot of family moments happening here, but we’re kind of running on limited time before people notice we’re not around the Institute,” Jace said abruptly.

His words worked as a dash of cold water over the rest of them. Alec straightened up a little, the smile slipping off her face, while Clary spun to face Magnus as if she’d just remembered why it was they’d come here. She didn’t have to open her mouth for Alec to know what she was going to do.

Sure enough, “Jace is right. We came to meet with you tonight hoping you’d be able to get my memories back.”

For her part, Magnus looked almost _bored._ She didn’t flinch at Clary’s sudden words, nor at the attention of the room being turned her way. It looked like she’d actually been focused a bit on cleanup while the sisters had greeted one another. Alec took note of how any signs of a struggle were gone. No burn marks, no blood, no overturned furniture.

“I told you, Clarissa. I fed them to a memory demon. Getting them back isn’t as simple as snapping my fingers.” As if to demonstrate, Magnus snapped her fingers and called up a martini for herself. After a moment’s hesitation, she quirked an eyebrow and looked to Alec, a tilt to her head that was a silent question. At Alec’s shrug, there was another snap and Alec found herself holding one of the cocktails that they’d discovered together she liked so much. One of the green ones that Alec wasn’t sure of the name of.

Their antics had Jace rolling his eyes. Clary shot a half-glare Alec’s way as if _she_ were the reason they were all getting distracted from this. Then she turned her focus right back on Magnus. “Isn’t there any way you can, I don’t know, summon the demon? Get them back?” Clary must’ve been able to tell that Magnus was wavering, just a little, because she took another step closer and turned on the pleading voice that had allowed her to get away with so much with Jocelyn and Luke both. “Please, Magnus. We need whatever we can to fight this battle. Valentine, he found you once, he will find you again. We need to work together. Help me.”

Magnus took a sip off her martini while watching Clary over the top of it. There was a brief moment of calculation in her eyes that was quickly shielded by her lashes. Alec watched the decision build on her face.

“I can summon the demon, but you must be the one to make the demand,” Magnus finally said. “But trust me when I tell you, retrieving your memories will not be easy, biscuit. It takes more than simply summoning them and _asking_.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” Clary said, all bravado. The poor girl. She had no idea what she was doing here.

Alec didn’t hesitate to point that out, either. “Don’t be so quick to agree, Clare. Do you even understand what it is you’re going to have to do? What kind of payment the demon is going to ask for?” At her surprised look, Alec nodded. “Yeah. Like Magnus said, it’s more than just summoning them and asking for your memories back. Demons either need force or payment of some kind to do your bidding. You’ll have to give something up, and likely it’s going to be something you don’t want to part with.”

None of Alec’s words were working to deter her. She could see that. Clary stood even straighter with each word Alec spoke. “It’s my mom, Alec. My _mom_. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to bring her back.”

 _Did I ever have such naïve optimism?_ Alec shook her head. Nothing she said was going to stop Clary from going forward with this. If Alec thought it’d do any good, she’d argue with her. But she was smart enough to know when she wasn’t going to win at something. This was one of those moments. Better to save her breath for an argument she _could_ win.

“All right!” Magnus lifted her glass and drained the last of her martini like it was a shot. Then she threw her glass over her shoulder and clapped her hands together, completely ignoring the way the glass had shattered on the ground behind her, or the stunned looks she got because of it. “Biscuit, you’re with me. If we’re going to do this, we need to get to work.”

Though Alec hadn’t exactly been involved in things like demon summonings, she’d studied enough books to know the general idea of what they were about to do. For the moment there was nothing on her part that she could really do. If Alec remembered right, the symbol on the floor needed to be drawn by the one asking the favor, which was why Magnus had taken Clary with her. But that just left Alec, Isabelle, and this Jace person standing there waiting around for Clary to get done.

Of course, Alec should’ve known that Isabelle wouldn’t allow the moment to stay quiet or awkward for long.

She was still against Alec’s side, and she shamelessly used that to catch Alec off guard and grab hold of her arm, yanking her forward a few steps. “Come on, it’s about time the two of you met properly. I told Jace all about you _years_ ago.”

“And thanks for asking my permission about that,” Alec felt compelled to point out. Though it’d worked out for the best, what if it hadn’t? What if Jace hadn’t been someone Isabelle could trust?

A hint of sheepishness crossed Isabelle’s face. Something that wouldn’t typically be seen there. It didn’t stay for long, though. “He’s good people, Alec. He’s even covered for me a time or two so I could go see you.”

They’d reached Jace by that point, and though he was standing up a little straighter, some of the cocky air that Alec had noticed before seemed to be gone. He was smiling in an open and friendly sort of way. “Don’t worry,” he said, his mismatched eyes glinting a little with what Alec thought might be good humor. “Izzy made sure to make me swear a blood oath of secrecy before she told me anything.”

Of course she had. Alec’s lips twitched as she tried to picture that. It wasn’t difficult. “Did she make you spit?”

Jace’s eyes went wide at that question. Then it all melted away into a big, bright grin. “No. Just cut our fingers and mix them together.”

Chuckling, Alec nodded. “Yeah, I wouldn’t do that one with her. So she said I had to do this mundane trick she’d learned about spitting in our hands and shaking on it.”

“Oh no,” Isabelle interjected. She leaned in against Alec and pretended to try and shove her back out of the way. “No, no, no. I didn’t introduce you two so you could turn it into pick-on-Izzy time.”

Alec reached up to ruffle Isabelle’s hair, grinning at her. “It’s _always_ pick-on-Izzy time.”

“It’s what older siblings are for,” Jace said agreeably.

“Like hell!” Planting her feet, Isabelle put a hand on each of their chests, glaring from one to the next in a way that any fool could see wasn’t serious. She was having way too much fun with this. “That’s it, I’ve changed my mind. You two aren’t allowed to be friends anymore.”

They met eyes over top of Isabelle’s head. In that look it was easy for Alec to see just how much Jace cared about Isabelle. How much he really did think of her like a little sister. That affection – love – was written all over him. And how on earth could Alec hate anyone who loved her sister that much?

Their teasing was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. All three turned to find Magnus standing in the doorway to the other room. She was smirking at them, clearly more than a little amused by them all. At least she didn’t say anything about it. She just lifted a hand and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Someone needs to go draw the runes to prepare our little Clarissa.”

Though Jace made as if to move, Alec beat him to it. She summoned her stele with just a little magic while she made her way into the little room.

She found Clary on her knees, looking at the pentagram on a paper that she was apparently going to use chalks to recreate on the floor. Alec made a brief mental note of what she saw. Then she turned her focus to her friend. “Hey, Clary.”

Clary’s head darted up, eyes going to Alec. The way her face immediately softened into a smile soothed some of Alec’s remaining worry. If Clary was smiling like that at her, it had to mean she wasn’t really mad anymore. She wasn’t the type to be good at hiding her emotions. She felt way too much, way too strongly, to keep her emotions hidden no matter how hard she tried. Simon liked to joke it was a perfect contrast to the way Alec could ice over and hide _everything_. “Hey, Alec.”

“We need to get you ready for this,” Alec said, wiggling her stele at Clary.

“Oh. Uh, go ahead.” She gestured to her shoulder like it was no big deal. Though she did give Alec a slightly amused look. “I gotta say, it’s still a little weird to see you with one of those in your hand.”

Alec snorted, coming forward to drop down to one knee behind Clary as she did. “Would it help if I let my runes out?” Suiting action to words, she ran her stele over the glamour rune on her arm and let it bleed away, her runes showing up on her skin once more.

The way Clary watched them had Alec wanting to smile. She looked fascinated as she took in each rune Alec had. Most of them were the common battle runes. Others she’d chosen for different reasons. Clary’s eyes took them all in, even up to the one on her neck. “Those look… right on you.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you ever get used to putting them on?” Clary ducked her head a little, eyes darting over Alec’s shoulder almost like she was checking to make sure no one had come close enough to hear. Though no one was there, she lowered her voice a little anyway. “I haven’t quite gotten used to the whole burning bit.”

Any smile Alec might’ve worn was wiped away at that. “You mostly get used to it, at least with regular runes.”

“Let me guess,” Clary said slowly, eyeing the stele in Alec’s hand. “This isn’t a regular rune.”

“From what I understand this memory demon is more like a Greater Demon. That means the rune necessary to help keep you safe needs to be stronger. It, won’t be pleasant.”

She hated the idea that she was going to have to carve a rune like this into Clary’s skin. That she would have to stand here and watch as Clary put herself at risk around a _Greater Demon_. The only thing that made it bearable was knowing that she’d be there with them. And that it was her own hand that was drawing the rune, not someone else’s. Alec wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to stand back and let Jace draw the rune on her.

Clary nodded her head. It was easy to see that she’d made her decision and was trying to firm herself against it. “Do it.”

“Try not to tense too much,” Alec warned her. “Think about something nice.”

“There’s not exactly a whole lot that’s pleasant to think about right now.”

Drawing the stele close to Clary’s skin, Alec took a deep breath, and she tried to make her voice light. “I could have Izzy come and stand in here. That dress she’s in might work as distracting enough.”

The way Clary’s whole face lit up with a blush was something Alec would tease her about later. For the moment, she settled for pressing the stele in before Clary could say anything, hoping desperately that her friend took her advice and focused on that.

Seconds after Alec started, Clary’s screams were echoing loudly around the room.

It was so damn hard to continue to draw that rune knowing just how badly she was hurting her. Clary’s screams weren’t something that Alec was going to be able to forget. Especially knowing that it was because of something _she’d_ done. Alec made her movements as fast as she could while still keeping them accurate. She didn’t want to mess up and have to start over.

When she was finally done, the both of them slumped a little. Clary caught herself with one hand flat on the ground. To her credit, she only stayed there for a moment, sucking in a few breaths to ground herself. Then she tossed her hair back and turned enough to give Alec a weak grin. “Well, that was fun.”

Alec huffed and rolled her eyes at her. “Understatement, firecracker.”

The use of that old nickname had Clary’s smile gentling a little. It wasn’t one that came out all that often. “I’m all right, Alec. Really.”

“I don’t like hurting you,” Alec admitted quietly. She snuck a look over at the door, and after a second’s hesitation she used magic to shut it. Conversations like this were better had alone.

Clary reached out to brush her hand over Alec’s arm while she straightened back up onto her knees again. “I know. But this is important.”

“I know it is. And I’ll help you whatever way I can. Your Mom and I might not always have seen eye to eye, but she was a good woman.” Most of the time. Alec had a few issues with her, just as she knew Jocelyn had a few issues with Alec, but that didn’t mean Alec was going to abandon her to whatever had happened.

“I know, Alec. Thank you.”

Silence fell over the two of them. Clary sifted through the chalks that Magnus must have left her, eyes going back to the drawing. Alec shifted herself into an easy squat just enough out of the way to not disturb Clary’s work. She folded her arms and rested them on her knees, hunching over a little until she was in a curled up ball balanced on her feet. There she stayed, a silent sentinel watching as Clary worked her own brand of magic.

* * *

It took less time than it might’ve for most to finish the drawing. Clary shared Jocelyn’s talent with drawing, which Magnus let her know when she came back into the room with the others.

Clary straightened up, stretching herself out a little from the strange positions she’d put herself in to do it all. “Thank you.” Her smile dropped down toward Alec, turning into a pinched nose look. “God, would you stop being a robot and stand up? You know it creeps me out when you do that.”

“Your face creeps me out,” Alec shot back. Still, she pushed up from her squatting position and smoothly rose to her feet. She might’ve made a production of keeping the movement as smooth as possible just to piss Clary off. She absolutely hated how Alec could go so still and not react at all like it left her body sore or aching.

Clary stuck her tongue out, a grownup response to Alec’s grownup comeback. “It’s not fair. That’s not even like, a Shadowhunter thing, is it? Even with runes I don’t think I could do that.”

“It’s sort of a Shadowhunter thing,” Isabelle said, smiling fondly at Alec. “She was always good at those lessons when we were kids. Alec took to all the balance and flexibility stuff better than the rest of us. She can do most of the moves without using her runes.”

That had someone else in the room perking up. “Is that so?” Magnus asked with a grin.

Alec rolled her eyes, yet she couldn’t quite stop herself from smiling over at Magnus right afterward. A hint of boldness had her returning one of Magnus’ many winks. “That’s not fourth date conversation.”

A laugh from Isabelle was cut in with Clary’s “Wait – _what_?” and Jace’s low chuckles.

Magnus bounced up on her toes a little while holding up her hands, waving them at Alec. “Oh no, no. As fun as our last action-packed date was, I assure you, darling, a demon summoning is not fourth date material.”

“What, you like to save that for the fifth? Sixth?”

“Can you two save the flirting for a better time?” Jace asked them. He didn’t sound offended despite his words, and there was a hint of a smile still at the edges of his lips.

He wasn’t wrong, either. They needed to focus on what they were doing. They had a goal here – an important one.

Magnus directed them each to their spots on the pentagram. She stopped by Alec, one eyebrow going up. “Have you ever done a demon summoning before, my dear?”

Alec shook her head. “Dot wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. She always said it’d have to wait until I was more willing to meet with other warlocks.” Besides which, Alec had never really wanted to. She was too much a Shadowhunter to want to summon a demon for anything. Her first instinct when it came to demons would likely always be _kill them_.

Amusement tugged at the corners of Magnus’ mouth. Something of Alec’s inner thoughts must’ve peeked out, or else Magnus was just continuing to read her far too easily. “Well, you’re next to me then, darling. Not only do I need to make sure your magic stays out of this, we can also count it as a learning experience.” She held a hand out Alec’s way and winked at her. “Pay close attention, there may be a quiz after.”

Far too many _dirty teacher_ jokes popped into Alec’s brain that had her wanting to blush. She remembered just how bad things had been when Clary and Simon had crushed on their science teacher in high school. All the things they’d said came back to Alec now, and for the first time she truly understood.

Magnus let out a low, delighted chuckle. “Whatever you’re thinking about I’m quite sure I’d _love_ to hear. But, alas, those will have to wait. Now, pay attention, Cinderella.”

“ _Cinderella_?” Clary repeated. For someone who had been so focused on their task a moment ago she was sure goggling at Alec now.

At Alec’s side, Isabelle looked utterly _thrilled_ by the whole situation.

“Shut up,” Alec mumbled at them. There was no way she was letting them know that it was usually _leather Cinderella._ They’d have way, way too much fun with that.

Then, thank the Angel, there was no more time to focus on all of that. Magnus got them all situated in their appropriate spots, and she held her hand out toward Alec, smiling as she did. Alec didn’t hesitate to put her hand in Magnus’. The jolt of power she felt had her whole body jerking.

“Careful breath, darling,” Magnus murmured at her. Her power was reaching out from her hand to Alec’s. For a second it shifted into something a bit more soothing. Alec felt its presence in her like a warm blanket curling around her shoulders. It reminded her a little of when Dot would wrap her up in protective magic while they practiced something. The kind of shield that was meant to keep Alec’s magic down in her body where there was no risk of whatever spell they were doing latching on to her if she accidentally got too curious.

Once it was all around her, she felt it shift and spread, moving down to her open hand. Alec lifted it, staring down at the magic she knew the others couldn’t see. Then she turned and held her hand out Jace’s way.

He flashed her a bright smile and took her hand in his. She was pleased to see that she wasn’t the only one who jolted. Jace twitched like he’d been electrocuted. Yet, he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t break the hold. He kept his fingers tightly curled over hers while turning to extend his hand to Clary.

One by one they went around the circle until all of them were holding on to one another. When Isabelle connected her hand to Magnus’, the circuit was complete and Alec felt the power running through them all, one to the next, directed by Magnus into a strong barrier. One that would keep them all safe.

Then Magnus began to chant, and Alec almost lost track of everything with the swell of power in their circle. Whatever words Magnus was saying were lost on Alec. All of her focus was on how the magic in their circle went down, flowing from their joined hands toward the ground to connect with the emblem Clary had drawn down there. When they connected, it was another jolt, one that had Alec sucking in a breath.

Magnus’ grip tightened over hers for a moment. It helped Alec steady herself as the power in their hands began to rise _up_. The chanting grew louder, stronger, and then Alec felt it – the tear in the very fabric of the dimension, right there in the ground in front of them.

Darkness coiled up through that little tear. Whatever Magnus was saying was acting like a fishing line, reaching down in there and hooking on something. Then it began to tug. Slowly at first, and then quicker, faster, _yanking_ at the demon they wanted and pulling them from that dimension to this one.

Alec’s magic was prickling and pushing against the barrier Magnus had put on her. She was grateful for it in that moment. Usually her reaction to demons was pretty strong, even when they were just _nearby._ Being in front of one like this was never easy. This was the point where Alec generally killed them.

But that couldn’t happen with this one. They needed it – needed what it was going to give them.

“It is time!” Magnus called out. “The demon demands payment.”

“What does it want?” Isabelle asked.

“We must each relinquish a beloved memory of the one we love the most.”

One by one their memories played in the air in front of them. Isabelle’s memory was of Alec, Clary’s was of Jocelyn, Jace’s was of Isabelle.

Alec knew what her memory was going to be. It was one that had held her over for such a long time through all the hellish things her life had involved.

She stood there and watched as it played an image of Isabelle, just barely four years old, curled up against Alec’s side in Alec’s bed as the two looked at a storybook. Isabelle was laughing with that carefree look that Alec loved so damn much.

The memory pulled from Magnus was of a blue-skinned woman that Alec recognized as Catarina, and a green-skinned man she’d never seen before, as well as another male she didn’t know.

The demon drew those memories in, and Alec felt it, felt the shift in swirling magic as the demon Valak turned toward Clary. It was so damn hard to stay still at that. Especially when Valak brought a hand up in front of Clary and sent a wave of smoke at her.

Alec’s whole body was vibrating with the need to go over there and get that demon _far the fuck_ away from Clary.

Magnus started chanting again, drawling in the power that they’d made, using it like a net to slowly pull in around Valak and force it back down towards that tear in the floor. Alec should’ve paid more attention, she knew. She really should have. The demon was forced back down through that tear and then, somehow, the tear was pulled closed. Alec had no idea how.

All she knew was that the magic suddenly left the room and the connection between them all was broken.

Alec swore her heart stopped when she watched Clary’s eyes roll up and her body began to fall. In a flash she was closing the distance between them, but Jace got there first, darting down to catch Clary before she hit the ground.

Dropping down to her knees beside them, Alec reached out and put her hand on Clary’s forehead. She was surprised to see that her hand was shaking slightly. Her magic leapt out without any real thought behind it. Alec ran a wave of healing magic up and down Clary’s body though she knew she wouldn’t find anything. This wasn’t an injury. This was having years’ worth of memories shoved back into her brain.

“She’s fine,” Magnus promised her, coming to a squat at Alec’s shoulder.

Alec nodded. She knew that. Still, it wasn’t easy to draw her hand back. Or her magic. Especially with how much of the demon’s touch lingered in the room around them. It had her magic and skin prickling uncomfortably.

“We should get her back to the Institute,” Jace said abruptly. He shifted his hold on Clary and began to gather her up in his arms.

The urge to protest was automatic and hard for Alec to hold back. He wasn’t wrong, she knew. Clary would do better healing surrounded by angelic energy.

“I promise, we’ll let you know once she’s awake,” Isabelle said, reaching out to touch Alec’s other shoulder.

Once he had Clary arranged in his arms, Jace looked up and held Alec’s eyes for a moment, and he offered her a gentle, “We’ll take care of her.”

“You better.” Alec looked up at him and made sure to pack as much threat into her words as she could. “Take care of her the way you take care of Izzy. They’re both my family, and if something happens to either of them, it’s you I’m coming after.”

A snort from Isabelle came seconds before she jammed her shoulder into Alec’s arm. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

Forcing a smile, Alec reached out and tugged on a bit of her hair. “It never hurts to have someone watching your back.”

Alec stayed where she was as she watched Isabelle get up with Jace and start to take Clary out of the room. It wasn’t easy. More than anything, Alec wanted to get up and go with them, go back to the Institute and then take Clary to her room where she’d be able to keep watch over her and make sure she was safe. That was what the emotional side of Alec wanted.

The practical side knew better. That part of her knew that she’d never be able to go walk the halls with Clary. There was no chance of Alec taking her around, showing her the Institute. Not just all the main rooms, but all the ones that she and Isabelle had found, and some of the ones that Alec was pretty sure she was the only one to know about. She wanted to take Clary up to the rooftop and show her where she used to hide from her parents. Or back into the gardens to that little patch of bushes that had worked as a perfect cover for a young Alec hiding from everyone.

Knowing that she wasn’t ever going to be able to do that made Alec’s heart throb. Her home, the one place that would always mean home to her, was the one place she would never be able to go back to. And it was the one place that one of the people who’d helped make up Alec’s _new_ home was now staying. She felt almost like she was losing her life all over again.

The gentle squeeze of the hand on her shoulder broke Alec out of her thoughts. She looked up to find that Magnus was standing over her watching her with a sad, _old_ look. One that spoke of years of pain.

She didn’t try making Alec feel better with useless platitudes. Magnus just looked at her and said “I’m sorry, Alexandra.”

Swallowing down the lump in her throat was hard. Alec knew she wouldn’t be able to speak around it, so she just nodded, hoping that that conveyed everything she couldn’t say.

* * *

Magnus left Alec alone in the room to gather herself. Yet another thing that Alec was grateful for.

When she finally came out – after taking a moment to magically clean up the mess they’d left behind – she found Magnus sitting on the couch reading through a book and drinking another cocktail. She often seemed to have a drink in hand, Alec had noticed.

Magnus looked up at her entrance, and she smiled.

Though the ache in Alec’s heart was still there, she could breathe around it now, and she could give Magnus a smile in return. “Thank you,” she said, needing to voice the words she hadn’t been able to say before. “I, um, I’m sorry we took up so much of your time today. You probably want to check in with Catarina and the rest of them.”

“Already done,” Magnus said, waving a hand through the air.

“Still.” While Alec had been gathering herself in there, she’d also taken a moment to figure out her next move. Much as she found herself enjoying Magnus’ company she had things she needed to do that didn’t involve staying here. “I cleaned up our mess in there. I didn’t feel right just leaving it.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I could’ve taken care of it.”

This time it was Alec’s turn to wave a hand. “It wasn’t hard. I wasn’t going to leave you here with a mess to clean up.”

“Leave?” Magnus sat up a little straighter at that. She folded her book down, marking it with a bookmark, and then set it on the table. Then she smoothly pushed up to her feet. “Leaving so soon, darling? I was hoping I might be able to convince you to at least stick around for a drink.”

As lovely as that sounded, there was only so much of the night left, and so many things Alec needed to do. Some of which she wanted to have done before dawn. “Can I take a raincheck on that? I’ve got a few things I need to take care of.”

The playful, flirtatious edge was fading away off of Magnus’ face. In its place was honest concern. “It’s been a long day for everything, Alexandra. Why don’t you rest here? I don’t like the idea of sending you out into the city alone tonight.”

“I’ve roamed the city alone at night plenty of times,” Alec said. Hell, for some periods of time she’d _lived_ on the streets. Both as a child, and briefly during a fit when she was sixteen.

Magnus moved away from the couch to walk over toward her. The grace with which she moved even across her own living room floor was something that Alec couldn’t help but admire. This was a woman who was beautiful and knew it. Her confidence showed in her every move.

When Magnus got close, she didn’t stop at the respectable distance most people did. She leaned in close enough for Alec to feel her body heat. Without her heels, a fact that Alec hadn’t noticed until just now, it definitely put Magnus a few inches below her. She had to tip her head back just to look Alec in the eye. “Things are dangerous right now. If you’re going to go out, promise me you’ll be careful?”

Alec chose not to take that as a slight against her skills. This wasn’t normal times, and they both knew it. With Circle members on the loose and actively hunting warlocks it was a dangerous time to be out in the city. Especially at night. “I promise.”

A soft snap drew Alec’s attention down to Magnus’ hands. The other woman reached out and brushed blue-tipped fingers against the back of Alec’s hand. It left behind a set of numbers in scrawling black ink. She looked back up to find Magnus was right there in front of her, her face just inches away. It gave Alec the perfect view of golden-green cat eyes. “Call me?” Magnus murmured, her breath warm against Alec’s lips.

Alec licked her lips instinctively, chasing that taste. “Yeah.”

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when Magnus pushed up those last few little inches. One of her hands settled on Alec’s neck, the other on her hip, and Magnus rose up on her toes until she could press her lips against Alec’s. The kiss was short; a chaste thing compared to the heat that had been dancing back and forth between them. Yet it felt perfect.

When they broke apart, the two of them were smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

Leaving the loft hadn’t been easy. Part of Alec had wanted to accept Magnus’ offer to stay. After all, where else did she have to go? Luke’s? The threat of bringing more trouble to his door didn’t feel right. Nor did it feel right to bring it to Simon’s door, of all people, and he was her only other option outside of her home. But she was going to have to sleep at some point. And Luke deserved an update.

It was just, there were so many things that needed done, and one of them was pulling at Alec more than any other. She wouldn’t be able to focus on the others until she tried taking care of this.

Going out into the city that night didn’t give Alec anywhere near as many answers as she’d hoped for. She tried to summon some of Dot’s things to her in the hopes that she’d be able to use those to track the woman. But she had to have been held somewhere near or on water because the tracking signal kept fizzing out.

Alec refused to believe it was for other, far darker reasons. She wasn’t going to allow herself to think like that. Not until she had absolute proof. Her not being anywhere, and Alec unable to track her, had to mean that Valentine had her.

A small part of Alec wondered if that was any better.

After a brief stop off to get her bike, Alec made a few laps of the city, trying to hit up any place she thought that Dot might go to hide out. At least locally. A portal took her away to hit up a few non-local places, too. But none of those came up with anything.

By the time it was all said and done, the sun was coming up, and Alec was hungry, exhausted, and in desperate need of a shower. Once more she mourned the fact that she hadn’t taken Magnus up on the offer to stay there. At least then she’d be coming at this with a fresh head and a full stomach. But, whatever was going on between them was far too new for sleepovers like that. They’d known one another two days – at the most. In that time they’d flirted, laughed, fought against Circle members, and shared two kisses. It wasn’t like they were even _dating_.

Alec was much better off trying to head back to her own place.

She knew Luke and Dot had advised against it. If Circle members had found Jocelyn’s there was every chance they could’ve found Alec’s place. But they also could’ve missed it. After all, it wasn’t like Alec used her real name to rent the place. And going to get her own things right now sounded immensely appealing. Just an hour, even, to shower and gather some stuff, and then she could maybe go and find some hotel to hole up in for a while and call Luke, update him on what was going on.

The ride over to her place was an easy and familiar one. Alec barely had to pay attention to do it. But she kept her focus sharp on the chance that there might be someone following her, or someone lying in wait.

But there were no signs of trouble on the way over there. Nor were there any when she arrived. Alec’s wards looked just the same as they always had. Not even any signs of someone having probed at them, or from having tried and failed to get in. They looked normal.

Alec kept her guard up when she walked into the building, and as she went up to her floor. But when there continued to be no signs of trouble, she let out a sigh of relief. Thank the Angel. No one had found her place yet.

She let herself in with her magic; what was the need of a key when she could just use her magic to make the door open? Once inside, Alec took hold of her wards and strengthened them, making them even more secure. It took a lot of the strength she had left, reminding her that food and sleep both needed to happen sometime soon.

However, first things first, she was in desperate need of a shower. Magical cleaning only got her so far. Since her last shower yesterday morning – was that all it had been? Just a day? – she’d been in fights, had murdered multiple beings, summoned a demon, and ridden all around the city. She was sweaty, her skin felt like it had a layer of grime on it, and she just wanted to stand underneath a spray of hot water for hours and hours until she started to feel human again.

Not that her apartment had enough water for a shower that lasted twenty minutes, let alone hours. However, that didn’t stop her quick ten-minute scrub from feeling like the most amazing thing she’d ever done.

When Alec stepped out, winding one towel around her waist and another around her hair, she felt almost like herself again.

That is, right up until the moment that she stopped by the sink and looked up at the foggy mirror.

Something about the mirror held her. Usually Alec avoided them at all costs. She didn’t want to see her reflection. She and her reflection had never been the best of friends. Even as she got older and grew out of that awkward lanky phase that had come when she’d shot up in height, she still hadn’t ever found any reason to look herself over like this. To stare at her reflection any longer than she had to. Why bother? She knew what she looked like.

And she knew what was hiding just underneath the surface. Under the glamour that she could barely stand to let go even when she was alone.

Most of the time she could forget it was there. Forget about how different she was – what a _freak_.

Yet, this whole _coming out_ thing these past days had stirred up quite a few things, and Alec just… she wondered, in a way she so rarely let herself do.

Alec stood in front of the mirror for a moment and held her towel around herself. With one had she reached out and wiped away some of the steam until some of her image became clear.

This was the easy part. Looking at herself from the shoulders up. Not that Alec particularly _liked_ her face or anything like that. But she didn’t hate it, either. It wasn’t a bad face. Not like this. Not even with her runes out. It wasn’t like her face was runed, though. The highest rune she had was on her neck.

As for the rest of it…

Alec drew in a deep breath. Though she hadn’t consciously made the decision yet, some part of her must have. Between one blink and the next Alec’s glamour faded away. What was left was enough to have her sucking in a sharp breath.

The mark hadn’t changed at all in all her years. It was still so large, taking up all of her left eye as well as that ear, that side of her neck, and downward. The little tendrils that crept out from the bit around her eye were no more pronounced than they had been back when it first showed through. All of it looked just as it had before. Smooth and dark. So very dark. Like ink spilled onto her skin. Or like something was staining her skin from the inside out.

Alec closed her eyes on a heavy breath of air. She gripped tightly to the counter and let her head bow down, the towel on her hair almost slipping off as she did. One of her hands darted up to catch it and keep it from tumbling down. At the same time, her eyes snapped open, and she was faced with her entirely black arm.

A sharp curse left Alec’s lips. Quickly, almost violently, she grabbed hold of her glamour and yanked it back into place. Watching the black vanish off her skin was enough to ease some of the tension that had gripped her.

This was stupid. Why was she paying attention to a glamour that was practically instinctive by now? It wasn’t like she had to worry about her mark. No one was demanding to see it. Clary hadn’t asked. Neither had Jace or Isabelle. And Magnus? Well, while she might wear her mark out in the open, no one was saying that Alec had to.

It was just… after staying in that house and seeing all those warlocks together, seeing the way they let go around one another in a way that Alec didn’t know if she’d ever be capable of… it _hurt_.

It hurt because she knew she couldn’t ever accept herself the way that they seemed to. Maybe that was just her own anger, or insecurities, or maybe it was something left over from the Shadowhunter part of her that had been taught to fear and hate the very thing she’d become. Whatever it was, Alec just didn’t think she would ever get to a place where she could look at her mark without the anger or the fear she felt right now.

Shaking her head, Alec pulled her focus away from thinking of things that were never going to happen, and she turned it back toward practical things. Namely, getting her hair down and brushed, and then using a little bit of magic to help it dry. While wet it hung to the small of her back and it was _heavy_.

Exhaustion tugged at Alec as she finished up in the bathroom and made her way towards bed. She did another check of her wards, just to be sure. When they still looked just as solid as ever, Alec gave up the fight and climbed into her bed. She made sure to set an alarm on her phone as she did. Just a few hours was all she needed. A few hours here and then she’d get herself out of here for a while and start doing… something. Anything. Maybe if she were lucky, Clary might’ve woken up and called by then.

* * *

She should’ve known she was too lucky when she managed a few hours of peace in her apartment. Nothing was ever quite that easy. Especially not lately. However, in the end, the nap was more than worth it, to be honest. Alec knew if she _hadn’t_ stolen those few hours of sleep, the trap she found herself walking into later might have actually worked.

But Alec _had_ stolen a couple hours of sleep. That, combined with the safety of being behind her wards, had helped her recharge a little bit. Along with a potion leftover from Dot meant to help give her body a bit of a boost. Because of those, when Alec walked into the parking garage to get her bike, she was alert enough to recognize the tingling against her skin as trouble.

It wasn’t a moment too soon. Alec had barely managed to reach for her magic when a wave of it came flying at her.

The blow wasn’t enough to knock her out. However, it _did_ knock her down, her body flying back into a support beam with a blow that stole her breath.

There wasn’t time to let herself recover from it. Training had Alec pushing up as best she could, wheezing a little while she shoved up from the ground. It was Shadowhunter strength that helped her get back up. It was also what probably saved her from multiple broken bones.

As Alec straightened up, her eyes swept the garage around her, and what she found had her stomach sinking. Seven Shadowhunters were walking toward her. _Seven Circle members._ And with them, following along like some leashed puppy…

Alec’s eyes widened when she caught sight of the young warlock with dark red skin marked by black lines over their veins. A warlock? The one attacking was a _warlock_? Alec swore low and loud as she drew on her magic, gathering it in her palms. “What’re you doing?” Alec demanded. “You’re _helping_ them?”

The warlock looked pained. Alec saw the hurt, the grief, that flashed through their eyes. But it didn’t stop their hands from lifting and trying to send a whip of orange magic at Alec. She just barely managed to dodge out of the way.

When Alec looked at them again, closer this time, what she’d thought was just a warlock mark before suddenly looked a little more sinister. Those black lines didn’t just look like veins. It _was_ their veins.

That was all the time Alec had to focus on it. The Circle members were moving, trying to close in around her, and a few of them drew their weapons. “The boss is looking forward to getting you,” one of the assholes said, grin wide. “Your pretty little friend had _lots_ to say about you.”

 _Oh, Raziel_. Alec clenched her hands, her magic sparking all along her fingers. Dot. They had to be talking about Dot. But there was no way Dot would tell them anything about her. _There’s no way a warlock would work for the Circle, either, and yet…_ And yet Alec was yet again dodging away from another blast of magic.

Two of the Circle members rushed toward her. Alec was quick enough to dodge one, but the other caught her just enough to make her stumble, sending her a little too close to another, who tried to greet her with a blow to the head. Alec ducked down and took the blow to the shoulder instead. She felt it pop out and swore heavily.

They had her outnumbered here. Alec knew she wasn’t going to be able to fight them off.

In this, unlike a true Shadowhunter, Alec found no shame in retreat.

She took hold of her magic and chanted, flinging her hands out to send out warlock fire. A fire that would only burn those who _believed_ it would burn them. Then, while they stumbled back to get away from it, she cast her hands in the familiar motions of a portal right in front of her. As Alec lunged toward it, she heard the sound of someone crying out, and felt the swing of a seraph blade in one last ditch attempt to get her.

When Alec hit the portal all she could think of was getting somewhere safe. Somewhere far, far away. It was a dangerous way to enter a portal with no perfect, clear destination in mind, but panic had Alec leaping through it with only _safety_ as her goal.

Her leap took Alec straight into the portal and out through the other side. She hit the ground as she landed – hard. A pained groan tore past her lips as she spun, waving her hands to banish the portal before anyone could dare think to try and follow her, or hijack her portal for their own use. There was no telling what that other warlock might be capable of.

Relief washed through her when the light of the portal winked away. Alec dropped her weight down to one hand and let out a soft “ _Fuck_ ” as the rest of her body slumped as well.

Footsteps warned her of someone coming just seconds before Alec heard the very last voice she’d expected to hear.

“ _Alexandra_?”

In a flash it seemed like Magnus just appeared right there beside her. Alec blinked her eyes open to find the other woman right there, down on one knee in front of her. Her image was kind of hazy, a blur of yellows and reds and oranges like some sort of liquid sunset. But Alec knew that voice, and she recognized the eyes that stuck out from the rest of it all, burning fiercely.

One of Magnus’ hands cupped Alec’s cheek. She leaned into it, her body abruptly feeling like it was far too heavy to keep upright on her own. Since when were bodies so _heavy_?

“Careful,” Magnus said, and Alec wanted to ask her what it was she was supposed to be careful of, only Magnus kept talking, and it was clear the words weren’t for her. “I don’t think she’s all the way here. She’s barely conscious, and her eyes aren’t tracking anything. I’m not sure if she’s even recognizing who we are at the moment.”

“Of all the foolish, dangerous things to do. She shouldn’t have been portaling like this!” another voice snapped. It took Alec a second to place it as Catarina.

What was going on? Alec had been so sure that she’d end up at Luke’s, or at the Jade Wolf. Somewhere that Luke might be. She’d thought of safety when she jumped, and in her mind, safety had always been slightly pinned to the tall werewolf. Ever since he’d come into the park and recused the small, angry little warlock and brought her _home_.

But some other part of her must’ve been a lot louder in their demands. And, to be honest, Magnus was probably one of the safest places to be right now.

Alec sighed a little while her body slumped down even more. She felt movement, and then her upper half was being shifted just a little, propped up for something to slid against. When Alec blinked open her eyes, she found an arm right in front of her face, a hand stroking back her hair, and something solid underneath her. It took a few blinks for Alec to realize that Magnus had moved, adjusting her squat so that Alec was between her legs, resting her weight against one solid thigh while her head was pillowed against a soft chest.

Tilting her head, Alec blinked a little past all the warm, swimming colors, and she tried to once more focus on those eyes. The eyes that had let her know she’d made it somewhere safe. “Magnus?”

“Hush, darling,” Magnus murmured. Her knuckles skimmed Alec’s cheek and jaw. “You’re all right now. I have you. Catarina and I are going to fix you up, all right?”

Fix her up? Alec tried to remember why she needed that. Hadn’t she… there’d been… _oh_. The Circle members. The warlock. Fists and blows and blades and that desperate need to _flee_.

Alec’s body tried to tense all over again, only for Magnus to soothingly try and stroke it out of her. But when she went to touch Alec’s arm, the pain it sent jolting through her was enough to have the young warlock letting out a pained cry. One that had everyone going still.

She’d barely got her breath back when that other voice was right above her – _Catarina_. “Her shoulder’s out of place. We need to get that back in before it gets anymore difficult to do so. I can’t sense much more than some bruises here and there, except for the wound on her leg. You’re going to need to brace her, Magnus. Even with magic to help this isn’t going to feel good. Can you shield her?”

“Oh, sure, leave that job to me.”

Despite the grumble in that tone, Magnus was once more moving, drawing Alec in more against her chest. One arm curled around Alec’s head in a touch that was bracing as well as a bit smothering. Any other time and she might not mind so much seeing as how it pressed her in against Magnus’ chest, and they really were a beautiful pair of breasts that Alec had already thought about more than she probably should have.

She felt the chest against her face shake a little, heard the faint husk of laughter above her. “Good to know, darling. We can definitely talk about that later. Though, for the record, I've thought about your chest as well. Many times.”

That was good to know. It was a nice thought. One that made Alec smile.

Right up until the point that the arm around her head went tight, another held on to her waist, and something tingled on her shoulder. Then Alec wasn’t thinking about anything but _pain_ as magic grabbed her shoulder and forced it back into its socket.

Alec tried to move, to arch up and cry out, only for her body to be firmly held in place. Just as firmly as her magic was being held. Every bit of her was wrapped up tight in _Magnus_.

Then, just as quickly as the pain started, it was gone, leaving behind only a dull ache that the magic soothed down. Alec slumped down against Magnus’ body while Catarina’s magic began to wash down the rest of her, little by little, chasing away any injuries as it went.

By the time her magic reached the cut on Alec’s leg, one she hadn’t even realized she’d had until just now, Alec’s brain was finally starting to lose that hazy feeling to it. It was clear enough for her to really register what was going on.

Instead of portaling to Luke like she’d expected to, somewhere in her hazy mind she must’ve subconsciously linked _safety_ and _Magnus_ together, because her portal had spat her out on Magnus’ living room floor. Which was where she was currently lying, still cradled between Magnus’ legs and pillowed on her chest, while Catarina knelt by her leg and carefully healed the wound from where a stray seraph blade must’ve caught her as she leapt.

When Magnus loosened the hold on Alec’s head, allowing her to rest instead of restraining her, Alec took a shuddering breath. She didn’t try and move, though. To be honest it felt good to curl up here. Safe. _Guess my magic knew that better than I did._

“All right,” Catarina said, drawing her hand and magic back from Alec’s leg. “That’s the best I can do at the moment. The bleeding’s stopped at least. We’ll need to bandage it up and keep it elevated for a little while.”

Alec couldn’t exactly tell her that she could heal it up with her own powers once she was a little less drained.

The arm around Alec’s waist shifted a little, Magnus’ hand patting at her hip. “All right then. Let’s get you comfortable while Catarina gets the bandages.”

Alec tried to move her arms, ready to brace on Magnus so she could stand up, only for the older woman to tip Alec back a little, adjust in her squat, and then slide one arm under Alec’s legs and _pick her up_.

The sound Alec made was no doubt something she’d be mocked for later. It was somewhere between a squeak and a shriek. Her hands clenched down on Magnus’ shirt, her shoulder still too sore to support her lifting that arm to grab on. “Magnus!”

“Oh, you are still awake. Good.” Magnus grinned down at Alec. Then she started to rise, still holding Alec bridal style against her chest, and _oh Angel that was unfairly hot_. Alec hadn’t met anyone who could pick her up like this. Especially not with this kind of ease. Yet Magnus did it like it was _nothing_.

Alec knew she was blushing, though she tried to hide it underneath a glare. “Put me _down_.”

“What kind of knight would I be if I didn’t carry my princess while she was injured?”

“Cinderella married a prince, not a knight,” Alec pointed out, because why the hell not? Why not debate the accuracy of the fairytale while Magnus was carrying her over to the couch?

While Alec was wondering how on earth this was her life, Magnus had reached the couch and was carefully setting her down on it, making sure to be gentle with her leg as she did. “But that’s so _boring_ ,” Magnus whined. She slipped her arm from behind Alec’s shoulders and moved down to carefully adjust her legs, slipping a pillow underneath the still injured one so that it was elevated.

Wincing a little at the movement, Alec tried to hold still and focus on Magnus’ words instead of on the burning sting that was running through her thigh. “Classic mundane fairytale. Princes always get the girl.”

“But why? Why do the princes get to have all the fun and the beautiful women?” Magnus demanded while moving back just enough to perch on the edge of the coffee table, putting her face to face with Alec. The compliment in that didn’t go unnoticed by Alec. Of course, then Magnus had to ruin it completely by grinning without shame and adding, “I’m sure Prince Charming never had anyone swoon in his arms and tell him how beautiful _his_ breasts were.”

The color in Alec’s cheeks flared hot and bright. “Oh God.” She was never going to live this down. Never, ever, ever.

Delight was bright on Magnus’ face.

Thank the Angel, that was the time that Catarina came back to them, bandages in hand. Of course, she couldn’t just walk in and save Alec, oh no. She had to walk in and announce “Okay, no more talk about breasts unless someone’s are injured. You two can awkwardly flirt when I’m not in the middle. Now move, Magnus. I need to get to that leg.”

With all the command of someone well used to working in the emergency room – and from what Alec had heard from Dot, on many a battlefield, too – Catarina took control of the situation. She slipped past Alec and Magnus, who leaned back to let her through, and then plopped herself down on the couch right at Alec’s feet. Bandages were set down by Alec’s leg. For a moment Catarina just looked at her, eyeing Alec’s pants and then lifting her gaze up to Alec’s face.

Without hesitation, Alec flicked her fingers in the direction of her pants, changing them out for a pair of shorts.

To Magnus' credit, she didn’t do more than let her eyes run over Alec’s legs, settling in the end on her half-healed wound. That seemed to work to sober them all up.

Alec knew what was coming next. When Magnus shifted to face her again, brows drawn down and lips pursed, she knew what the other woman was going to ask. “I got jumped in my parking garage,” Alec answered, not making her actually say her question. “I went back to my place to grab a shower and some sleep. My wards were up just fine so I didn’t worry about anyone coming in after me. I cleaned myself up and stole a few hours of sleep. But when I left, there were seven Circle members waiting in my parking garage. And… a warlock.”

Catarina’s head snapped up at the same time that Magnus’ eyebrows shot up toward her hairline. “A warlock?”

Nodding, Alec tried to ignore the wound being cleaned on her leg. Her left hand curled into her other one, fingers picking at that space of skin between index finger and thumb. “Yeah. Though, I’m pretty sure they didn’t want to be there. They had this…weird black marks on them. Like it was their veins.”

Catarina and Magnus exchanged a brief, speaking look, and Alec knew – they’d heard of this.

“You guys know what I’m talking about,” Alec said. She didn’t mean it to sound like an accusation, though that was how it came out.

It was Catarina who fielded that question. “Not quite. We’ve just heard rumors.”

“The last time Valentine was in power, he was working on various experiments,” Magnus said lowly. “Trying to find a way to give the nephilim more power. Ways to be better than Downworlders. To control them.”

That made sense with what Alec had seen. She remembered the grief in that warlock’s eyes. They hadn’t wanted to do what they were being made to do. Of that she was sure.

“If one attacked you that means Valentine’s either perfected a solution, or come close to perfecting it,” Catarina said, her voice low and heavy. She wound the last of the bandage around Alec’s leg. When it was taped off, she gave a gentle pat on her ankle. “There, try and stay off of…” She cut off when Alec immediately began to sit up. “Why do I even try. Stubborn, stupid young warlocks. You’re not invincible, you know!”

Alec ignored that. Her hand had gone tight on the arm of the couch as she remembered what the warlock had said to her. Lifting wide, aching eyes, she looked at Magnus. “They have Dot.”

The words worked to silence Catarina’s mumbling. But Alec was only watching Magnus. She saw the way the other woman didn’t startle, how she closed her eyes in a silent gesture of grief, and knew that, like her, Magnus had guessed this. 

“That’s how they knew how to find you,” Magnus said softly.

Though Magnus’ eyes were still closed, Alec nodded. “They said my little friend had told them about me. Magnus, if she told them…”

“Then you’re in even more danger than before,” Magnus finished.

They both knew this was more than just Valentine knowing there was another warlock close to Clary. If Valentine knew the truth about Alec, about who and what she really was, her life was suddenly at much greater risk. As were the lives of quite a few other people. The things that Valentine might do if he got his hands on Alec were enough to make her shiver.

If he could control her the way he had controlled the warlock earlier…Alec didn’t want to think of the things he might make her do. But that wasn’t even the part that scared Alec the most. She knew from Luke and Dot’s stories that Valentine had been big on experiments. Hearing Magnus say it now had only confirmed some of what Alec had suspected.

The thought of what Valentine might do with her blood was the most terrifying of all. He’d probably chain Alec up in some room, strap her down to a table and do test after test to try and figure out how she was even possible, how it was she existed without dying or blowing up, and he’d use her to make more like her. To create, maybe even _breed_ …

A shudder ran down Alec’s body. She drew herself in, compacting down into a small ball. While she carried a lot of Shadowhunter instincts, things that she would never be able to get rid of, this was one that was purely _Alexandra_. The need to make herself small in the face of a threat bigger and stronger than her. To compact down and _hide_ so that no one would see her, no one could get her. In this, Alec would’ve failed at being a Shadowhunter. Too much of her own self-preservation instincts amounted to _run_ and _hide_.

From in front of Alec came a low, pained sound, and a soft “Oh, darling” that was full of understanding and grief. In the next moment Alec could feel it as Magnus shifted herself forward, her knees going between Alec’s legs and pushing them apart, forcing her to uncurl just a little. Then Magnus had her hands on Alec and was drawing her in, once more bringing Alec to cradle against her. Only this time Alec’s face was free to bury against her neck.

“He doesn’t have you,” Magnus said softly against Alec’s hair. Her face was turned in, cheek pressed to the side of Alec’s head, and her breath was a warm puff against the top of Alec’s ear. “You’re safe right now. I won’t let him get you – not if I can help it.”

“Magnus, I can’t…”

“Shh, I know. I know, sweet girl. My beautiful little Cinderella.”

Alec’s hands had somehow uncurled from herself and had found a place on Magnus’ shirt. She tried to pull back, knowing that she was likely ruining that soft, silky material, only for Magnus to huff at her and scoot closer. At the same time, she tugged on Alec’s hips and _lifted_ a little until Alec was neatly sliding into her lap.

For a moment Alec felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. What the hell was she doing? This wasn’t _her_. Alec wasn’t this _weak_. It just, it felt like all her fears were crashing down on her at once, and after the past few days Alec didn’t have the strength to hold out against it.

She never heard the quiet footsteps as Catarina left them alone. All she could see and feel for that moment in time was _Magnus_.

“We’ll figure something out,” Magnus promised her. “I’m not going to just let him have you. Not when you still owe me a fourth date. I’m going to collect on that at some point. Preferably when one of is isn’t injured, at least.”

The chuckle Alec let out was a little weak at the edges. Still, her smile was there when she drew back, though she felt shy enough that she couldn’t bring herself to meet Magnus’ eyes. Going after what she wanted with this woman was one thing. The flirting, the dates, while those flustered Alec, she could handle them. This? This kind of _intimacy_ with someone that Alec barely knew? It was embarrassing, and yet it felt more right than anything else.

Magnus let go of Alec’s hips to bring one hand up and stroke her knuckles over Alec’s cheeks. She ended by using one knuckle under Alec’s chin to tilt her head up. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about here, Alexandra. In case I haven’t made myself clear, I _like_ you. Far more than I expected to like someone I’ve only known for a few days. You’ve… unlocked something in me. Something that I’ve held shut for centuries.”

“I don’t…” Alec paused and let out a breath that was just a little too shuddery for her peace of mind. It didn’t stop her from gathering her courage and speaking her mind, though. If Magnus was going to give her that, the least Alec could do was grant her the same in return. “You make me feel things no one else has. I trust you. I don’t know why, but I do.”

The way that Magnus lit up at that made the awkwardness of saying those words worth it.

She wasn’t surprised when Magnus leaned in. The kiss was a gentle one, as soft as their words.

When they broke apart, Alec leaned in a little, tipping her head so that their foreheads were touching. For a moment Alec was content to sit there on Magnus’ lap and just _be_. She let the stress she’d been feeling go to the wayside. Let the soothing stroke of Magnus’ hand on the small of her back chase away the fear that wanted to grip at her.

“I’ve got you, darling,” Magnus murmured to her, low and private, just for them.

Alec closed her eyes and _breathed_. Maybe some things were going to shit right now, and there was a whole world of problems that was going to be waiting for her when they broke apart. But here, now? Like this? Things felt _good_ , and that was a feeling Alec desperately wanted to hold on to.


	9. Chapter 9

Eventually the two of them had to break apart. There were things to talk about, things to plan, and Alec had no idea what she was going to do. A lot of her life felt untethered. Like so much of it had been ripped away and she was left floating aimlessly in a turbulent sea. The fact that her anchor right then was a sparkly warlock who was somehow burrowing past all of Alec’s defenses was something she didn’t know what to think about.

At least she had a distraction for a moment. As soon as Alec’s stomach rumbled, Magnus was all over getting some food for them. Catarina briefly came back in, but only to excuse herself to go get ready for work.

That left Alec and Magnus alone in the living room with a bunch of Chinese takeout on the cushion between them. It was close enough to dinnertime that they’d ordered up some food. They were on either end of the couch, bodies turned inward and legs draw up. Alec’s sore leg was stretched out a little, the coffee table helping to prop it up.

Magnus used her chopsticks to gesture towards Alec’s injured leg. “Now that Catarina’s not here to overhear – why haven’t you used a stele to fix that up, darling? After seeing your runes before I feel safe in assuming they work for you. Yet another thing I still can’t quite wrap my mind around.”

“They do,” Alec agreed. She shifted her own chopsticks to dig around in the little box of General Tso’s chicken she had. “But they’re not always as effective. I find the iratze works about halfway toward what it should. Most of the time I just find it simpler to let some of my injuries heal on their own. I heal pretty fast as it is.”

“Are you often injured?”

Shrugging, Alec finally chose a piece of chicken and brought it up to her mouth. She chewed a bit before bringing her hand up to hide her mouth, speaking around the bite of food. “I mean, hunts don’t always go the best. Things happen.”

Both of Magnus’ eyebrows lifted at that. She paused, a bit of noodles held over her container. “You still hunt?”

“Well, yeah.” Finishing her bite, Alec lowered her hand, giving Magnus a curious look as she did. “I’m still a Shadowhunter, Magnus. Taking out demons is kind of what we _do_. I can’t just sit by and ignore the fact that there’s demons in New York.”

“Don’t you worry about running into other Shadowhunters on patrol?”

Shrugging, Alec went back to her chicken. “Not really. With the addition of warlock glamour, I don’t really get seen unless I want to.”

“It sounds dangerous, hunting alone like that.” There was a brief hint of worry in Magnus’ eyes. It reminded Alec of the way that Dot used to look at her before she’d head out for a nighttime hunt.

Thinking of Dot brought some of the tightness back to Alec’s chest. She looked down, suddenly a whole lot more interested in looking at her food. It was easier than looking up to watch that expression on Magnus’ face. “I manage.”

As if sensing that she’d touched something sensitive there, reading Alec in a way so few were capable of, Magnus quickly switched gears. “You know, I’ve only ever known one another being like you. Though, her circumstances were a bit different than yours. She didn’t come out of it quite the same either. You seem to almost truly be half and half.”

The image of what she’d seen in the mirror earlier made Alec flinch. Her appetite fled, and she carefully put her sticks in the container before setting it down with the others. “Yeah. I’m an extra special brand of freak.”

“You’re not a _freak_ ,” Magnus protested immediately, a glare settling on her features.

Alec gave a bitter little half-laugh. “Magnus, I’m a mish-mosh of Shadowhunter and warlock that should be absolutely impossible and yet somehow _isn’t_. No one has any idea how I was made. I shouldn’t technically _exist_.”

“Just because we don’t know how something’s done doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

“Yeah, but the possibilities behind it aren’t exactly all that great to think about.”

Either her mother, a woman she’d both loved and hated at so many points in her life, had been raped by a demon at some point, or something had been done to her while she was pregnant. The more Alec heard about Valentine and his _experiments_ the more she was afraid the second one was possible. Or some sort of combination of the two.

“I’m probably never going to get to know the answer,” Alec admitted quietly. She tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal. Like she didn’t ache to know how she was made with the kind of sick curiosity that people felt in watching a car wreck. The fear and horror of knowing something was terrible while simultaneously being unable to look away.

Magnus made a low humming sound. “Does it matter?” she asked. When Alec looked up, surprised, Magnus shrugged. “However you were made, the point is that you’re here, darling. You’re alive. The _how_ isn’t important. What _is_ important is what you choose to do with your life. That’s a lesson all warlocks have to learn at some point or another. If we let ourselves be bogged down by the thoughts of where we came from, there would be far fewer warlocks left alive in this world.”

The words held a brutal truth to them. Warlocks had to live with the knowledge that they were the byproducts of rape. That, often enough, their mere existence had ruined the life of someone they loved. Alec knew a lot of the stories. She knew that many warlocks were abandoned because of what they were. Some parents killed them out of fear. Others killed themselves.

It was a knowledge that they had to bear. One they had to come to terms with. “How?” Alec asked quietly, not sure how to put all of that into words.

She didn’t have to. Magnus’ look made it clear she understood exactly what she was asking. Reaching out, she took Alec’s hand in hers and squeezed. “One day at a time. That’s all any of us can do.”

A few deep breaths helped Alec to draw herself back under control. So did the grounding touch of Magnus’ hand. Still holding on to it, Alec swallowed down the lump that had built in her throat.

As if sensing that she’d pushed Alec about as far as she could go at the moment, Magnus abruptly switched gears and began telling a story about her, Catarina, and their friend Ragnor – the man in the memory that Alec had seen.

It was easy for Alec to lose herself in conversation with Magnus. To listen to her stories and laugh, smile, relax. In exchange, Alec told stories about Clary when they were younger, something Magnus was surprisingly interested in.

“I only saw Clarissa when her mother wanted me to take more memories,” Magnus said, using her wrist to brush back a bit of hair that had fallen toward her face. She was smiling, and she looked so laid back in that moment, so very much _her_ in a way that she hadn’t while at the club. It was…nice.

Alec had long since set down her empty food container. Now, curled up and comfortable, she let herself grin a little. “She was a sassy brat of a kid. So, really, not much different than she is now.”

The two shared a soft laugh over that.

“No, really though, she was a good kid,” Alec said. Her whole expression softened a little as she thought of her best friend. “Clary’s like… she’s got a good heart in there, and she cares about people. About pretty much everyone, actually. There were very few people that didn’t like her. But she also has this tendency to get a bit…hotheaded.” A laugh escaped Alec, cutting her off. She could feel her grin grow. “There were so many times she’d get upset by something and just, hop right up in the other person’s face with zero fear. It didn’t matter that she practically came up to most people’s _knees_. She was like one of those tiny little yippy rat dogs…”

“A chihuahua?” Magnus asked, laughing.

Alec lit up and pointed a finger Magnus’ way. “That’s it! She was like a little chihuahua, yipping and yapping at them, convinced somehow that _she_ was the bigger dog. With Simon standing faithfully at her side, always trying to find a way to calm her down.”

“And you?”

A bright grin lit up Alec’s face. She didn’t notice the stunned look it caused on Magnus. The way the other woman drew back a little and blinked like she’d just been caught staring up at the sun. “I was the person standing behind her with my arms crossed over my chest, glaring at them. Or the one stuck wading in to pull people off of her.” She’d done that a few times, because Clary was scrappy and didn’t care if she had to fight to stand up for what she believed in. “Not that Clary couldn’t handle herself sometimes. She’s scrappy, and after her first fight, I made sure she could handle herself at least.”

Shaking her head, Magnus waved a hand, banishing the food between them so there was a little more room for her to lean in. “Oh, I bet Jocelyn _loved_ that.”

Alec looked down at her hands to try and hide her grin.

She wasn’t very successful. Magnus let out a delighted laugh. “You didn’t tell her!”

“She wanted Clary to have nothing to do with the Shadow World. Fighting was part of that. I wanted to make sure she didn’t get her ass kicked.” And that if anything like what was currently going on ever happened, Clary would be more prepared than she thought. A devilish smile touched Alec’s lips. “I’d love to see their faces the first time one of the Shadowhunters tries to spar with her. Clary’s got a solid roundhouse kick, and she’s wicked with a set of blades.”

That only made Magnus laugh even more. “You taught her _blades_?” she asked incredulously. “That’s not standard self defense, my dear.”

“I discovered that. Later.”

Still laughing, Magnus shook her head. She reached out one hand and caught Alec’s fingers on the cushion between them, toying with them a little. “It sounds like you two were very close. I can’t imagine this separation is easy on you.”

“She doesn’t seem to be having any problems with it.” The words slipped out before Alec could stop them. As soon as she said them, she flushed and ducked her head. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. She’s got quite a lot going on right now.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to be left behind,” Magnus said gently, threading her fingers with Alec’s. “Especially when it takes her to the one place you can’t go.”

“I want her to be safe.” Even if that wasn’t with Alec, it was what she wanted. Besides, she trusted Isabelle to help make sure Clary was safe. Right now, Clary needed to focus on finding her mom and finding the Mortal Cup before someone else did. Alec’s feelings weren’t anywhere near as important as all of that.

Magnus opened her mouth to say something, only to get cut off by the sound of a ringing cell phone. She hesitated for only a moment. Then, sighing, she drew her free hand up and snapped, calling her phone to her. A moment later she had it pressed against her ear. “You better have a damn good reason for disturbing me right now.”

A startled laugh slipped from Alec at that. _Only Magnus_.

That laugh was wiped away a second later when she watched the mask of High Warlock fall over Magnus’ face. “Bring him here, quickly. I’ll get everything ready,” Magnus snapped. Her phone was tossed to the side a second later. When Magnus turned toward Alec, the younger woman knew that something had happened. Something serious. She went still in her seat as Magnus sat forward and caught both of her hands, holding them in her own, and met her eyes with a serious stare. “Alexandra, I need you to listen to me and I need you to stay calm, because I’m going to need your help.”

_Oh, Raziel, no. No, please._ “Who’s hurt?” That was the only thing it could be. The only thing that she could think of that would make Magnus react like this.

Magnus didn’t even bother to lie or twist words. “Luke.”

That was so far from what Alec was expecting it took her a moment to even process it. When she did, her hands tightened on Magnus’.

She didn’t have to ask what happened. Magnus was already explaining it. “He challenged the Alpha to save Clary from something and was bitten. They’re bringing him here now. To treat an Alpha bite isn’t something easy. If you can’t help, I understand.”

“I can help,” Alec said. Her voice was flat, devoid of the emotion that had been there moments ago.

Magnus didn’t question her. She nodded, giving Alec’s hands one last squeeze. Then she was pushing up, and Alec followed her, the two of them using their magic to banish anything else out of their way and to clean up the couch. Alec called up a sheet as well; something to protect the couch from blood or anything else. She also took a second to call up some regular pants so she wasn’t just sitting around in shorts when the others got here.

When Alec turned around, Magnus was already at a set of doors that, up until now, Alec hadn’t seen open. A second later she understood why. Magnus was clearly in her apothecary.

A small part of Alec made note of it with that curiosity that had used to make Dot laugh at her. While Alec didn’t know a ton about potion making, it _was_ one area she was more than a little interested in. Learning from someone with the kind of reputation that Magnus had would be wonderful.

Those were thoughts for later, though. For now they had something much more important to do.

Alec took a moment to center herself and take a deep breath. Whatever was going on didn’t sound good at all and she needed to be ready.

The others must’ve been practically there already when they called, because at that moment Alec felt the shift in the wards around them that meant that they were coming in. Alec twisted at the same time that the doors opened. When she saw Clary and Simon bearing the brunt of Luke’s weight between them, she rushed forward, hands and magic already out to help.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Alec demanded, gathering Luke up. She used her magic to lift him, easing the weight off the other two. It didn’t escape her notice that they’d clearly been through something judging by their slightly dirty and ruffled clothes.

Simon was the one to answer. “Werewolves kidnapped us. Jace and Izzy came to save us, but then Luke was there and he challenged the Alpha and now he’s like this and we don’t know what’s going on…”

They’d reached the couch by then, and Alec shifted Luke’s weight, adjusting him so that he could settle down more comfortably. About that time was when Magnus joined them again. She came up, pushing Clary and Simon both out of the way, and bent down to press something into Luke’s mouth.

“What’s that?” Clary demanded. “What’s happening?”

“Just a bit to help. Random werewolf transformations are a side effect of an Alpha bite.” She didn’t stick around, drawing back and rising once she had the medicine in place. “I’m short a few things for the potion I need.”

Before Magnus could even think to ask for help, or Clary could voice the protest building on her lips, Alec straightened up and said, “Tell me what you need.”

She appreciated that Magnus didn’t question her.

As Magnus rattled off ingredients Alec mentally ran through the stores that she and Dot kept in the shop. Hopefully the stuff was still hidden in the closet in Dot’s room. If they were lucky, the fire hadn’t hit there. With a bit of focus Alec extended her magic and called the items she needed along with a few others that might help them.

When she saw all of them land on the table, she let out a sigh. Thank the Angel.

Magnus didn’t waste any time thanking anything. She brushed her fingers over Alec’s arm in a silent thanks that was really all they had the time for. Then she was gathering up her supplies and moving to start throwing the potion together. Alec knew where her own skills and knowledge lay, and that wasn’t in potion making. Not right now. “I’ve barely begun to study potions,” she told Magnus bluntly. “But I know healing, and I know Luke’s body. I’ve healed him before. You take care of that and I’ll keep him stabilized.”

The way they moved around one another was with an ease that should’ve come from longtime practice. Alec trusted Magnus to do her best with the potion and Magnus trusted her to take care of Luke for them

As Alec settled down on her knees at Luke’s side, her heart ached at the soft sound of Jocelyn’s name that was falling from his lips. “Hang on, Luke,” she said softly, hands extended and magic already flowing. “Just hang on for me, okay?”

Taking care of the smaller wounds wasn’t that hard. Alec closed those just so she could better focus on the rest of him, and so maybe Luke’s body would have a better shot at keeping him going without having to split his healing in multiple directions.

The door opened again and Alec registered Jace coming into the loft. That was all the focus she paid it, though. The rest of her attention was on Luke. She looked down at his face, so pained at the moment, and wanted to reach out and smooth those pain lines away the same he’d done for her before.

Sometimes she forgot just how vulnerable Luke truly was. He was a wolf, yes, and that meant he was faster, stronger, much harder to hurt and definitely harder to kill. Yet, just like the rest of them, he was still part human. He was vulnerable to some things.

It felt so wrong. For half of Alec’s life this man right here had been her rock. The stone upon which Alec had rebuilt herself after everything had shattered. He’d been there for everything important for her. _And I’ve barely even talked to him these past few days_. It wasn’t just Clary who was getting sucked into things. Alec had been, too, and she was neglecting her friends and family because of it.

“You and me are going out to dinner after this,” Alec promised him lowly. “Okay? It’s been a while since we’ve done that, and we need to do it again. You’re the one who insisted on once-a-week dinners after I moved out. You don’t get to back out on me now just because our lives are crazy.” _Just please, be okay. I’ll go to any dinner you want, do anything, just be okay, please._

Alec poured a steady stream of magic through her hands into Luke’s wound. Behind her, she could hear Clary, Simon, and Jace all moving around. Alec could hear them talking – it sounded like they were discussing Valentine, his rise to power and the trouble he’d caused. For the most part Alec ignored it. She needed to focus.

It wasn’t until a hand touched her shoulder that Alec lifted her gaze and tuned herself back in. She found Magnus squatting down beside her. The older warlock smiled, her knuckles coming up to brush back a bit of Alec’s hair that had come loose. “He’s mostly stable right now, darling, and the potion needs to simmer for just a little bit. Take a few minutes to breathe and let me take over.”

“He’ll stay steadier if I’m the one to maintain it,” Alec said. It was true, too. Especially since some of what she was doing wasn’t purely warlock magic. Plus, she couldn’t help but want this. To be the one to keep her hands on Luke and keep him going. Much as she was coming to find she trusted Magnus, this was just one of those things that Alec needed to do herself.

The nod that Magnus gave said she understood. Even so, she offered her hand, wiggling her fingers a little over Alec’s shoulder. “Need a boost?”

After everything Alec had been doing the last few days, and with as little sleep as she’d managed to get, a boost didn’t sound too bad. She didn’t want to have to activate another stamina rune. She’d already had to give herself a nourishment rune, and those two didn’t always mix together the best. Not without a pretty shitty come-down.

But sharing strength was something intimate. And it was always smarter to give the strength to the person who was stronger – in this instance, Magnus. Feeding Magnus’ strength through Alec, especially when their magic wasn’t used to working together, could be dangerous. Not that Alec didn’t trust her to keep them safe.

Magnus nodded at her even though Alec hadn’t said a word of that. She put her hand on Alec’s shoulder again, ready to help if need be, but kept her magic to herself. “If it starts to be too much, I’m pulling you,” she warned quietly, voice pitched for Alec alone. At the look Alec shot her, she gave her own firm one in return. “In this, darling, you’re still very much a student. One without a teacher. So I’m taking it upon myself to make sure you don’t accidentally do something stupid.”

“I’m fine,” Alec insisted. Even if she wasn't, Luke was the important one here.

Magnus gave her shoulder a squeeze. “For now. Let’s hope it stays that way.” Then, withdrawing her hand, she pointed a finger at Alec’s nose. “And we’re ordering more food after this. You’re burning out all the energy I just put back in you.”

“You know, Catarina was right.” Alec looked up and shot a dry look Magnus’ way. “You _are_ a mother hen.”

To her surprise, Magnus actually looked like she blushed a little for a moment. She clearly hadn’t expected to be called out quite like that. However, she recovered quicker than Alec ever could, and she booped her finger against Alec’s nose. “Careful, kitten. I can just cut in now and magic you up a grown-up high chair to eat in while I go back to work.”

“Are you two kidding me right now?” Jace interrupted them. “I don’t need to hear this shit.”

Despite his words he didn’t seem all that honestly upset. The worst he was doing was wrinkling his nose. Otherwise, he looked mostly amused.

Well, amused and a little something else. Something that kind of lit up his eyes a bit when Simon snorted and said “Trust me, this is nothing. I don’t know about Magnus, but once you get Alec going she kind of has no filter.”

_Well now, isn’t THAT interesting_. Alec knew she hadn’t mistaken Jace’s earlier interest in Clary. Maybe that was more like a physical interest, though. Clary was a pretty girl. But that look on his face when looking at _Simon_? The mockery that just barely hid his blatant attraction? Alec was going to have _fun_ with that.

Not to mention it’d make things a little easier for Clary, who Alec had absolutely noticed check out Isabelle more than once.

_Raziel, what a complicated mess we all are_ , Alec thought to herself.

“He’s not wrong,” Clary said, bringing Alec’s attention back to the conversation. The girl had come over to lean against the back of the couch, one hand going out to smooth over Luke’s forehead. It seemed to help the feverish mumbling he was doing. Clary gave him a sad, soft smile, and then looked up at Jace, clearly trying to distract herself. “Alec doesn’t really have much of a filter when she actually chooses to speak.”

“I speak plenty,” Alec shot back. It was a familiar argument; one they’d had often enough and could easily fall back into. The familiarity of it soothed them both a little more.

“I’ve never had any issues getting her to speak to me,” Magnus said. She’d moved back over to give her potion another stir.

“And you have no idea how rare that is,” Simon chimed in. “Usually all it takes is a pretty girl to turn Alec into a walking disaster.”

Alec twisted herself enough that she could shoot a venomous glare over at Simon. The kind that never failed to make the kid snap his jaws shut and hide. The fact that he did so now by ducking down behind Jace clearly amused everyone else. Jace looked back at him with an eyebrow raised, and then shook his head and stepped to the side. “No way, buddy. I’m not getting in the middle of sibling squabbles. You’re on your own here.”

Simon looked at Jace like he’d just mortally betrayed him. “Cold, man. That’s cold!”

“You better watch yourself, Lewis,” Alec warned him. Then she cut her eyes over to Clary. “And you, too, Fray. You guys forget I know just as many stories about the two of you as you do about me. I’m not the only disaster in this group.”

Clary bent over the back of the couch to reach out and actually _pat Alec’s head_. “You’re our grumpy, loveable disaster gay, sweetie. And we love you for it.”

The sound Jace made came out sounding like a cross between a laugh and a snort. It only got worse when Simon bounced up on his toes and nodded, his hands moving excitedly. “We’ve got buttons and everything! We used to wear them on our backpacks at school. Alec’s says _disaster gay._ ”

“Mine says _disaster bi_ ,” Clary said, grinning.

“And mine says _disaster pan_ ,” Simon said.

Jace was still laughing, shaking his head at them all at the same time, and Magnus had joined in as well. “Oh, I knew I liked you all for a reason,” the older warlock said, grinning as she came over to join them, a cup in hand. “Here, move, move. This is ready, and I don’t really think we should keep him waiting any longer.”

The lighthearted atmosphere they’d been using to distract themselves was banished with that. Magnus came up, and with Clary’s help they got Luke’s mouth open and the potion tipped down into it. It took a little time and effort to get him to drink it all, but Alec could feel as it started to work. She felt the poison slowly drain away from the bite she was still trying to heal.

When the last of the potion was done, and the poison gone, Alec healed as much as she could and then began to draw her magic back out.

A snap from Magnus had a bandage around Luke’s waist and tied up above his shoulder. “There, that should hold him over for now. Best if we let his own healing take care of the rest.”

“Thank you, Magnus!” Clary said. She darted around the couch, almost flinging herself at Magnus to hug her. “Thank you!”

Snorting, Alec used her wrist to push back a bit of hair from her face, and she sat back on her heels. “Oh, no, don’t thank me,” she said grumpily. “It’s not like I did anything at all over here.”

Clary laughed and broke away from Magnus. She only gave Alec enough time to get up to her feet before she was throwing herself at Alec. The two connected in a hug that lifted Clary right up off her feet. “Thank you, Alec! You’re the best!”

“And don’t you forget it, Fray,” Alec said, giving her an extra tight squeeze.

A few minutes were lost as Magnus transported Luke to a guest room right off the living room. Clary and Simon went with them, helping to get Luke settled and to ask whatever questions it was they clearly had. That left Jace and Alec standing together alone in the living room

Though they’d kind of reached a silent understanding the last time they’d seen one another they were still two strangers. People who had no idea about one another and no connection except a girl they both loved as a sister.

Alec shuffled awkwardly where she stood, brushing her hands over her shirt to smooth it out. “I uh, I see Clary woke up fine.”

Almost immediately Alec was cursing herself for such an inane statement. _Clearly_ Clary was fine. Though, the fact that she hadn’t called to let Alec know kind of stung a little. It sounded like they’d had a busy day.

“Yeah,” Jace said, stuffing his hands down into his pockets in a gesture that was almost as awkward as Alec was. “Yeah. She said she doesn’t really remember anything yet, but those blank spots in her brain are gone. Magnus warned us it would probably take time for everything to sink in.”

“So how’d you guys go from _there_ to all… this.” Alec gestured around the living room to try and encompass everything that had just happened.

A heavy sigh from Jace had Alec looking up. She found that the man had a labored look on his face, like he was more than a little frustrated, and it was a look Alec was intimately familiar with. It was one she’d worn plenty of times after being involved in Clary’s shenanigans. Sure enough: “Izzy and I were off on a mission to talk to her Seelie boytoy about something, and while we were gone I guess no one was watching over Clary, cause she snuck out.”

“Of course she did,” Alec said, sighing.

“Her and Simon met up and then went to the house to see if they could find clues we missed or whatever. I guess some werewolves saw them and decided taking them was the best way to get the cup.” Jace shrugged, that pained look growing a little. “Simon called and told us about it when they locked him in a little room in the back of the Jade Wolf. Izzy and I rushed over there, and then, well, all that mess happened.”

That… definitely sounded like something Clary would get herself involved in. Alec shook her head again, her lips quirking up in almost resigned amusement. “Yeah. I probably should’ve warned you guys about the Clary-effect.”

Humor lit up Jace’s eyes. “The _what_?”

“The Clary-effect,” Alec repeated. A grin lit up her face. “If there’s trouble to be found within a twenty mile radius, it’s going to be drawn to her like a magnet. And she doesn’t have the common sense God gave a flea, which means she can’t help but get even _more_ involved with it while staying stubbornly sure the whole time she can get herself out of it.”

Alec had heard the others coming back, so she made sure to say that last part a little louder just so Clary would hear it.

She wasn’t disappointed. Clary came back into the room with a glower and a sharp “Hey!” on her lips. When she stopped near them, she had her hands on her hips and was trying her best to glare at them. All it did was make Alec think of the _chihuahua_ all over again. “It wasn’t my fault I was kidnapped! Are you trying to victim-shame here, Alexandra Rollins?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like she’s _wrong_ ,” Simon said. He followed it up with a quick “Ow!” when Clary elbowed him. “What? You know it’s true, Fray. I’ve never met anyone in trouble more often than you!”

“I will stab you, don’t think I won’t,” Clary threatened him.

Magnus brushed past the two of them, giving a dry “No one’s stabbing anyone in my home, thank you very much” as she went. She stopped near her drink cart and began to mix herself another drink, only pausing to wave a hand at the leftover potion ingredients and vanish them. Likely to her apothecary. “I’ve had enough stabbing in my place lately.”

“We should probably get out of your way, anyway,” Jace suggested. He shot a look over at Clary, who stopped playfully arguing with Simon to straighten up, a protest already on her lips. “We need to get you back to the Institute before Maryse notices you're gone. Izzy can only hold her off for so long.”

Those words hit Alec like a bucket of ice water. Every inch of her froze at hearing her mother’s name. It felt like she wasn’t just hit by the ice water – she was submerged in it. Sound felt muffled, and her skin had that tingling numbness to it.

Maryse. _Maryse was at the Institute._

Alec felt herself speaking though she didn’t recall making the choice to say the words. Her throat felt dry, and yet her voice was steady, though it’d dropped into a flat, emotionless tone. “Maryse is here?”

All eyes were on Alec. She knew that, yet didn’t really register it. Nothing was cutting through the ice. All of her focus was on Jace, who was grimacing a little as if just realizing what he’d said and who he’d said it in front of. Alec couldn’t pay attention to anyone else. Not even when Clary and Simon both came up to stand on either side of her.

“Uh, yeah,” Jace said. “She showed up yesterday. With this whole Clary thing going on, she came to make sure everything was going smoothly.”

Knowing Maryse that meant she’d come to seize control and make sure that everyone was abiding by the rules. Alec could easily see what she would do. How she would grab for whatever power and control she could to try and make the outcome something to her liking. Once, Alec would’ve been sure that she was doing it to protect her kids as well, but time and distance and _fear_ had a way of changing things. Alec’s viewpoint now was far different than the one she’d had as a child.

A small, firm hand caught Alec’s, pushing through the fist she’d made without even realizing it. Alec instinctively loosened the grip so as not to hurt Clary, only for the girl to take advantage of it by threading their fingers together.

Alec closed her eyes and tried to blink around the fear and the ache that were growing inside of her. Lately, those sensations seemed to be an almost constant companion, something that she couldn’t get rid of. Every time she thought she pushed it away, something else happened to bring it back.

“You guys should go back,” she said in a voice still too flat and cold.

Clary tightened her grip on Alec’s hand. “Alec…”

But Alec cut her off with a shake of her head. “Jace is right. Mo-Maryse can only be distracted for so long. If you’re not there when you should be, it’s Izzy and Jace who are going to get in trouble.” She lifted her eyes back to Jace. “You’ll have to think about how to spin this very carefully. You won’t be able to keep it quiet – not with the shifting of wolf hierarchy. But you should be able to downplay it. Though, you’ll have to come up for some reason to pay Magnus that they won’t suspect.”

Listing what they needed to do helped Alec steady herself just a little bit. She wouldn’t admit that Clary’s hand in hers and Simon’s steady presence at her side were both helping even more.

Simon startled a little at her words. “Pay?”

“Maryse won’t approve it, not when it was a wolf and not a nephilim she was helping,” Jace said.

Alec lifted an eyebrow at him. “That’s why I said you’ll need to find some sort of reason.” When they looked blankly at her, Alec raised both her eyebrows. “She performed a service for you guys here. You burst into the home of the High Warlock of Brooklyn, practically demanded her help, had her do a rather intense healing, and she even used her personal supplies to do it. You can’t expect her to do all that without compensation.”

“I’m sure we’ll come up with something,” Magnus said, reminding them all that she was still there as well. She’d turned a fond look Alec’s way. One that was just a little surprised at the same time. As if maybe she hadn’t expected Alec to stick up for her like that.

None of what Alec had said was wrong, though. Magnus had done quite a lot for them just now. She deserved to be compensated for it the same way she would be if anyone else had come in asking her favors.

Another squeeze from Clary had Alec turning to her. The younger girl was smiling up at her. “We’ll figure out something so you guys get paid. Both of you. _Without_ mentioning your name.” The last part was tacked on when Alec’s eyes widened at the idea of her even being _mentioned_ to Maryse.

Now that some of the ice was melting away, fear was able to get a toehold in her, and Alec turned a little more toward Clary. “You need to be careful there, Carrot. I mean it. Not your usual bull-in-the-china-shop kind of careful, either. If you mention me to her…”

“I get it, Alec,” Clary said gently.

“Do you? Clary, if she hears you talk about me and puts the pieces together, you have no idea what she’d do. You could be signing my arrest papers.” Or her death papers. Depending on how things went.

“Do you really think she’d do that to you? Maryse, I meant,” Simon asked hesitantly. The fact that he seemed to know what was going on wasn’t any real surprise. Clary told him pretty much everything. This – yeah, she wasn’t surprised that Clary had told him, though it did have her turning back to her friend to glare.

To her credit, Clary looked a little bit sheepish. “It’s Simon. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“My choice,” Alec said, tapping a finger against her chest. Those two words were all she needed to say. She knew Clary would remember the conversation they’d once had about secrets and _coming out_.

The apology that lit up Clary’s face soothed some of Alec’s annoyance. She sighed, giving Clary’s hand a squeeze before letting go. Then she turned back toward Jace and nodded at him, trusting her friends over to him.

It didn’t escape anyone’s notice that Alec didn’t actually answer Simon’s question. That silence was just as telling as any words she might’ve said.

A few hugs were exchanged, and promises that Magnus would absolutely call the instant Luke woke up, before Clary was convinced to leave. Simon took a moment while he was in Alec’s arms to tell her “Call me tomorrow or something, all right? Don’t think being a badass warlock gets you out of hanging out with your dorky mundane friends.”

Alec smiled a little as she pulled back. “Have I ever been that lucky in the past?”

“You love it, Rollins,” Simon shot back. Then he grinned, and he was taking off after Jace and Clary, already babbling a mile a minute as he went.

That just left Alec and Magnus standing there together in the now-quiet living room.

Alec held back a sigh as she straightened herself up. It was time for her to go as well. When she turned, she managed to summon up a small smile for Magnus, even if she wasn’t quite feeling it. “Thank you for a nice dinner, Magnus. I should probably go, too. I still need to go find and ward a place to stay for the night.”

“As if I’m going to just let you go running out around the city this late at night,” Magnus said, scoffing at her like she couldn’t believe Alec was even suggesting it. “Besides, I told you I was going to feed you when this was all done. You put out quite a bit of energy there to help keep Luke stable while I worked.”

“I’m fine,” Alec insisted.

She was cut off when Magnus gave her a sharp look. “Forgive me if I don’t quite believe you.” Abruptly her look gentled. She took a step forward and reached out, touching her fingers to Alec’s arm. She waited for Alec to look at her before offering. “As I told you before, darling, I have a more than serviceable guestroom. One that isn’t even occupied by a sleeping werewolf. You’re more than welcome to stay there.”

“I’m not going to take advantage of your hospitality, Magnus,” Alec said, shaking her head.

Amusement lit up those golden eyes. “Which is a sweet thought, yet utterly unnecessary, Alexandra. You’re taking advantage of nothing, and giving me the pleasure of your wonderful company.” Her words brought a blush to Alec’s cheeks, and a bit of an awkwardness that Alec knew she didn’t hide. Magnus took pity on her and added on, “If it helps, look at it this way. As you said to your friends, I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Taking care of the warlocks in my city is part of the job.”

That… actually helped, a little. To think that this was what the High Warlock _did_ and not just Magnus being flirty or trying to get into her pants. Maybe Alec should’ve wanted it the other way; wanted this to be something Magnus just did for _her_. But honestly Alec preferred it this way. There was less sense of _pressure_ to it all.

Magnus’ grin made it clear she knew she’d won. Without waiting for Alec to say anything, Magnus shifted just enough to link their arms together. Then she began nudging Alec off to the right, in the opposite direction of the room she’d put Luke in. “Come on then, Cinderella. Let me show you to your new room. Then we’ll see about getting you some more food.”

This probably wasn’t the smartest idea that Alec had ever made. Yet, it felt right. Here, she knew she’d be safe for a while. She could rest and recover and _plan_ without fear of being attacked at any given moment. Magnus’ wards were strong – that was easy enough for Alec to tell. Not to mention, having a powerful warlock nearby was definitely a bonus. Right now Alec hated to admit it but she needed all the help she could get.

The room Magnus took her to was lovely. It was simple, with a large bed, a closet, and a few bookshelves filled with books. But Magnus also waved her hand and summoned a little table and some comfortable chairs to sit over by the large window, and fresh sheets in red and gold were put on the bed. “If there’s anything of yours you’d like to bring over and store here, feel free,” Magnus said.

A real smile lit up Alec’s features. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“Think nothing of it. I’m going to quite enjoy having your company here.” That said, Magnus smile gentled into something a bit warmer. A bit teasing. “Just so you know, my door is always open. In case you’re looking for someone to snuggle with while you sleep,” Magnus said, winking.

Just the thought of going down to Magnus’ room at night and climbing into bed with her was enough to have Alec’s body warming. A little bit from embarrassment, yes, but also from how much she _wanted_ that. More than she’d expected.

The soft way that Magnus was looking at her left Alec feeling like, once again, Magnus was seeing more than most might’ve on her face. Since when had Alec lost the ability to hide her emotions from people? Or was Magnus just that good at reading her?

“I mean it, you know,” Magnus said into the quiet of the room. The teasing edge was gone from her words. In its place was something a whole lot gentler. “It doesn’t have to be anything other than wanting the presence of another body in the room.”

“You mean you’re _not_ trying to seduce me?” Alec asked. She tried to make the words teasing, just to put them back on a level she was more capable of dealing with. While Magnus’ flirting did fluster her it was also a lot easier to deal with than this kind of open caring.

A bright grin flashed over Magnus’ face. “Well, yes, of course I am. Have you looked at you, darling? You’re a _vision_. But, I find myself wanting a little bit more. You’re…different, Alexandra. In ways I never expected."

“I don’t know how much I have to offer anyone right now, Magnus. My life is, well, you’ve seen it. It’s a mess. And it’s going to get messier as all of this gets worse.”

“I’m not scared of a little mess.”

Alec gave a low, bitter laugh. “There’s nothing _little_ about this.”

“Alexandra, you are one of the most beautiful, fascinating beings I have met in a very long time, and I’d love dearly to get to know you better. I also happen to want to tumble you into the blankets and put my mouth all over you until you’re sobbing from it. Trust me, your _mess_ isn’t scaring me away.” Leaning in, Magnus brushed a kiss against her cheek. “Just think about it. I’m going to go ahead and get us a second dinner while you settle in.”

With those words, she left Alec standing alone in her new bedroom, shutting the door behind her as she went.

For a moment Alec couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare at the closed doors. After a long pause, she shook her head. Magnus just kept surprising her over and over again at every turn.

In a world gone crazy, it was nice to see there were still some good surprises out there.

Alec sat down on the edge of what was a very soft bed, and she let herself sigh. Let her body slump a little under the weight of everything that had happened today. She was tired, her body was aching, and the wound on her leg was still sore. But she was somewhere safe, somewhere she could heal, and that meant more than anything.

Between Valentine, Dot’s disappearance, Clary’s new life at the Institute, Luke’s attack, the attack Alec had gone through, and now Maryse being back – the future promised to be an interesting one.

Something told her it was going to be a whole lot more interesting with Magnus at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much! I have a one shot and another chaptered story I'll be putting up slowly but surely. Thank you for all your comments they mean the world!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to drop me a comment to let me know what you think!


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